[Excuses] Why I can't be a Ceramic (Or Iron) DM

This thread is for us to post our excuses as to why we can't compete. I am hoping that some of the past contestants/judges/winners will also drop in to point out why our logic is flawed.

So, since I am great at coming up with excuses, I will start off.

1) I'm not good enough to compete.

2) I could never beat Piratecat. (Mythago - Rise to the challenge on this excuse. )

3) I can't operate under pressure like that! It takes me too long to write something.

4) I don't have the time to do something like that.

That should be a good start. Please feel free to post your excuses. Maybe we will get some great rebuttals here. My hidden agenda is to draw out some of the people that have already been involved to give the rest of us a better idea of what goes into the competition.

5) i've only been playing for 20 years, no original ideas yet.

6) my brilliance is too briliant to share for free.

7) as soon as i got 72 hours to write something that girl next door would surely notice how great i am.

8) i am waiting for the pro/am level.

9) the prize money corrupts the competition.

10) anabolic steroids ruined the sense of competition.

11) i would hate for my cool friends to find out i am literate.

12) nemmerle is so dreamy, i get nervous when he comes around.

13) the last thing i need is constructive criticism and encouragement.

14) once you are the top gun every two-bit hack in town wants to match keyboards with you.

15) i couldn't stand the burden of all that respect.

16) i'm a writer, not a role model.

17) What is Ceramic DM, cold syrup?
18) I'm using Lynx

2d6 said:

18) I'm using Lynx

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OK, that might actually be a legitimate excuse. It would be hard to participate if you can't see the pictures.

alsih2o said:

12) nemmerle is so dreamy, i get nervous when he comes around.

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Eh? I thought nemmerle was a girl.

ArthurQ said:

Eh? I thought nemmerle was a girl.

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Don't lie.

If you really thought that I am sure you would have harrassed me by now.

19.) Testicles removed in a horrible DMing accident...

20) I'm getting MARRIED, damn you!!! everyone leave me alone! I have things to do! It's one week and I don't have a dress!!!! AAAAUUUUUGGGGHHH!!!!!

(ok, that excuse has worked for everything else lately. )

*sigh*

Edit: 20 Excuses - One came in while I was posting.
Nearly 20 excuses, but no real rebuttals.

Though 13 uses a slight bit of sarcasm to express a valid point.

Several other excuses are amusing and a few work to try to shame you into entering.

Let me tally the rebuttals so far.

- You should enter Ceramic DM if you want constructive criticism and encouragement.


Perhaps my post/topic name was too much tongue-in-cheek? Perhaps the topic has already lived it's life of relevance by just making me question my own self-doubt shielded by a list of conveniently crafted excues? Hmm....

BardStephenFox said:

1) I'm not good enough to compete.

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Yes, you are. Anybody who wants to and can commit the time can compete. There is no quality bar for contestants.

What you really mean is, "Since I'm not good enough to WIN, there's no point in entering." To which I can only say, "If you only do things you're good at, you will learn very slowly."

2) I could never beat Piratecat. (Mythago - Rise to the challenge on this excuse.

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See above. Same excuse, same rebuttal.

I'll go one step further: there are two basic activities involved in learning how to do ANYTHING:

a) practice
b) surround yourself with people who are good at it

Going head-to-head with a better writer is only going to make you a better writer. Now, do you want to be a better writer, or do you want have your ego massaged? Can't have both, my friend, because learning always involves displaying one's ignorance and lack of skill. If you can't hack that, then you don't really want to learn. You're just posing.

3) I can't operate under pressure like that! It takes me too long to write something.

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I guess you'll fail, especially if you spend your 72 hours complaining about how it's not enough time. Here's a thought: spend your time writing, not coming up with reasons why it's impossible.

4) I don't have the time to do something like that.

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Okay, then. Don't do it. And stop complaining.

Hope those didn't sound too harsh.

Coming up with excuses is an art form in and of itself, and the trick here isn't to be presented with compelling rebuttals. I can present rebuttals till I'm blue in the face, I can shoot down every one of your arguments, but it won't do any good if you're just going to come up with more. As long as you're looking for reasons why something's impossible, you are making it impossible. There are ALWAYS reasons why something's too hard, or pointless, or a waste of time. You're either going to do it or you're going to think up excuses. Which is it?