Please critique this monster

GHOUL GOLEM
Hit Dice: 19d10 +30 (136 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 27 (-1 size, +2 Dex, +16 natural), touch 8,
flat-footed 25
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/+28
Attack: Gauntlet +12 (3d6 +11)
Full Attack: Gauntlet +12 (3d6 +11) and 1 slam +12 (2d10 +11)
Space/Reach: 10 ft. \ 10ft.
Special Attacks: Breath Weapon
Special Qualities: Construct traits, damage reduction 10/silver, Darkvision 60 ft., immunity to magic, low-light vision, corpse battery, regeneration 10
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +6
Abilities: Str 33, Dex 15, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
Skills: -
Feats: -
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or gang (2-4)
Challenge Rating:
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 19-24 HD (Large); 25-54 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: -

This creature appears to be an oversized flesh golem if it wasn’t for the large gauntlet on his wrist and the undead corpse strapped to its’ back.

The Ghoul Golem was constructed using some of the vilest experimental surgery known. Just the will and immoral attitude of someone capable to create such a monstrosity should be enough not to tangle with it.
The ghoul golem stands just over 11 feet tall, with muscles rippling all over its’ body. Some muscles on the golems’ body are exposed and covered in armor, while other portions are just bare skin which is a grey, decomposing color.

Breath Weapon: Necrotic Gas 20 ft. cone Fort Save DC 23, 3d6 Con initial, 1d6 Con secondary. Gas causes the flesh to rot and produce rot grubs within 1 day if not treated. Heal check DC 17.
Gauntlet: Any large melee weapon grafted to the arm of the creature. Common weapons are polearm blades along the forearm, battle axes, daggers for fingers and spikes around the entire hand, and that’s just on one appendage
Corpse Battery: The harness that fits onto the back of the creature allows it to use its’ breath weapon so many times in a day and whether its’ regeneration is active or not. Elimination of the corpse battery is definite elimination of the creature.

Looks like a pretty cool beasty you've got there. I really like the idea of the corpse battery. One thing that was a little unclear was whether the 136 hp included the battery or not, and if not how many hp the battery itself has.

Myrddin ap Taliesen said:

Looks like a pretty cool beasty you've got there. I really like the idea of the corpse battery. One thing that was a little unclear was whether the 136 hp included the battery or not, and if not how many hp the battery itself has.

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Thanx for realizing that for me. The casing is made of iron, so all you have to do is bust that open and the creature can be hit flat-footed. The creature is either a vampire, ghoul, ghast, or wight. I have a feeling that would change the CR, which is what I'm really needing help with. Can you help?

Couple of mechanical problems. Advancement should start at HD+1, not at the HD. Touch AC should be 11. The Base Attack bonus doesn't look right. Should be way higher for a 19 HD golem. Golem's use Cleric BAB, so base should be 3/4 HD. The saves don't look right, either. Breath Weapon DC should be equal to 10+1/2 HD +primary attribute - usually either charisma or con, both of which are negligible in this case, so it should be 19, not 23.

I would list this as about a CR 13 creature or so. I would just drop the concept of the corpse battery. It's kind of non-standard. Just say that they can breath once every 1d4 rounds. To keep the battery implies that you'd have to give the thing hardness, hit points, a special AC, etc. I wouldn't worry with that. It just overly complicates it.

But if he gets rid of the corpse battery, he changes the whole aspect of the golem. It kills the flavor.

I agree, in fact, it might be better to have the different batteries give the golem different effects. A vampire would give it the fast healing, troll (if you wanted) culd give it the regeneration effect and so on. I think there's alot you could do with this little nasty!

If you don't like the battery being on the back you could incorporate it into the body. Maybe, bundled into the chest cavity.

Hi!

I like the idea of the corpse battery. The standard DR for constructs is adamantine instead of silver however.

Kodam

Insert: Large Construct

Hit Dice: 19d10 +30 (136 hp)

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135 hp

Initiative: +1

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Dex of 15: +2
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)

Base Attack/Grapple: +12/+28

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BAB is +14

Attack: Gauntlet +12 (3d6 +11)
Full Attack: Gauntlet +12 (3d6 +11) and 1 slam +12 (2d10 +11)

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BAB +14 plus Str bonus of +11 minus size penalty of -1 gives an attack bonus of +24 for the gauntlet

Saves: Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +6

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Base Ref is +6 and there is a +2 Dex bonus so Ref save is +8

Abilities: Str 33, Dex 15, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1

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Are you sure about the high Dex? Str is a bit high, too, IMO.

its’

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Breath Weapon: Necrotic Gas 20 ft. cone Fort Save DC 23, 3d6 Con initial, 1d6 Con secondary. Gas causes the flesh to rot and produce rot grubs within 1 day if not treated. Heal check DC 17.

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Treated? Is this a disease or a poison or something else? I think you should clarify this (although I do like it!).

Gauntlet: Any large melee weapon grafted to the arm of the creature. Common weapons are polearm blades along the forearm, battle axes, daggers for fingers and spikes around the entire hand, and that’s just on one appendage

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If that's the case, perhaps the damage given above should reflect the weapon used?

Corpse Battery: The harness that fits onto the back of the creature allows it to use its’ (sic) breath weapon so many times in a day and whether its’ (sic)regeneration is active or not. Elimination of the corpse battery is definite elimination of the creature.

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How do you eliminate the corpse battery?
Normally when a creature has regeneration there will be a separate paragraph describing what causes the creature normal damage. Personally, I would drop the regeneration because it is a construct and only allow it to be damaged by certain things (eg: holy or silver weapons, clerical turning [say, doing 1d6 points of damage per HD turned, cure spells etc...).

You rotten, lazy, no-good monster! You call yourself a ghoul golem? Hah! What's the deal - can't make up your mind about whether you'd rather be an undead or a construct? Figures. You've always been a fence-sitter, unable to make a decision if your unlife depended on it. Maybe if you were a little more aggressive, less of a wimp, you could find a job instead of sitting around the house whining, "Why can't I kill anything? Why do bad things happen to good monsters? Why doesn't mommy love me?" Well cry me a river, you worthless pile of decaying body parts! I don't know the last time you--

Oh.

So "critique" isn't the same as being critical?