Some Ideas for a "Useless" Character

So I'm building a 2nd level Rogue for a friend of mine's first run out at GMing. I'm USUALLY the GM, but some of the players are wanting to branch out and try their hand, so ...

ANYWAY ... his particular campaign setting allowed him to "open up" race choices (in D&D) to just about anything with a +1 ECL or lower.

For my part, I thought playing a Goblin would be kind of fun. So I'm creating "Grimbold The Mighty", a 2nd Lvl Rogue.

My "Concept" for the PC is the typical goblin. Cowardly, conniving, and utterly useless for anything when you're not watching him like a hawk. As a "concept" I like the idea ... as a player and a GM I know that trying to run a game with one PC who is totally useless beyond one kitchy RP Facet is a pain in the kiester, and I don't want to ruin the guy's game.

So I'm trying to think of ways I can make Grimbold SEEM useless ... ACT useless ... but maintain some level of utility for the group.

For my one feat (1?! I'm used to D20 Modern anymore) I chose "Bolt" from Cromagh's Guide to Goblinoids (GameMechanics). Basically if you're reduced to 1/2 HP you can act immediately on the next initiative number, but only to drop everything and run. Feat cracked me up, wanted to grab it.

With no STR bonus I don't see Grimbold fighting melee much (he has a Halfspear, though. Cheap.) Being small and having no archery feats (PBS/PS) I doubt he's going to offer support artillery with that shortbow (cheap). I'm contemplating giving him a Net (without the EWP for it) to toss around and try to Entangle people, but that -4 will nerf his ability to hit with it and I don't think its worth my ONE FEAT. At least not until next level, anyway.

Right now I'm contemplating pumping some points into Decipher Script, Spellcraft, and Use Magic Device to get synergy bonuses and increase his ability to use found items. Hopefully to comic effect on failures! For that feat at 3rd, then, I'd perhaps grab Magical Affinity, or whatever that one is that gives you +2 on Spellcraft/UseMagicDevice.

I've got ranks in all the usual suspects, of course. Good Open Lock, Hide, Move Silent, Disable Device, etc.

My OTHER idea was to have him make goblin-esque traps. Quick and Dirty sorts of things. Tripwires, falling rocks in buckets on doors, stuff like that. Unfortunately the Craft (Trapmaking) skill doesn't let you do much of anything other than build complex emplaced traps over the course of WEEKS ... There any useful supplements I could use to change that up and make Trapmaking a usefull skill for anybody other than a mad wizard in a dungeon lair?

Any other ideas of what I could do with this guy to make him SEEM useless but DO something and not be a burden?

--fje

I think you have a nice charcater concept going there and I personally don't see what is useless about him except for his direct combat abilities. Goblins are not great individual combatants anyway, they prefer groups. Besides comedy relief gets you extra roleplay at my table. Anyway just some thoughts.

1) Aid another - make your character help the other PC's - defense, attck..whatever - for color maybe he's doing it accidentally like cowering in front of the mage providing cover or whatever

2) You are still a rogue and sneak attack and flanking are your friend...use charge attacks with flank or find ways to sneak attack (if you go the use magic device route - rays and such)

3) Carry lots of healing potions and be a runner during combat taking them where they need to be. Get underfoot as much as possible. Be Fun.

4) Or just go for explosives, fires, tanglefoots..whatever artillery is still helpful

I hope this works out well for you and I'm sure others have great ideas for you as well.

I had a similar character with Use Magic Device and I made lots of friends by getting a wand of Snakes's Swiftness and using that in combat when I couldn't do much else. Its a 1st level Druid/2nd level Wizard spell from the Minis Handbook that grants the target one more attack instantly.

Why have one of your own weak attacks when you can make friends by giving the big powerful fighter one much more powerful attack.

If you want to be useful, Aid Another is actually pretty effective.

I have a gnome druid whose melee damage is damn pathetic (unless he has had a chance to buff up) -- a whopping d4 or d6 damage if I manage to hit. I crunched the numbers and figured the party was vastly better off if I Aid Another one of the two-handed weapon wielding tanks. I could often give him a flank, too. +4 to hit is nothing to sneeze at. The Power Attacking tanks will love it because they get the glory of making a massive attack.

I think something you have to realise here is that in this particular case your character concept is totally divorced from the mechanics that you use to make the character.

ie - The key thing is that grimbold doesn't do anything without supervision. That's NOT a game mechanic. That's purely roleplaying.

Outside of that you could make grimbold ANYTHING at all - he could be a wizard, a cleric, a rogue, a ranger. Anything.

So - make an effective rogue and then roleplay cowardice and sloth to your heart's delight.

I like the idea.

Max out your spot/listen skills so you know when danger is approaching (Alertness helps). Squeal some warning to the party, then bolt off and hide.
Let the party take the brunt of the initial volley, while you call out further warnings (the obvious would work well). Sneak attack from cover and skirt the melee going on. Then charge in when its almost over and backstab the enemy your big, bad fighter type has whittled down and proclaim victory - which, of course, wouldn't have been possible without good ole Grimbold the Mighty.

If the combat goes against your party, run away at top speed all the while yelling "I will save you!" (Run, Endurance help)

Some trap (snare) sites
http://www.i4at.org/surv/traps.htm
http://www.wilderness-survival.net/food-2.php

Alchemists fire ... Tanglefoot bags...

You might have a look at the Shieldmate feat in the MiniHB that gives your buddies next to you an AC shield bonus. Aid Another while fighting defensively might be your schtick.

Get a polearm/longspear in case you can get the proficiency somehow, that allows you to stay away from the enemies and still help your buddies while cowering behind them

Reminds me of an old 2e character of mine Dog-Boy.

I seem to recall a Feat that made you seem like an unworthy target. (In the "Feats" book from AEG?) "Non-Threatening"
There was also a feat called "Bootlicker" IIRC.
Also a cool Feat could be "Resourceful" which allows you to pull something handy out of your pack and pay for it retroactively. (had it all along!)

I think this is a hilarious concept, Heap. The key, it seems to me, is to use the mechanics to make Grimbold actually useful, then use your roleplaying to disguise the fact from the other players. Use a good, solid rogue build, focused on skills rather than fighting. Make him good to very good at all the usual rogue things, sneaking, lockpicking, etc. etc. (you seem to already be intent on doing this, good.)

Then in roleplay, as you stated, do nothing without being coaxed, cajoled, badgered, or outright threatened. Always act like you did poorly, even if you did well. When you fail, play up the failure. (Rolled a 1? Describe your arrow as hitting the fighter in the rear--bouncing off for no damage, of course.) When you succeed, downplay the success as something barely accomplished, etc. ("I critted the bugbear? But I was aiming for the gnoll!")

Your party will think you're a complete failure, until they sit down and actually start doing the math.

"Grimbold, he sucks! He can't do anything!"

"Actually, he does our lockpicking if I threaten to put my boot up his rear..."

"Hey, now that you mention it, I can't remember the last time he failed to pick a lock..."

The thing to remember is that you can roleplay a cowardly, sniveling goblin that tries to run away and never wants to do anything useful, without creating a mechanically fubared character. Grimbold can be a competent rogue, but it'll be up to the other party members to actually get him to do his job.