I use a homemade table for Wild Magic Surge that balances good, bad, and neutral a bit better (IMO). Also has some more humor to it.
Wild Magic Surge
01 Roll twice, use both effects.
02 Skrillex appears and begins playing super loud, terrible music for the next minute. All creatures within 200 feet are deafened for the duration.
03-04 A massive, illusory explosion is centered on the caster. For the next minute, the caster can see any invisible creature if you have line of sight to it.
05-06 A Modron chosen and controlled by the DM appears in an unoccupied space within 5 feet of you, then disappears 1 minute later.
07-08 You cast fireball as a 3rd-level spell centered on yourself.
09-10 You cast magic missile as a 5th-level spell. The missiles are the fingers of the casters hand, but instantly grow back. Painful for the caster.
11-12 The caster’s arms become vines, but continue to function normally, for one hour. In addition, entangle is cast, centered on the caster.
13-14 The caster’s form becomes bright and vibrant, like a cartoon. Also confusion is cast centered on the caster.
15-16 For the next minute, you regain 5 hit points at the start of each of your turns. Any lost body parts grow back at the end of the duration.
17-18 You grow a long beard made of feathers that remains until you fall, at which your descent is slowed as if affected by feather fall. Once you land, you will sneeze and the feathers explode out from your face.
19-20 You cast grease centered on yourself, and your nose becomes a pig’s snout until remove curse is cast on you.
21-22 Creatures have disadvantage on saving throws against the next spell you cast that allows a saving throw.
23-24 Caster becomes a squirrel for the next hour. You take on all statistics of the cat as listen in the Monster Manual with the exception of your mental statistics and your hit points. All equipment is melded into your new form. However, you can still talk and are able to cast spells as normal.
25-26 An eye appears on your forehead for the next minute. During that time, you can cast a force ray from the eye as a bonus action using your spell attack bonus. Damage for the ray is 1d8.
27-28 For the next minute, all your spells with a casting time of 1 action have a casting time of 1 bonus action. Also, you must end each sentence with “giggidy” or you become a frog for an hour. If you become a frog, you take on all statistics of the Giant Frog as listed in the Monster Manual with the exception of your mental statistics and your hit points. All equipment is melded into your new form. In this form you cannot cast spells, but you can talk.
29-30 You teleport up to 60 feet to an unoccupied space of your choice that you can see.
31-32 All creatures within 60’ teleport to randomly swap places.
33-34 Maximize the damage of the next damaging spell you cast within the next minute.
35-36 The caster becomes the spell’s target. If caster was already the target, there is no other effect.
37-38 1d6 flumphs controlled by the DM appear in unoccupied spaces within 60 feet of you and are frightened of you. They vanish after 1 minute.
39-40 You regain 2d10 hit points, but smell like a skunk for the next 24 hours.
41-42 Caster’s head grows 5 times its normal size, forcing caster to fall prone and reducing speed to 5 feet. This effect lasts for one minute.
43-44 For the next minute, you can teleport up to 20 feet as a bonus action on each of your turns. Each time there is an audible “BAMF” with a puff of purple smoke where you started and where your appear.
45-46 You cast levitate on yourself. Whenever you move up, you are propelled by a loud, visible, green fart cloud expelled from your butt.
47-48 A unicorn controlled by the DM appears in a space within 5 feet of you, then disappears 1 minute later.
49-50 You can’t speak for the next minute. Whenever you try, your voice is bleeped and your mouth looks pixilated. As a result, you cannot cast spells with a verbal component.
51-52 A spectral shield hovers near you for the next minute, granting you a +2 bonus to AC and immunity to magic missile.
53-54 Your spell is chained, striking 1d6 random targets within 100’. If your spell does not target creatures, then there is no effect.
55-56 All those within 60 feet must make a Wis save against your spell save or be frightened of you.
57-58 Caster is affected by the reverse gravity spell for 1 min.
59-60 You regain your lowest-level expended spell slot.
61-62 For the rest of the gaming session, you must talk like a pirate. If you fail to talk like a pirate, you have disadvantage on all your saving throws for the rest of the session.
63-64 You cast fog cloud centered on yourself. The fog glows and music can be heard as if at a rave.
65-66 Up to three creatures you choose within 30 feet of you take 4d10 lightning damage.
67-68 You shrink one size category and a giant, illusory duck appears which is visible to all. You are frightened of the duck and it chases you until the end of your next turn, at which time you return to normal.
69-70 Each creature within 30 feet of you becomes invisible for the next minute. The invisibility ends on a creature when it attacks or casts a spell.
71-72 Your skin becomes living stone and you gain resistance to all damage for the next minute.
73-74 A random creature within 60 feet of you turns green and becomes poisoned for 1d4 hours.
75-76 You glow with bright light in a 30-foot radius for the next minute. Any creature that ends its turn within 5 feet of you is blinded until the end of its next turn.
77-78 All creatures within 100 feet of you heals to full hit points.
79-80 Illusory butterflies and flower petals flutter in the air within 10 feet of you for the next minute. This gives you half cover against ranged attacks.
81-82 You can take one additional action immediately. You must make a karate noise before taking this action.
83-84 Each creature within 30 feet of you takes 1d10 necrotic damage. You regain hit points equal to the sum of the necrotic damage dealt. Everyone knows that you stole their lifeforce.
85-86 You cast mirror image.
87-88 You cast fly on a random creature within 60 feet of you.
89-90 You become invisible for the next minute. During that time, other creatures can’t hear you. The invisibility ends if you attack or cast a spell.
91-92 If you die within the next minute, you immediately come back to life as if by the reincarnate spell.
93-94 Your size increases by one size category for the next minute.
95-96. You and all creatures within 30 feet of you gain vulnerability to all damage for the next minute.
97 All creatures within 100’ that have been dead for less than 1 minute are raised as zombies under the caster’s control. After 1 minute zombies crumble to dust.
98 The spell cast by the caster becomes a Living Spell. Roll a 1d6. On a 5 or 6, the Living Spell is friendly towards the caster and will accept commands for 1 minute before disappearing from existence. Otherwise, Living Spell will attack caster. The DM will choose an elemental most closely associated to the spell. The elemental’s slam attack does damage of the spell’s damage type. On a hit, the elemental’s slam also activates any non-damaging abilities associated with the spell. If the effect requires a saving throw, it using the sorcerer’s spell save DC
99 You regain all expended sorcery points.
00 A cow/anvil falls on your target. Target must roll a Dex save against your spell DC or be crushed. On a failed save target takes 6d6 damage and falls prone.
