The big legged woman ain't got no soul.

I may have misheard the lovely British band known as Led Zeppelin, but i am here as a drunk American, on this pre-eve of Thanksgiving to tell you all my woes. Y'know, sometimes being honest is better than being tactful.

*expletive deleted, expletive dleeted*

I am not so drunk that I'd share this (even the slightest of misspellings, even if my ankle is dislocated and my fingers are numb [please read my storyhour]), even though I want you to know. I am displeased with my allies, and seek recompense, and if I could so weave fond text as well as my American founding father brethren, then I would be set, but alas, my work is ill-received.

Alas, alas.

When was the last time you read a drunk post on ENWorld. Sure, Granma Noah was alive during Prohibition in the States, but she would approve. Whoo ee, share the drunken love.

D&D is a fun game, but DMs are a bit overworked. What can we do to balance this cruel inequity? Might it involve Chris Pramas and that wonderful system that is called Mutants & Masterminds? I have not played it, have barely even read its rules, yet I am jealous.

I hope you guys have fun reading this. I had fun writing it. And I will have to edit the rules of E.N. Publishing's Tournaments, Fairs, and Taverns, available now at RPGNow.com, to coincide with this exorbitant drunken state I am in. Apologies to the children in the audience.

Now, to proofread.

I feel inny...inny...inebriated just skimming that for grammatical errors.

The purity of the stream of consciousness is a beautiful thing, blatto or not.

Let's try to think of all the ways you can say drunk:

Blasted
Wasted
3 Sheets to the Wind
Blatto
Lit
S-faced

Crap. I didn't intend to post that. Tiem to edit.

Good night.

GlassJaw said:

The purity of the stream of consciousness is a beautiful thing, blatto or not.

Let's try to think of all the ways you can say drunk:

Blasted
Wasted
3 Sheets to the Wind
Blatto
Lit
S-faced

Click to expand...

pissed
skunked
tanked
rip roaring
intoxicated
impaired
facultiless

facultiless

Click to expand...

Facultiless? Who says that? LOL.

Now how could you forget HAMMERED!!?!?

Best said right next to a drunk man's ear, before running away.

Hammered! Duh!

Add plastered to the list too.

In the bag
Smurfed
Wobbly
Plowed
Boozed

My friends in college would always say "D-RUNK" to indicate when they were seriously intoxicated.

Of course, these were the guys that would play "Draw Card, Drink" as a drinking game. If you have ever read the Calvin and Hobbes strips and remember Calvinball (where they make up the rules of the ball game as they go along), it was a drinking game kinda like that.

"I got a four of clubs. That means you have to drink."
"No way, dude. You put your four down on another even number of a red card. That means you drink double."
"Crap." *gulp, gulp*