OK, one last time in case I wasn't clear.
I view the rules as a method to implement real world activities (well, with spells and dragons); things that we could do in real life or things that we see in movies. The rules are there to give us a way to resolve those activities.
So in another example, I know what jumping is. The rules give me a way to implement jumping in a relatively fair and balanced (if not always particularly realistic) way.
So let's go back to a real world fight scenario. Two bullies approach, one throws sand in your eyes and the other sucker punches you while you're rubbing your eyes. I would say both bullies are attacking you. You agreed.
Now, let's say I want to run that scenario in game. The same thing happens from a narrative perspective. Two thugs approach the PC, one throws sand (helps) and the other sucker punches the PC while they're rubbing their eyes (attacks with advantage).
The fact that one scenario happened in the real world and the other happened in a game does not change the fact that I would describe it as two bullies/thugs attacking a person. Just because we have to resolve the uncertain outcomes in the game by following rules and rolling dice does not mean that the narrative changes.
But that's just my ruling. There are a number of scenarios where there is no attack roll where I would say that someone was attacking. As someone else posted if I lit up a flamethrower and fired it at you, I would be attacking you. I don't think anyone would debate that. I don't think it's reasonable that if you replace flamethrower with fire breathing dragon that it's suddenly open to debate.
Rule the way that you want at your table. As long as you're logical and consistent it's fine. Well, until the group starts getting fried by invisible dragons who remain invisible because they aren't "attacking" of course.