Winner Announced! (EN) World's Toughest NPC Writing Contest [The Hamlet of Thumble]

I'm giving away a brand-new copy of "World of Whitethorn 1A: The Hamlet of Thumble" to an EN Worlder who can write! This is a challenging task, so if you're not up for it, then I'd suggest the Halfling Haiku (which is not exactly easy either, in my opinion).

Prove that the pen is more powerful than the sword!

Your task at hand is to describe and stat a halfling NPC named Neddy who owns a tavern called, you guessed it, "Neddy's Tavern" in The City of Calas.

Here are my rough notes:

29. Neddy’s Tavern
This is a local hangout that can get pretty rowdy at times. It’s a mixed, but mostly Kalen, crowd that likes to talk loud and get into some arm wrestling occasionally. Anyone who seems any bit unfamiliar might be stared at by the regular patrons and there have been a few brawls started by unruly regulars.

The local bully is Malloy (CG, Fighter, Lvl: 4, HP: 37, AC: 14 (+4 Armor / -4 Penalty), Speed: 20ft, Init: +0, Attack: +6 Melee w/ Masterwork Greatsword 2d6+3 Crit 19-20/x2, Saves: +8/+1/+2, Skills: Bluff +2 Climb +10, Feats Endurance, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Power Attack, Toughness, Weapon Focus (Greatsword), Str: 16, Dex: 11, Con: 14, Int: 10, Wis: 12, Cha: 8, Age: 32, Items: Scale Mail Armor, 3gp, 7sp, 5cp) who doesn’t like strange folk, especially those wearing robes (i.e. nobles and magic-users). He’s more likely to fight an outsider than one of his kinsman.

The owner is a plump halfling named Neddy (NG, Commoner, Lvl: 3, HP: 12, AC: 13 (+1 Size, +1 Dex, +1 Armor), Speed: 20ft, Init: +1 (Dex), Attack: +2 Melee w/ Punching Dagger 1d4+1 Crit x3, Saves: +3/+2/+3, Save vs. Fear: +2, Skills: Listen +8 Hide +8 Climb +3 Jump +3 Move Silently +3 Sense Motive +5, Str: 12, Dex: 14, Con: 12, Int: 13, Wis: 14, Cha: 13, Age: 62, Languages: Common, Halfling, and Dwarven, Items: Padded Armor, 15gp, 18sp, 12cp).

Neddy is a big gossip and if there’s anything worth talking about in the city, he's likely to know about it. If the PCs have any worthy information, Neddy will want to know about it, too. He uses his Sense Motive skill against anyone’s Bluff skill. If it’s good stuff, Neddy gives them some valuable news, too. Neddy also likes to eavesdrop on conversations when someone interesting comes in.

Note: Neddy should be raised to a 5th or 6th level commoner. Also, please remember that a 62-year old halfling is like a 41-year old human. Extra points for anyone who does Malloy, too (who should be raised to a 7th or 8th level fighter).

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This is an excerpt from The Hamlet of Thumble:

8. Hamfist’s House
Hamfist and his wife Eleree can arrange a warm bed and hearty breakfast for travelers in their modest, but clean and bright home. A jolly and cheerful halfling, Hamfist is probably the most friendly to visitors and likely to chat with any strangers coming to the hamlet. Knowing he and his wife are the only ones offering room and board, he often asks visitors where they plan to stay. He suffered an injury to his left arm when he was a farmer, so he and his wife began a bed and breakfast.

To help out financially and keep her mind away from her lack of childen, his wife began growing and selling apples to merchants. Eleree is bright, skillful, and warm-hearted to all who come to stay with them. Every morning, she bakes breakfast cakes and fries sausages and eggs for guests. She loves children and has been trying very hard to enlarge their family with Hamfist, but he is having difficulty and everyone knows this (especially after she confided with Peona who went ahead and told the whole hamlet!) It is her family’s money that helped start their bed and breakfast business.

There are three rooms available. Each has a pair of beds. It costs 5 sp per person per night. A nice warm breakfast and a nightcap with Hamfist by the fireplace are included.

Hamfist is Roldo’s older brother. He’s been trying to get their grandfather, Old Roplin, to talk to Roldo, but the cranky old halfling refuses to do so. Everyone knows Hamfist’s cousin, Neddy, runs a popular tavern in Calas. Eleree is Nydilia’s great aunt.

A small iron safe in the closet of their bedroom holds 3 gp, 18 sp, and 24 cp.

Hamfist – Male halfling Com3: CR 2; Small Humanoid (Halfling); HD 3d4+4 (10 hp); Init –1 (-1 Dex); Spd 20 ft.; AC 10 (+1 size, -1 Dex; touch 10, flat-footed 10); BAB +1; Grapple –4; Atk +0 melee (1d2-1, crit. 20/x3, rake); Face/Reach 5 ft./5 ft.; SQ Halfling traits; AL LG; SV Fort +3, Ref +1, Will +2; Str 8, Dex 9, Con 12, Int 11, Wis 10, Cha 12. Age 60; Height 3 ft.; Weight 90 lb.; grey/balding hair & blue eyes; Reputation +7 (Praiseworthy).
Languages: Halfling, Common.
Skills and Feats: Appraise +1, Climb +1, Diplomacy +5, Handle Animal +2, Hide +3, Jump +1, Listen +3, Move Silently +1, Profession (innkeeper) +5, Spot +1; Skill Focus (Diplomacy).
Possessions: Gold ring (50 gp value), rake, 1 gp, 10 sp, 11 cp.

Eleree – Female halfling Com2: CR 1; Small Humanoid (Halfling); HD 2d4-2 (3 hp); Init +1 (+1 Dex); Spd 20 ft.; AC 12 (+1 size, +1 Dex; touch 12, flat-footed 11); BAB +1; Grapple –4; Atk +1 melee (1d2-1 subdual, crit. 20/x2, unarmed strike); Face/Reach 5 ft./5 ft.; SQ Halfling traits; AL NG; SV Fort +0, Ref +2, Will +2; Str 9, Dex 12, Con 8, Int 13, Wis 12, Cha 13. Age 64; Height 2 ft. 6 in.; Weight 50 lb.; brown hair & brown eyes; Reputation +5 (Praiseworthy).
Languages: Halfling, Common.
Skills and Feats: Climb +1, Craft (cooking) +5, Craft (weaving) +3, Diplomacy +5, Hide +5, Jump +1, Knowledge (local) +3, Listen +4, Move Silently +3, Spot +3; Skill Focus (Diplomacy).
Possessions: Gold necklace (70 gp value), 2 gp, 5 sp, 10 cp.

Stat blocks should be 3.5 and compatible with other World of Whitethorn NPCs. They should also be updated to the new format below with ranks in parentheses and de-capitalization for cross-class skills. Here is an example from "World of Whitethorn 1B: The Village of Oester":

Sheppy – Male human Rog5: CR 5; Medium Humanoid; HD 5d6+5 (22 hp); Init +8 (+4 Dex, +4 feat); Spd 30 ft.; AC 18 (+4 Dex, +3 masterwork studded leather armor, +1 masterwork buckler; touch 14, flat-footed 14; armor check penalty 0); BAB +3; Grapple +4; Atk +6 melee (1d6+1, crit. 19-20/x2, masterwork short sword) or +4 melee (1d4+1, crit. 19-20/x2, dagger) or +7 ranged (1d8, crit. 19-20/x2, 80 ft., light crossbow); Face/Reach 5 ft./5 ft.; SA +3d6 sneak attack; SQ trapfinding, evasion, trap sense +1, uncanny dodge; AL NE; SV Fort +2, Ref +8, Will +3; Str 12, Dex 18, Con 13, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 8. Age 26; Height 5 ft. 5 in.; Weight 125 lb.; brown hair & blue eyes; Reputation -20 (Despicable).
Languages: Common (illiterate).
Skills (88): Appraise +7 (5), Balance +9 (3), Bluff +4 (5), Climb +4 (3), Diplomacy +3 (0), Disable Device +9 (7), Escape Artist +7 (3), Hide +10 (6), Intimidate +4 (3), Jump +8 (5), Listen +4 (2), Move Silently +10 (6), Open Lock +12 (8), Ride +6 (2), Search +7 (5), Sense Motive +7 (5), Sleight of Hand +14 (8), Spot +4 (2), Tumble +11 (5), Use Rope +9 (5).
Feats (3): Dodge, Improved Initiative, Weapon Focus (short sword).
Possessions: masterwork short sword, dagger with a sapphire crudely embedded into the handle (1,002 gp value), light crossbow, 8 bolts, masterwork studded leather armor, masterwork buckler, dust of disappearance (2 handfuls), 7 gp, 4 sp, 3 cp.

Dozens of entries for the Halfling Haiku contest, but not even a single response here? LOL.

I'm sure some of you are preparing entries or else this is going to be one easy contest to win!

Neddy’s Tavern:
This local hangout is a rather rough and tumble dive. The clientele are a mixed lot, mostly Kalen, but all the regulars have a fierce loyalty to “their tavern” and a loud belligerence towards one another. Outsiders will be met with suspicious silence until they have “proven” themselves and then they will be insulted, pounded and jeered at like on of “the boys.”

There are generally two ways to prove oneself to this crowd. It may be done by besting Malloy, a local tough, in a “fair” fist fight or by drinking a whole mug of “Neddy’s special brew.” It is generally considered that a fight with Malloy is the easier of the two. A fair fight is one in which neither combatant begins armed or armored. After that, anything goes (chairs, bottles, fists, kneed groins, etc.). Neddy’s special brew is a foul-tasting toxic blend of alcohol made from fermented beets which nine times out of ten knocks the drinker for a loop after a single mug.

Brawls are not unheard of in Neddy’s tavern, though it is usually only a matter of two or three slightly intoxicated friends having it out with each other. On those occassions where the whole tavern erupts into a melee it is usually a case of the regular patrons standing together against strangers. Neddy keeps a sling on his person and two dozen hard-boiled (and sometimes slightly rotten) eggs behind the counter. He’s a fair shot and will launch an egg at the head of anyone he thinks is getting out of line. He also keeps a stout club under the counter for more serious troubles. Neddy is much beloved by his patrons and anyone picking a fight with Neddy will find the entire Tavern is after them (brawl anyone?)

For those that pass the initiation and become “one of the boys” (females included), Neddy’s Tavern is a good source of information about the city. Anyone passing the initiation may subsequently add +3 to any Gather Information checks made inNeddy’s Tavern. (Anyone who has not passed the initiatin may subtract 3 from their checks). Neddy is himself fond of gossip and will exchange news for news.

Neddy – Male halfling Com3/Exp3: CR 5; Small Humanoid; HD 3d4+3d6+6 (23 hp); Init + 2 (+2 Dex); Spd 20 ft; AC 13 (+2 Dex, +1 size; touch 13, flat-footed 11; AC check penalty -0) or 14 (+2 Dex, +1 size, +1 padded armor; touch 12, flatfooted 12; AC check penalty -0); BAB +3; Grapple +4; Atk +5 melee (1d6+1, crit. 20/x2, club) or +8 ranged (1d2-3, crit n/a, touch attack, hard-boiled egg/sling); SQ Save vs fear +2; AL NG; SV Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +7; Str 12, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 13, Wis 14, Cha 13. Age 62; Height 3’5”; Weight 100; brown hair and brown eyes.
Languages: Common, Halfling and Dwarven.
Skills (39): Bluff +4 (3), Climb +3 (0), Craft (Brew) +10 (9), Gather Information +7 (3), Hide +6(0), Intimidate +4 (3), Jump +3 (0), Listen +15 (9), Move Silently +4 (0), Profession (Tavern owner) +11 (9), Spot +7 (3).
Feats (3): Alertness, Skill Focus (Gather Information), Weapon Focus (sling).
Possessions: club, Sling, 24 hard boiled eggs (slightly rotten), Padded Armor (usually not worn), 15 gp, 18 sp, 12 cp.

Neddy is a plump, talkative halfling who brews his own beer and enjoys listening in on other people’s coversations. Running a tavern thus comes naturally to him. When Neddy was first learning to brew he experimented with beets. The result was his rather nasty “Neddy’s Special Brew” Anyone drinking a mug of this must make a Fort Save (DC 18) or pass out. Those who do not pass out suffer an automatic –6 to constitution, Intelligence and Wisdom (temporary). They do however gain the benefit of +4 to strength (temporary).

Malloy – Male human Ftr8: CR 8; HD 8d10+16 (60 hp); Init +4 (+4 feat); Spd 30 ft; AC 10 or 14 (+4 Scale mail, touch 10, flatfooted 14, AC check penalty –4); BAB +8; Grapple +10; Atk +12/+7 melee (1d3+2, crit. 20/x2, unarmed) or +12/+7 melee (2d6+3, crit 19-20/x2, masterwork greatsword); face/reach 5 ft/5 ft; AL CG; SV Fort +10, Ref +2, Will +3; Str 16, Dex 11, Con 14, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 8. Age 32; Height 5’11”; Weight 225 lbs.
Languages: Common
Skills (22): Climb +7 (4), Handle Animal +6 (7), Intimidate +10 (11).
Feats (8): Cleave, Greater Weapon Focus (Unarmed), Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, Improved Unarmed Strike, Power Attack, Weapon Focus (Greatsword), Weapon Focus (Unarmed).
Possessions: Scale Mail Armor, Masterwork Greatsword, 3 gp, 7 sp, 5 cp.

Malloy’s not a bad man, he just likes to fight. He likes to fight a lot and frequently does. He rarely attacks out of animosity and is just as happy to meet his match as he is to clobber somebody. Malloy likes Neddy’s Tavern because the regulars there arrange fights between him and newcomers. Malloy has taken the communal aspects of neddy’s Tavern to an extreme and will be beligerent towards anyone who thinks they are too good to pass the “initiation.” Malloy has a deep mistrust of magic-users and will be suspicious and extra-belligerent to anyone in a robe. Once Malloy is a friend however he is less hostile and will be much more playful (though still obnoxious and physical). Malloy is one of the few to regularly order the Special Brew and will sometimes quaff one before a fight (raising his strength if he does not pass out). He will challenge his opponent to do the same.

Let me preface my entry by saying I suxx0r at the latest edition rulz.

29. Neddy’s Tavern
This is a local hangout that can get pretty rowdy at times. It’s a mixed, but mostly Kalen, crowd that likes to talk loud and get into some arm wrestling occasionally. The regular patrons might stare at anyone who seems any bit unfamiliar and there have been a few brawls started by unruly regulars.

There are regular events for each day of the week. First day is a poetry or song contest. Many of the regulars love to make fun at the literary types. It is all in good fun though. Second day is a pie eating contest. The type of pie changes as the availability of the crop. Third day is a beer fest. Locals know to avoid Neddy’s if they aren’t up for at least one or two bouts in a brawl. Fourth day is dart contest. The regulars have a rivalry with other taverns. Neddy’s team is not quite as good. But they celebrate their victories and commiserate their losses with equal amounts of ale. Fifth day is a dance fest. (Very lively stepping and hooting during these nights.) Sixth day is a day of rest. Neddy restocks or cleans the tavern. Seventh day is a day of prayer and community. Before and after services at the local temples the regulars bring their families to the tavern.

The local bully is Malloy (CG, Fighter, Lvl: 7, HP: 51, AC: 14 (+4 Armor / -3 Penalty), Speed: 20ft, Init: +0, Attack: +11/+6 Melee w/ Masterwork Greatsword 2d6+5 Crit 19-20/x2, Saves: +9/+2/+3, Skills: Bluff +2 Climb +10, Intimidate +3 Feats Endurance, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Power Attack, Toughness, Weapon Focus (Greatsword), Weapon Spec (Greatsword), Cleave Str: 16, Dex: 11, Con: 14, Int: 10, Wis: 12, Cha: 8, Age: 32, Items: MW Scale Mail Armor, 3gp, 7sp, 5cp) who doesn’t like strange folk, especially those wearing robes (i.e. nobles and magic-users). He’s more likely to fight an outsider than one of his kinsman. Malloy is also a braggart. He Captains the dart team, although, in truth he is the weakest player.

The owner is a plump halfling named Neddy (NG, Commoner, Lvl: 5, HP: 20, AC: 13 (+1 Size, +1 Dex, +1 Armor), Speed: 20ft, Init: +1 (Dex), Attack: +2 Melee w/ Punching Dagger 1d3+1 Crit x3, Saves: +3/+2/+3, Save vs. Fear: +2, Skills: Listen +8 Hide +8 Climb +3 Jump +3 Move Silently +3 Sense Motive +5, Gather Information + 7 Str: 12, Dex: 14, Con: 12, Int: 13, Wis: 14, Cha: 14, Age: 62, Languages: Common, Halfling, and Dwarven, Items: MW Padded Armor, club 15gp, 18sp, 12cp). ( Psst Ed as a commoner he isn’t prof with the punching dagger and due to size the damage is too high.)

Neddy is a big gossip and if there’s anything worth talking about in the city, he's likely to know about it. If the PCs have any worthy information, Neddy will want to know about it, too. He uses his Sense Motive skill against anyone’s Bluff skill. If it’s good stuff, Neddy gives them some valuable news, too. Neddy also likes to eavesdrop on conversations when someone interesting comes in which includes any strangers. Neddy lives his life thru the exploits of others.

Neddy grew up with his cousins Hamfist and Roldo. His parents passed away early in his youth. Neddy and Hamfist were inseparable. And since Hamfist’s injury Neddy has done everything he can to encourage people to stay at the bed & breakfast. It is a symbiotic relationship as Hamfist in turn sends customers Neddy’s way.

There is now one entry - here's hoping Diaglo does one (or someone else) so I can win this in a fair fight.

Wicht said:

There is now one entry - here's hoping Diaglo does one (or someone else) so I can win this in a fair fight.

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That was a great entry Wicht! Thanks for that.

I agree though that Neddy needs a higher Gather Information check. Sure, he could get a +4 circumstance bonus in his own tavern as could the regulars, but he needs at least five ranks in that skill, giving him a total of at least +7 or so in Gather Information.

Malloy looks pretty good.

I'll be away running games at UberCon this weekend, but back to pick and announce a winner on Monday.

More entries are encouraged! You can always brag that you won the (EN) World's Toughest NPC Writing Contest! Good luck!

okay i know i'm not in the running. but i hope you can use some of the ideas at least.

For Neddy to have a higher gather information skill (5 ranks)(strictly by the rules anyway), he would have to be either a 7th level commoner who had used a lot of his skill points for an off class skill or a character whose first class had been expert. His high listen scores could reflect a practiced eavesdropper though.

diaglo said:

okay i know i'm not in the running. but i hope you can use some of the ideas at least.

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Sure, you're in the running. I think you needed to do the stats better, but I liked the way you tied Hamfist into Neddy's description.

Everyone in the World of Whitethorn is somehow tied to at least one other person or creature. It's like the six degrees of Kevin Bacon.

I like to have an intricate plot and setting where you might know someone who knows someone and as you get more involved in the world, you get a better sense of who's who and can even guess who people know or are related to. It's nice to be a PC, know that most halflings live in Thumble, walk into a tavern run by a halfling, guess right that he knows somebody in Thumble, AND know that somebody! I like things like that.

Wicht said:

For Neddy to have a higher gather information skill (5 ranks)(strictly by the rules anyway), he would have to be either a 7th level commoner who had used a lot of his skill points for an off class skill or a character whose first class had been expert. His high listen scores could reflect a practiced eavesdropper though.

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You're right, so I'm thinking Neddy should be an Exp6 or a Com3/Exp3 or something like that. This is just one of those things that come up while writing/designing. You have an idea and then realize the mechanics don't support it unless you change the idea. *shrugs*

Anyhow, I'll look at all entries, regardless of how class levels are allocated.