Iron Sky
Procedurally Generated
I wrapped up an EPIC RPG campaign earlier this year and, while it was cut far shorter than I initially intended, it still completed a pretty cool narrative arc.
At the start of each session, I decided to read a pre-written "Previously on..." like you see in ongoing TV series to get everyone back into the game and this resulted in me having a brief narrative summary of the game when it concluded. Though not as in depth and novel-like as a Story Hour, it has the massive advantage of being already written an so needing only a bit of editing on my part and it's ready to go!
Life's pretty hectic at the moment, but since I'll mostly just be editing, I should be able to get at least one post up a week until it's done.
Below is the primer pages I sent the players before the game started to give them a feel for the world before we rolled up characters. If you're wondering about the huge amount of name-dropping, I was hoping to get a good overview of the Professions I whipped up for this campaign at least somewhere in the back of their minds (and maybe give them inspiration for what to become during character creation) before we got started.
***
"Come back here and have a seat, kid. Not sure who put the notions in you head, but you seem to think the world is like the stories - full of heroes and villains, lost wonders and ancient treasures, last minute rescues and daring escapes, great world-spanning adventures; a place where you know your friends from your enemies, where the bad guys are nefarious and your allies never stab you in the back. That sound right?
"Thought so. Listen up before you go get yourself conscripted, enslaved, or indoctrinated into some cult full of fanatic lunatics.
"The great Aedaric Emperor that rules most of the known world, fifty Legions at his beck and call, the Imperial Cults groveling at his feet? He's got more strings tied to him than a box full of puppets, can barely take a piss without this Dynast noble or that merchant princess from the House of Patrons or the other High Priest from whatever Sanctioned Cult telling him it's okay first.
"The great Citertion Cult that keeps the administrative gears running, that great bastion of organization and order? So corrupt half the taxes they levy never even reach the Imperial Treasury. The Empty Bed, they's the sole Imperial Spy service, right? And who they report to? No one knows!
Then there's Unbael's Shadow Priests selling secrets to the highest bidder? What about the House of Patrons and their networks of spies - all Imperially Sanctioned! Don't even start again on your supposed "Fraternus" that runs things from behind the scenes...
"Those things never mentioned in the stories, are they? Why's that you think? Use your brain! Who pays the Loresingers to sing their family histories, who patronizes the Thesp when they're looking for a venue to entertain a crowd, who can afford a Vagabond from the Troubadour Court to entertain at their parties? Get it?
"You keep going on about people finding powerful relics from the wastelands - you actually waiting for some hero to come walking out of some blasted ruin on the horizon and save you from waking up every day wondering where your next meal's coming from? Forget it.
"Those ruins that ain't already been picked clean five centuries ago are so rotten with monsters, layered with curses, or so magioactive you couldn't cross the threshold before you're in something's gullet, catching a nasty personal pox, or watchin' your skin melt off your bones.
"Why should that hero give a Copper Wretch for your sorry skin? She finds a relic, she's going to carve out a nice little kingdom somewhere in the wasteland and lord over whatever idiots flock to her banner. Or maybe she's smart and sells it cheap to the Arcanistry or the Reliquary before they take it by force - or better, she pawns it off to the Arcanite Templar in the Sultinates, lives in a palace in Immen with a hundred slaves kowtowing the rest of her life. But most likely she brushes with a Sisterhood assassin and ends up holding her guts in an alley. Psh.
"You still think you're going out there and become a hero? Maybe fancy yourself walking through the silent streets of the Dead City at the base of the Unspoken Tower? Sail the Rictus Sea, brave the killing fogs on the Black Continent, scale the Black Tower? That still the plan? Impossible! Those towers got no tops, just go straight up all the way to through the Starless Void! Might as well plan on climbing the vertical league of the Barrier Wall and spitting off the edge of the world.
"I don't care if that Doomspeaker saw wealth and glory and fame in your Arcana - they only say what you want to hear, ain't no one gonna pay for bad news. No, best to stick here in the tenements where we got water that's usually drinkable and it's mostly safe to walk on the streets during the day.
"Maybe we talk your way into an apprenticeship somewhere... what about the Order of Revered Sculptors? You always lookin' at those statues everywhere. Or, if you're just hankering to die with an axe through your skull, squire on with a Chapter of Century Knights, get paid well to war and maybe get your name in their Sagas. Just don't go near the Legions less you want to march half across the world to die in the mud just so some Dynast can brag about their great victory - and that's only if they don't start decimating again to keep discipline.
"Nothin' left to conquer out there anymore lest you wanna wade a week through a cold swamp full of Serpent Dragons and fight them white-skinned barbarian Thanes and their unnatural Rimewitches up north or fight those Sand Vipers and Unvisaged brutes down south; maybe attack up the face of a living volcano to attack the black walls of Peer or brave a league of rusty, jagged scrap to get a look at Tarnish before one of their Knights Mechane in their fancy Runic-etched armor take out you and your whole cohort out single-handed. How 'bout just scale Saito's Wall, go fight the God and his armies of fearless Jade Warriors in the rice swamps of Chiain? How's that all sound?
"Besides, ain't no need go looking for trouble, its stirring right here in Old Aedaron. Old Emperor won't live forever and his only daughter's not even a woman grown yet. What do you think all those behind the stage pulling his strings gonna do when he's gone and they feel the slack? Stage is gonna fill right up before it they start thinning each other out again, that's what.
"Legions' getting restless on the frontiers too - head to the Chipped Helm and listen to that one-legged Hero Slayer grumble or his friend the mind-blasted Venator mumble: no loot comin' in, no decent land to award, the Praetors leading the Legions now all perfumed Dynasts that couldn't make it an hour behind the shield of one of their Bondmarked Praetorian Bodyguards much less one day in the sandals of a Centurion - and that's who they got playin' general!
"Then throw the terrorists in the mix: Endoveen loyalists still hunting revenge hundred years after their last Empress was overthrowed, Black Legion traitors skulking about causing trouble, rogue Runics messing with writing and who cares if they take out half-a-city doing it! You hear about those Broken Shackle abolitionists who think slaves should all be made freemen - the thought! Next they'll be trying to say Wretches are people too!
"Add to it all the Sultinates bleeding the Legions at Umbar, the Eon Barons and their stolen magic who don't know when to stay beaten, restless Clans up north always hankering to carve off a piece of the Empire, and them Junkers scattered everywhere; they and their haywire contraptions ain't to be trusted is what I say!
"Been listening? Put down them thoughts of joining some secret order or scrapping together some weapons an' truckin' off into the wastelands to die. Only get thirty years in what's left of this world if you're lucky, no need to rush to a horrible end out there when you can settle for a half-bad one here.
"Tell ya what, forget all this an we'll stop by the Stewmaster's Guild see if we can't beg a scrap, maybe go listen to the Chymists debate philosophy on Glass Row? How abouts we finish up by watching that big Aethership set off over the Great Sinkhole?
"We got a deal or I need go an' drop a month's wages convincin' a Dream Minder or Thoughwalker to scare some sense into you while you sleep tonight?"
At the start of each session, I decided to read a pre-written "Previously on..." like you see in ongoing TV series to get everyone back into the game and this resulted in me having a brief narrative summary of the game when it concluded. Though not as in depth and novel-like as a Story Hour, it has the massive advantage of being already written an so needing only a bit of editing on my part and it's ready to go!
Life's pretty hectic at the moment, but since I'll mostly just be editing, I should be able to get at least one post up a week until it's done.
Below is the primer pages I sent the players before the game started to give them a feel for the world before we rolled up characters. If you're wondering about the huge amount of name-dropping, I was hoping to get a good overview of the Professions I whipped up for this campaign at least somewhere in the back of their minds (and maybe give them inspiration for what to become during character creation) before we got started.
***
"Come back here and have a seat, kid. Not sure who put the notions in you head, but you seem to think the world is like the stories - full of heroes and villains, lost wonders and ancient treasures, last minute rescues and daring escapes, great world-spanning adventures; a place where you know your friends from your enemies, where the bad guys are nefarious and your allies never stab you in the back. That sound right?
"Thought so. Listen up before you go get yourself conscripted, enslaved, or indoctrinated into some cult full of fanatic lunatics.
"The great Aedaric Emperor that rules most of the known world, fifty Legions at his beck and call, the Imperial Cults groveling at his feet? He's got more strings tied to him than a box full of puppets, can barely take a piss without this Dynast noble or that merchant princess from the House of Patrons or the other High Priest from whatever Sanctioned Cult telling him it's okay first.
"The great Citertion Cult that keeps the administrative gears running, that great bastion of organization and order? So corrupt half the taxes they levy never even reach the Imperial Treasury. The Empty Bed, they's the sole Imperial Spy service, right? And who they report to? No one knows!
Then there's Unbael's Shadow Priests selling secrets to the highest bidder? What about the House of Patrons and their networks of spies - all Imperially Sanctioned! Don't even start again on your supposed "Fraternus" that runs things from behind the scenes...
"Those things never mentioned in the stories, are they? Why's that you think? Use your brain! Who pays the Loresingers to sing their family histories, who patronizes the Thesp when they're looking for a venue to entertain a crowd, who can afford a Vagabond from the Troubadour Court to entertain at their parties? Get it?
"You keep going on about people finding powerful relics from the wastelands - you actually waiting for some hero to come walking out of some blasted ruin on the horizon and save you from waking up every day wondering where your next meal's coming from? Forget it.
"Those ruins that ain't already been picked clean five centuries ago are so rotten with monsters, layered with curses, or so magioactive you couldn't cross the threshold before you're in something's gullet, catching a nasty personal pox, or watchin' your skin melt off your bones.
"Why should that hero give a Copper Wretch for your sorry skin? She finds a relic, she's going to carve out a nice little kingdom somewhere in the wasteland and lord over whatever idiots flock to her banner. Or maybe she's smart and sells it cheap to the Arcanistry or the Reliquary before they take it by force - or better, she pawns it off to the Arcanite Templar in the Sultinates, lives in a palace in Immen with a hundred slaves kowtowing the rest of her life. But most likely she brushes with a Sisterhood assassin and ends up holding her guts in an alley. Psh.
"You still think you're going out there and become a hero? Maybe fancy yourself walking through the silent streets of the Dead City at the base of the Unspoken Tower? Sail the Rictus Sea, brave the killing fogs on the Black Continent, scale the Black Tower? That still the plan? Impossible! Those towers got no tops, just go straight up all the way to through the Starless Void! Might as well plan on climbing the vertical league of the Barrier Wall and spitting off the edge of the world.
"I don't care if that Doomspeaker saw wealth and glory and fame in your Arcana - they only say what you want to hear, ain't no one gonna pay for bad news. No, best to stick here in the tenements where we got water that's usually drinkable and it's mostly safe to walk on the streets during the day.
"Maybe we talk your way into an apprenticeship somewhere... what about the Order of Revered Sculptors? You always lookin' at those statues everywhere. Or, if you're just hankering to die with an axe through your skull, squire on with a Chapter of Century Knights, get paid well to war and maybe get your name in their Sagas. Just don't go near the Legions less you want to march half across the world to die in the mud just so some Dynast can brag about their great victory - and that's only if they don't start decimating again to keep discipline.
"Nothin' left to conquer out there anymore lest you wanna wade a week through a cold swamp full of Serpent Dragons and fight them white-skinned barbarian Thanes and their unnatural Rimewitches up north or fight those Sand Vipers and Unvisaged brutes down south; maybe attack up the face of a living volcano to attack the black walls of Peer or brave a league of rusty, jagged scrap to get a look at Tarnish before one of their Knights Mechane in their fancy Runic-etched armor take out you and your whole cohort out single-handed. How 'bout just scale Saito's Wall, go fight the God and his armies of fearless Jade Warriors in the rice swamps of Chiain? How's that all sound?
"Besides, ain't no need go looking for trouble, its stirring right here in Old Aedaron. Old Emperor won't live forever and his only daughter's not even a woman grown yet. What do you think all those behind the stage pulling his strings gonna do when he's gone and they feel the slack? Stage is gonna fill right up before it they start thinning each other out again, that's what.
"Legions' getting restless on the frontiers too - head to the Chipped Helm and listen to that one-legged Hero Slayer grumble or his friend the mind-blasted Venator mumble: no loot comin' in, no decent land to award, the Praetors leading the Legions now all perfumed Dynasts that couldn't make it an hour behind the shield of one of their Bondmarked Praetorian Bodyguards much less one day in the sandals of a Centurion - and that's who they got playin' general!
"Then throw the terrorists in the mix: Endoveen loyalists still hunting revenge hundred years after their last Empress was overthrowed, Black Legion traitors skulking about causing trouble, rogue Runics messing with writing and who cares if they take out half-a-city doing it! You hear about those Broken Shackle abolitionists who think slaves should all be made freemen - the thought! Next they'll be trying to say Wretches are people too!
"Add to it all the Sultinates bleeding the Legions at Umbar, the Eon Barons and their stolen magic who don't know when to stay beaten, restless Clans up north always hankering to carve off a piece of the Empire, and them Junkers scattered everywhere; they and their haywire contraptions ain't to be trusted is what I say!
"Been listening? Put down them thoughts of joining some secret order or scrapping together some weapons an' truckin' off into the wastelands to die. Only get thirty years in what's left of this world if you're lucky, no need to rush to a horrible end out there when you can settle for a half-bad one here.
"Tell ya what, forget all this an we'll stop by the Stewmaster's Guild see if we can't beg a scrap, maybe go listen to the Chymists debate philosophy on Glass Row? How abouts we finish up by watching that big Aethership set off over the Great Sinkhole?
"We got a deal or I need go an' drop a month's wages convincin' a Dream Minder or Thoughwalker to scare some sense into you while you sleep tonight?"
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