In all due respect I think that's because you were an impressionable kid.
I can recall the pictures of the first D&D book I ever saw. And those were cartoony 2e monster pics, not exactly works of art. But I remember them becuase I was a kid marveling at them.
Look at the cover of the 1E DMG. Cartoony does not come into it. That's friggin'
iconic!
Which brings me to request #11 (and I can't believe it wasn't in my list - it's the BIGGEST one):-
11) Make it a book you can
read. Not a reference book or dictionary; not a magazine (which I clearly remember Scott Rouse enthusiastically explaining to me at Gen Con just before they launched it - "
we're going with a magazine reference style! It's all dynamic! Bullet points! Lots of white space!"; I tried not to let my face fall too much. I used to reread the 1E (and, indeed, the 2E) books again and again. They had paragraphs of text and everything! I have never read the 4E books; I've merely used them for reference. They're books of lists.
I think the biggest lesson to learn here is the difference between a book and a powerpoint presentation. A book should not be a powerpoint presentation. Too "modern". Face it, RPGs aren't a modern phenomena - re-engage with a cool retro vibe rather than try to fit it into a shoe that is the wrong size.
I recognise that one of the goals was clarity. I submit that one of the primary enjoyments of the game was discussion over interpretation of rules. This was as much fun as playing the game itself, and taking it away is a bad move. I'm not saying that one should obfuscate things, but one should feel free to wax lyrical and let the players enjoy discussing what you wrote. Hell, you can make a career out of explaining what you wrote! (OK, that's silly, and clearly over-the-top, but sometimes a choice between clarity and poetry is not as clear cut as an IKEA instruction manual; sometimes it's about the pleasure of
reading the damn thing).
C'mon - what's better for an author than readers discussing what you wrote?