The never ending story of ...

BoldItalic · Dec 14, 2017

Od contemplated his room in the attic of the Pig and Lion. It was dingy and squalid but at least it was free. The previous occupant had left it in a filthy state but Od conjured up an Unseen Servant who soon set about cleaning it up. Mice scurried under the furniture in alarm as a broom wielded by invisible hands swept every corner free of dust and cobwebs.

Od settled on the bed and cast a Light cantrip on the bedpost behind his head. He drew out a letter and began to read. A halfling maiden had thrust it into his hand earlier, as he finished his performance in the common room downstairs. Tumbling and Juggling was his forte and it went down well enough tonight, but the customers had really been more in the mood for a sing-song. A few bars on the flute had been enough to set them off and the landlord was suitably appreciative, for singing makes thirsty throats and thirsty throats make good takings at the bar.

"Dear Od", the letter began ...

rgoodbb · Dec 14, 2017

"Dear Od", the letter began ...

You must come home soon. Mother has gone mad and locked father in the basement. I can hear his cries and pleading to be let out. Mother has become dangerous. She thinks she is doing this for my protection. Od. Please get here as fast as you can, I beg of you. Together, we may be able to stand up to her once and for all.

Your loving brother, Ivan.

Od, stalling, reread the letter another two times, eventually sighed, collected his things and snuck out the Pig so's not to awaken the landlord. He took to the western road in the dead of night, old long repressed memories returning to haunt him.

So caught up in these emotional thoughts was Od that he almost failed to see.......

BoldItalic · Dec 14, 2017

He almost failed to see.......

... the pirate walking towards him, with a rolling gait that spoke of a long-time sailor only recently disembarked onto dry land. A wind sprang up out of nowhere as the pirate casually suggested to Od that he hand over his valuables "because of the storm that was brewing".

Od knew a Charm Person spell when he saw one and countered with one of his own. "Your pirate hat is attracting the lightning, better let me hide it for you," he suggested. Their eyes locked and both laughed, recognising a kindred spirit. They shook hands.

"Nornthew," the pirate introduced himself. "Seafarer out of Neverwinter. I do a bit of Storm work."

"Od," replied Od. "I do a bit of performing. Taverns mostly. Where are you heading?"

Norn's reply astonished the bard ...

rgoodbb · Dec 14, 2017

Norn's reply astonished the bard ...

"I was heading to the Pig to pick up an individual....who's....supposed..to av'.....some....magic." Norn stared into the face of Od, lightning reflecting in his eyes. "Well. I guess that's you. C'mon we av' one other to pick up along the way and then we're heading for your 'ome."

"Wha...How do you know all this? Who are we picking up? What is going on at home? Why are you involved?" Od began to hyperventilate with the intensity of the moment.

"I'll tell ya along the way. We av' to stop off at Lower Trieve, an' this one ain't gonna be 'appy abaat' this."

Norn did not divulge any more formation along the wet and muddy road west. It was early morn and the mists were still clearing when they entered the squalid village of Lower Trieve. They meandered towards the outskirts nearing a small wood-hewer's hut......

BoldItalic · Dec 14, 2017

... nearing a small wood-hewer's hut......

A burly man was outside the hut, chopping wood. He looked up as the two approached and made a sign of peace. "Nordthew? What brings you to these parts?"

"We 'ave need o' ye, Sergeant Herewulf. This 'ere 'alfling bard, name of Od if ye believe it, 'as family trouble. Needs a peacemaker such as yerself. Or, if'n it comes to blows, yer 'ealin' 'ands."

Herewulf grumbled. "You know I've retired from the Order. And I've never taken the Oath. Can't you leave me alone?"

"Nope," replied the pirate forcefully. "There be evil afoot, turnin folks mad agin' each other. 'Tis just the start. We stand or we fall. You know the score."

"If it's too much trouble, please don't inconvenience yourself," offered Od in feigned meekfullness. This had precisely the effect he had calculated. The paladin stiffened and became resolute.

"I'll get my equipment," said Herewulf, laying down his woodcutter's axe and going indoors. He emerged ten minutes later clad in chainmail, a rapier at his belt and bearing a shield emblazoned with the sign of the goddess Eldath. "Let us venture forth!" he declaimed dramatically.

The three set off ...

rgoodbb · Dec 14, 2017

The three set off ...

The weather deteriorated to such an extent that the uncomfortably muddy road transformed into a gloopy quagmire. Along the way Herewulf paused to lend his considerable strength in aid of a cart, its wheel slodged fast in the mush.

Od, taking a leary glance at the sky above spat out his thoughts. "Is this your doing Norn?"

"What? Oh. Nope. I have some power over inclement weather but this is just nasty." Thunder crackled ominously around them all as if to prove his point.

A whiles later they huddled and hunched under a therecastle tree for breakfast, Nornthew keeping the downpour off of them with minor magic, Od heating and flavouring the food.

"Flaimin' heck Od. That's some good grub there." Herewulf exclaimed, licking his fingers. "So what's all this about then?"

"Well....It's like this............

BoldItalic · Dec 14, 2017

"Well....It's like this............"

Od sumoned up all his story-telling skills to try to make what he was about to relate sound halfway plausible. Which it wasn't. Even when he glossed over the complicated bits, it was still crazy.

"My step-father, Jonas, who is also his own aunt twice removed (it's a tight-knit family) goes mad and hairy every full moon so my step-mother Betty has to lock him up in the cellar for a few days otherwise he will start eating his relatives (which is the entire village, one way or another). He was Cursed By Fate two years back. Fate is the village witch, by the way, and is everybody's grandmother so no-one can get rid of her but she's really nasty and does things like turning people blue for no reason. Now Betty used to be a priestess of Lolth until she Fell From Grace and had to run away. She won't talk about it but she goes all weird if you mention slave boys and manacles. Anyway, she married Jonas for his money but then found out he hadn't got any and she's never forgiven him and keeps him locked up in the cellar even after the full moon, just out of spite."

Herewulf nodded. "So, what exactly is the problem?" he asked.

"The cat's gone missing."

"And the cat is ... ?"

"My uncle Barnabas."

"I see. What do you make of this, brother Nordthew? What do you propose?"

"Obviously a hotbed of evil. Plunder the village, slaughter the inhabitants and raze it to the ground."

"You mean kill everybody and take all their stuff?"

"How else?"

"Er ..." interjected Od. "That's my village we're talking about."

"Good. You can give us the inside on where all the loot is stashed."

"That isn't ..."

rgoodbb · Dec 14, 2017

"That isn't ..."

"Don't bow out on me now boy. This is the stuff of intrigue. So....who's your daddy? Just kidding. Mum's the word. I give up. Uncle! But seriously. Our quest is to find the cat....your uncle....named Barnabas? That's some pretty messed up gronk right there."

"Welcome to my world. Why do you think I moved away?"

"Well incest..uhm I mean instead of running, shouldn't you be dealing with this?"

"I will. But no burning or stealing."

"Not even a..

"No!"

"Well is the cat a familiar? I mean I know it obviously gets familiar, caus like you entire fam... but, I guess we'll let you lead the way with this one. I don't understand the quest."

"Wait. Quest? Who told you about all this. My brother wrote to me, so who told you?....................

BoldItalic · Dec 14, 2017

Nord looked hard at Od. "He din't jus' write to you, he wrote to the whole wide world. There's copies of his letter in every tavern up and down the Sword Coast. He din't know where you were, see."

Herewulf looked thoughtful. He did that sometimes when conversations took an unexpected turn and he wanted people to slow down and give him time to think. "If everyone knows about the Quest," he suggested, "there could be dozens of adventurers heading for Od's village right now, chancing their luck. That's fine by me - they can deal with it and I can go home. Thanks for the meal, I'll be off now."

"Not so fast," protested Od. "The letter didn't say where my village is. It didn't even give the name of the village, because it didn't need to. But I know where it is. No-one else can muscle in. There's just us. It's our problem."

"He's right," agreed Nord. "It's our problem."

The paladin sighed. "So it comes down to smiting evil. Why is it always smiting evil? Can't evil just take a break from being smought? Oh well. I suppose I must. But we need a proper plan, though. Objectives. Milestones. Diagrams with bubbles and arrows joining them up. That kind of thing. Now, what's the name of the village, and where is the nearest castle?"

"If I tell you, do you promise not to burn it down?"

"Oh, alright."

"It's called ... Wait! What was THAT?"

"What was what? Oh, that. Just the heavens being rent asunder and choirs of celestial beings singing in multitudes. It happens. Take no notice."

"No, I meant THAT. Over there on that hillside. What is it?"

"Looks like a gazebo, to me."

"I thought they lived in Africa?"

"That's gazelles."

"Oh."

"Whatever it is, it's headed this way."

Sure enough, within the space of a few short minutes, the gazebo arrived and ...

rgoodbb · Dec 15, 2017

Sure enough, within the space of a few short minutes, the gazebo arrived and ...

...A genie appeared.

"Greetings and good welcomings to you my friends. I am THACO. I usually arrive in a trap door rope trick but I have taken the upgrade option with all the turkey trimmings as you good people are fond of saying. With one cast of Transport Via Gazebos , I will spirit you away to your destination."

"Um. OK. Sure. I guess."

A couple of dumb nods and grunts later, they were at the house of Od's upbringing.

As a house, it was polite. With a good upbringing, taking in all the respectful customs and rituals....It was a Manor House.

The tempest as it truly was here had reached a crescendo of epic proportions.

Od was wondering what chaos his near and extended family had gotten themselves into

Herewulf was wondering how many xp he would be getting for this mission. It might level him up and he could really do with that inspiring leader feat.

Norn was wondering where all the girl adventurers had gone to these days.

Within the house itself, near the cellar door, words were being exchanged.........