Let's describe some tragic and horrible Critical Failures

In this thread people are talking about the degree to which they are realistic and vivid in their descriptions of combat, and it got me thinking about another time when I try to be creative in my descriptions. That is, when players or monsters have critical failures.

So can we come up with a list of tragic and horrible accidents that happen when someone rolls a 1? I'll offer some, starting with the boring ones, so we can get those out of the way.

-Your bowstring breaks. (ho hum)
-Your blade snaps. (yawn)
-You stumble as you swing your axe, and it bites into your own foot, doing 1d4 points of damags (I do this to the enemy semi-regularly, but haven't done it to a player yet.)
-You slip in the blood & gore on the floor and fall backward, cracking your head on the wall.
-Your spiked chain gets caught on one of your buttons, causing you to grapple yourself.

Over to you....

Buttercup said:

In this thread people are talking about the degree to which they are realistic and vivid in their descriptions of combat, and it got me thinking about another time when I try to be creative in my descriptions. That is, when players or monsters have critical failures.

Click to expand...

Thankfully, our DM gives us players a lot of slack.

I play a gun mage in Kid C's campaign, and in a particularly exciting and climatic battle, I rolled a 1 on an attack roll with the character's pistol. He asked me to roll a craft (firearms) roll and I rolled a 1 again. The entire group gasped, fearing the worst, but he was merciful and made the pistol simply jam.

Sometimes just the act of rolling a 1 is dramatic enough.

weapon becomes tangled in armor or clothes, no dex bonus next round

jarring blow- weapon hits floor/wall hard, -2 str next round

gore on weapon handle -2 on next attack

drop something hanging on belt, out of pack

spellbook blow, roll d4 to determine number of damage pages..

I remember back in the day, I used to use the table out of "Best of Dragon" called "Good hits, Bad Misses" or something like that, and it was basically a collection of critical hits and misses. I think one of the funniest moments that happened to one of my groups, was they had a knife-thrower, and he was being rushed by two goblins. So he whips out a pair of knives and I tell him to roll his attack.

A 1.

Okay, I tell him to roll on the % chart... oy. (Rolls "Hit Self")

Okay. Well, roll damage. (4pts)

His second knife...

A 1..

Okay.. I have him roll AGAIN on the % chart. Same result. Same #!

I had him roll damage, while I started the goblin attacks.

So the goblins come up to flank him, and they both roll 1's.

Both roll "hit ally - double damage".

I look at the players and go.. "Here's what just happened. He throws one knife straight down into his foot. The second knife, due to the pain of the first throw, also ends up in his other foot. As the goblins rush him and swing their swords, he bends down to retrieve his weapons from his boot-tops, and the goblins impale each other as their swords cross over his head."

I swear this actually happened.

my opinion is that if you are only rewarded for a natural 20 upon a confirmation. then you should also only be penalized upon confirmation of a natural 1. the automatically hit or miss should be applied on the 20 and 1 but then you have to confirm wheather you critically hit or miss. no one seems to do this. but it seems fair to me. people seem to aplly critical miss on a 1 but make it so you have to confirm a critical hit.

DiFier said:

my opinion is that if you are only rewarded for a natural 20 upon a confirmation. then you should also only be penalized upon confirmation of a natural 1. the automatically hit or miss should be applied on the 20 and 1 but then you have to confirm wheather you critically hit or miss. no one seems to do this. but it seems fair to me. people seem to aplly critical miss on a 1 but make it so you have to confirm a critical hit.

Click to expand...

This is how I play it in my campaigns. Gerad, our fighter, always tests out his new tactics this way.

Player: "I'll (improved) bull rush the remaining dark elf." [Rolls 1, followed by a natural 2 confirmation]

DM: "Okay, you charge forward, but tangle your feet up in the attempt. You slide forward, landing prone at the feet of the (rogue) dark elf."

DiFier said:

my opinion is that if you are only rewarded for a natural 20 upon a confirmation. then you should also only be penalized upon confirmation of a natural 1. the automatically hit or miss should be applied on the 20 and 1 but then you have to confirm wheather you critically hit or miss. no one seems to do this. but it seems fair to me. people seem to aplly critical miss on a 1 but make it so you have to confirm a critical hit.

Click to expand...

As with theRuinedOne, this is also how we do it in our group.

- The character misses so bad that he falls into a lit fireplace, burns for 2d4 damage, and starts to cry.

- The character misses so bad he has to take his next level as a commoner, he's that bad.

- The character misses so bad he's actually saved from the next strike that would hit him, because his worst strike evar and that strike annihilate each other. It was just horrible. His sword is gone and his pants drop.

- The character misses so bad he doesn't even try to make the strike, but flees running, taking appropriate AoO's. He's never seen again. His pants drop. Afterwards no one even remembers the adventurer or anything he did, because he's erased from collective memory. He was just that bad.

Faulty latex product results in unexpected and sudden change in lifestyle.

That was almost nine years ago today....


Oh, heh DND critical failures.

Barbarian dwarf is the second to the last conscious player standing and is facing some still serious opposition. The other remaining character is a mage who has been staying clear of the battle and has nothing but a few ranged attacks left. All other players are in the negatives and fading fast. Said dward is down to 2 hitpoints and chugs his last cure serious in hopes to finish off the enemy and help his fallen comrades. The tension mounts ans the player rolls three dice...

and they all come up ones.

Probably had to be there but man that was funny.

We don't have critical failures in my group. Considering the frequency with which we roll 1's, actually implementing critical failures would probably result in a TPK.