Epic Spell Help: "Baleful Lifebind"

First some background: In my setting, native gnomes are cursed to explode when they reach the age of fifty. This is because an incredibly epic wizard, Kit Nosrac, hates them with a passion. My brother wanted to make a gnome warmage who tried to subvert this by becoming a lich (yes, its a female with pink pigtails, for that he shall suffer). But my brother has requested that I make his lich "doomed" to meet Kit Nosrac some day, and have him blow him up. "ahh, very clever way of subverting it. BOOM".

I came up with the funniest way to do it: Force the lich to come back to life and then allow the curse to take its course (the gnome was 40 seconds from the moment of splody when she turned into a lich.).

Now I am curious how one could do this legally with the rules for epic spells. I mean sure I can always go with "rule of funny" but I really wanna know. Basically I want the gp and xp costs, along with a final spellcraft DC. Note that Kit Nosrac is high enough level and has epic buffing spells that give him a high enough intellect to tackle just about any spellcraft DC.

-No save
-No SR
-No components
-Quickened
-The target is brought back from the dead whether he wants it or not.
-If it targets an undead, it returns to its original form
-If the target has its soul in a vessel, the vessel is broken and the soul is reunited with the body.

My only problem is that I have trouble doing anything ad hoc. Period. There isnt a specific rule about denying saves....guess they didn't want players building the Tomb of Horrors? Meh.

Any help will be appreciated

1.

You're over thinking this. Kill the lich, resurrect her, and boom.

Now, what's a really clever way around this is to use the spell Reincarnate.

2.

XP cost: Not an issue with minion abuse.
Spellcraft DC: See above
GP cost: Not an issue with infinite wealth loops.
Time: Not an issue with planes where time flows slowly.

Given all the ways to break Epic Spellcasting, feel free to just assume that it happens.

And I already said i KNOW its not an issue, and that I was CURIOUS >_>
Why enter someone's thread and invalidate the question being asked?

aarondirebear said:

And I already said i KNOW its not an issue, and that I was CURIOUS >_>
Why enter someone's thread and invalidate the question being asked?

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BecauseI never learned the true meaning of Christmas?

Dandu said:

BecauseI never learned the true meaning of Christmas?

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Clearly.

As an aside, I always thought that the way epic levels were handled in 3.x were kinda funny anyways. Shouldn't he just be able to kick ass?

Do the gnomes explode in a colorfully violent way?

Hughjefender said:

Do the gnomes explode in a colorfully violent way?

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I would hope so. Then send a pack of 1E ghosts into Gnome town.

I will say that aaron's wizard seems a bit overpowered if his intellect is so high he can use any spell.

Hughjefender said:

I will say that aaron's wizard seems a bit overpowered if his intellect is so high he can use any spell.

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Wait... You hear the words "Epic" and "Wizard" in the same context and you think he "seems a bit overpowered"? Because his intellect is high? I kneel humbly in the presence of the Lord of Understatement.

Seriously, any mention of the Epic Level Joke Book guarantees that the game has already ridden a horse and cart straight into the middle of Crazy Town. Saying that an Epic Wizard "seems a bit overpowered" is like saying that a black hole "seems a bit on the heavy side". It's true, but it's not really representative of the full facts

Anyway, to address the OP, I happen to have my Joke Book to hand so I'll see what I can do....

You're right about there being no DC for "no save", but there's a modifier for penalising the saving throw. Maybe you could just apply that until the save modifier is so impossible that it's effectively a no-save spell... If your Epic wizard can flange any Spellcraft check (which is pretty easy) then you can just stick 100 on the Spellcraft DC to add +50 to the save DC.

As for the rest, well:

You need the Life seed which has a starting DC of 27.
You want it Quickened, which gives you +28 to the Spellcraft DC.
You want the undead returned to life whether willing or not: that's impossible with sub-epic versions, but in this case we can just allow a saving throw...

So your Spellcraft DC is 55, plus however much you want to add to increase the DC of the save. We'll assume you're going to add 50 to the DC, for a total Spellcasting DC of 155.

GP Cost: 1,395,000 (chump change to an Epic Wizard)
Development Time: 27.9 days
XP Cost: 55,800 (actually, it's - at most - 500Xp, not counting minion abuse, because your Epic caster can and will have made himself a Thought Bottle)

Assuming an ability modifier of +15, that's a save DC of 75 even if you haven't managed to give Kit some bullsh*t bonuses to the save DC's of his spells.

(And don't think I missed the Kit Carson reference either: how very frontiersman of you )

There's another - and in my possibly even funnier - way of dealing with this though. Use Polymorph Any Object (or an Epic version using the Transform seed) to turn the lich into a 51-year-old living gnome, which then immediately explodes.

That way you don't have to worry about the bringing-the-unwilling-dead-back-to-life clause. It's cheesy, but everything involving Epic level spellcasting is cheesy.

yeah, sorry about that.
I'm a bit new to RPGs. I understand that some campaigns are more lulz-oriented, I've just never seen nor played them. The few campaigns I have played were one 4th edition D&D game and a few D20 Moderns. I prefer the D20 Modern setting personally, but that's just my opinion. I am willing to learn more though and I tend to ask a lot about mechanics and how they work in terms of gameplay.