D&D 4E Every 4E discussion I have ever seen, in a nutshell

moritheil · May 24, 2008

sukael: That reminds me, I wonder what support there will be in 4e for playing ghosts.
moritheil: I wonder what support there will be in 4e for playing anthropomorphic baleen whales.

(Yes, I willingly and facetiously took on the role of both munchkin and person who imagines 4e will be 3e with no paradigm adjustment in this discussion. There is a reason behind this.)

moritheil · May 24, 2008

I guess the 4e forum isn't the place for 4e metadiscussions. :uhoh:

Mort_Q · May 24, 2008

It just wasn't... you know... funny.

Andor · May 24, 2008

Mort_Q said:
It just wasn't... you know... funny.

What he said.

IME the generic 4e discussion goes something like:

Fanboy: 4e includes sliced bread! This is the best thing ever!
Grognard: Real medieval europeans ate stew on trenchers. Logically 4e can only lead to sliced luncheon meats and all the tears that will bring.
Fanboy: I want ninjas on mammoths throwing sliced luncheon meat. Medieval europe is dead to me.
Grognard: 4e bologna is SQUARE! D&D is dead to me.

unobserved · May 24, 2008

Andor said:
IME the generic 4e discussion goes something like:

Fanboy: 4e includes sliced bread! This is the best thing ever!
Grognard: Real medieval europeans ate stew on trenchers. Logically 4e can only lead to sliced luncheon meats and all the tears that will bring.
Fanboy: I want ninjas on mammoths throwing sliced luncheon meat. Medieval europe is dead to me.
Grognard: 4e bologna is SQUARE! D&D is dead to me.

you missed a reference to WoW ... but other than that .. bang on.

Doug McCrae · May 24, 2008

Summary of ENWorld's 4e discussions:

Erinyes, dragonborn breasts, golden wyvern adept, lightning panther strike and diagonal movement are videogame-y, don't feel like D&D to me and break my suspension of disbelief. Please don't call them cool.

physics_ninja · May 25, 2008

Snappy Answers to 4e Complaints

Complaint: I hate 1-1-1-1 diagonal movement! It’s too much like a board game.
Snappy Answer: 4e has a much greater emphasis on the far realm. It’s non-Euclidian nature is leaking in. It’s supposed to drive you mad.

C: And I don’t like how they are not including Gnomes and Druids.
SA: They took out Gnomes because they couldn’t decide on a niche. Like whether they should live in the hills and play jokes on the Dwarves or live in the forest and steal nuts from Druids.

C: But I still want to play a Druid.
SA: Then play a cleric who likes to collect nuts. And replace radiant damage with nut damage.

C: I also don’t like the swingy nature of hit points. They don’t actually mean anything now. They go up and down like stock market values.
SA: Hit points never meant anything in the first place. Read your 1e DMG. In fact, all of your problems will go away if you replace ‘hit points’ with ‘nuts’.

C: And I don’t like Astral Diamonds. They’re dumb and too expensive. D&D economy makes no sense.
SA: First, see my comments regarding the far realm. Second, replace all mention of Astral Diamonds with nuts.

C: And Dragonborn shouldn’t have boobies.
SA: Certainly not the ones with Astral Diamonds.

Valerion Steele · May 25, 2008

physics_ninja said:
Complaint: I hate 1-1-1-1 diagonal movement! It’s too much like a board game.
Snappy Answer: 4e has a much greater emphasis on the far realm. It’s non-Euclidian nature is leaking in. It’s supposed to drive you mad.

C: And I don’t like how they are not including Gnomes and Druids.
SA: They took out Gnomes because they couldn’t decide on a niche. Like whether they should live in the hills and play jokes on the Dwarves or live in the forest and steal nuts from Druids.

C: But I still want to play a Druid.
SA: Then play a cleric who likes to collect nuts. And replace radiant damage with nut damage.

C: I also don’t like the swingy nature of hit points. They don’t actually mean anything now. They go up and down like stock market values.
SA: Hit points never meant anything in the first place. Read your 1e DMG. In fact, all of your problems will go away if you replace ‘hit points’ with ‘nuts’.

C: And I don’t like Astral Diamonds. They’re dumb and too expensive. D&D economy makes no sense.
SA: First, see my comments regarding the far realm. Second, replace all mention of Astral Diamonds with nuts.

C: And Dragonborn shouldn’t have boobies.
SA: Certainly not the ones with Astral Diamonds.

ROFL....
Player: i´m a druidic-cleric!!
DM: are you nuts??

Mort_Q · May 25, 2008

Brilliant! Thanks.

Family · May 25, 2008

Now we just have to set this thread to a new Weezer song.

D&D 4E Every 4E discussion I have ever seen, in a nutshell

moritheil

First Post

moritheil

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Mort_Q

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Andor

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unobserved

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Doug McCrae

Legend

physics_ninja

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Valerion Steele

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Mort_Q

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Family

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