My contribution.......
Smeagolian Rhapsody (Gollum's Lament)
(To the music of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody)
This is my life-
A Tolkien fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escaping Mt. Doom I see-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
Two Hobbits waving, who give me no sympathy-
Because I’m sinking fast, I’m going down,
A little crisp, a little brown.
Anyway the Ring glows, it’s all that really matters to me,
To me
Mama, just killed Deagol,
Bashed a rock against his head,
Throttled him and now he’s dead,
Mama, it was my birth---day gift,
But now you all want me to go away-
Mama ooo,
Didn’t mean to make you cry-
I’ll be at the Misty Mountains come tomorrow-
Carry on, carry on, as if Smeagol doesn’t matter-
Too late, for working out,
I’m all skin hung on a spine-
Body’s aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody- I’ve got to go-
Gotta leave you all behind and eat my fish-
Mama ooo- (any way the Ring glows)
I’m not gonna die,
The goblins wish I’d never been born at all-
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
It’s a Hobbit! It’s a Hobbit! Every d**n Tolkien fan knows
Furry feet and pipeweed-very very frightening me-
Baggins, Baggins,
Baggins Baggins
Baggins Bilbo-not-Frodo
But I’m just Gollum and nobody loves me-
He’s just Gollum from a Gollum family-
Spare him his life - he’s a monstrosity-
Easy come easy go-, I won’t let the Ring go-
Precious! No-we will not let it go-let it go-
Precious! No-will not let it go-let it go
Precious! We will not let it go-let it go
Will not let it go-let it go
Will not let it go let it go
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia let me go-
Lord Sauron has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me-
The fat hobbit tricked me, then spat in my eye-
Then Frodo he robbed me and left me to die-
Oh Master-can’t do this to me Master-
Just gotta get-just gotta get you and the Ring-
Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters- just the Ring, it matters to me.
Any way the Ring glows....