Teaching the spousal unit D&D

So who's taught their spouse or significant other D&D, and had it stick?

I'm getting ready to try. My wife came along to our last gaming session, and sat through the first hour or so before heading off to her quilt class. I'd told her on a number of occasions in the past that she was welcome to come along and play, but she'd never taken the offer particularly seriously. So I asked her want she thought of what she saw:

SU- "It was very confusing; I couldn't follow what was going on."

OS- "Well, you're coming in in the middle of the story, see ..." proceeding to explain what has happened in the campaign to this point.

SU- "That's strange yet interesting. I still don't think I could follow what was going on around the table. It's like you were speaking a foreign language."

OS- "Well, it does take some getting used to, but it makes more sense once you're actually involved and playing. You're welcome to try. [One of our players] hadn't played any D&D before joining our group mid-campaign, and has picked it up pretty fast."

SU- "I still think it would be hard to pick up around the table. I'd feel silly not knowing what everything meant."

OS- "Well, Iwouldn't just throw you in cold. We'd run a few sessions on our own so you could learn the rules and get used to your character."

SU- (interested) "Really? You can play with just two people? ..."

The hook was set, though I didn't realize it. I was travelling for work for a couple of weeks, and just got back home the other night. Last night, as I'm flipping through a copy of module U3 she bought me on eBay, she asks:

"So when are we going to play?"

Shock. Awe. She's actually interested. I'd figured there was a possibility -- she's a fantasy/sci-fi fan, after all, read tons of the original Dragonlance novels, and even played a bit of 1E back in junior high (though she claims she doesn't remember much of it, I have a character sheet with her name on it). The lure of uninterrupted time with hubby may be a big part of the attraction -- but I want to make it fun, too.

So we're going to try it out tonight. Based on some talking we'd done, the character she describes that she'd like to play sounds like an elf druid. Given the number shock of d20, I figured I'd run a simple scenario or two from the D&D Adventure Game to get her familiar with the basic stats and concepts using a pre-generated character, and then we'd roll her own up and go from there.

I've taught a number of others to play the game, and in fact Arendel's player in our current campaign (see diaglo's story hour) was a D&D newbie when he joined our group, and successfully survived playing a druid. So I know I can get the concept across -- but somehow, teaching my wife seems a bit more intimidating.

Any suggestions from those who have succeeded?

You know, sometime in the next few weeks, WotC will be releasing a Basic D&D box set designed to ease new players into the game by using a simplified version of the rules. It could potentially be a good tool to teach D&D to a spouse.

http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=products/dndacc/966470000

I taught my girlfriend to play years ago. She grew to love it so much that she married me as to always to have a steady GM.

And good idea on the 1-on-1 sessions first. We enjoyed 1-on-1 roleplaying long before she found out about D&D.

But seriously, RPGs are something we both enjoy, and consider it true quality time together. We spend more time together than most married couples we know.

Also, as a couple, we're met a ton of really nice people in the area who play (and Pirate Cat).

Best of luck to you.

Gospog said:

Also, as a couple, we're met a ton of really nice people in the area who play (and Pirate Cat).

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So PirateCat isn't a really nice person?

Dark Jezter said:

So PirateCat isn't a really nice person?

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Since KidCthulu's his better half, making him the worse halfwe can likely conclude that he's not.

Good general suggestion on the D&D Basic Game (I'll be picking it up once it's out) -- though the D&D Adventure Game accomplishes the same thing in a somewhat less sexy package. I'm hoping the Basic Game becomes the set of choice to introduce new players to the game, although given the history of previous boxed sets, that isn't terribly likely. I don't think there's been one yet that has recaptured the success of the pink box D&D Basic Set (but one can hope).

That is great news, Olgar. Even if it does not work out, it will be fun for you guys. I'd be thrilled to have her join us, although throwing her into the middle of a campaign over 2 years old, where the characters are 10th level, might be tough on a newbie. Of course, over the past couple of sessions I have developed the theory that you are looking for a TPK, to go out with a bang. Then we could all start at 1st level.

My wife has absolutely no interest, and I doubt she ever will. I keep trying to tempt her, since I have played a little with the boys and it would make a great family game night. Heck, once the boys are old enough we could have a standard 4-person party plus DM right in the family.

And as a side note, but you don't have to tell here, Arendel's player is a big computer gamer, and has played Neverwinter Nights and the like, so he at least had that exposure. Still, with her reading gaming fiction she should have a pretty could feel for it.

Olgar Shiverstone said:

"So when are we going to play?"
Shock. Awe. She's actually interested.

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Well, I'd say she's interested if she asked to play. That's a very good sign ideed.

In my case, it's not a SU, but a female friend that I've been trying to get to play (D&D). I am absolutely convinced that she would love it!

Olgar Shiverstone said:

I figured I'd run a simple scenario or two from the D&D Adventure Game to get her familiar with the basic stats and concepts using a pre-generated character, and then we'd roll her own up and go from there.(...)
Any suggestions from those who have succeeded?

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Using a pre-generated character is a good idea. I was myself considering making little index cards for the powers the character has access to, I thought it would be easier for her to view her options (laying them in front, on the table).

When you've been playing for so many years, it's easy to forget how complicated those rules can be at first. I mean, they've become pretty familiar over the years. I'd say simplify as much as possible. And I don't think rail-roading a newbie is such a bad thing. She'll have enough to figure out, so I was planning on a very basic plot and story myself.

I guess what intimidates you the most though is the fact that you really want her to like the game. Take it easy, I'm sure it will go fine!
Good Luck!

JoeBlank said:

I keep trying to tempt her, since I have played a little with the boys and it would make a great family game night. Heck, once the boys are old enough we could have a standard 4-person party plus DM right in the family.

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Joe, that reminds me of the current strips on Dorktower!!!

I just know my brother will be doing that with his family, once his son is older.

This is simple.

First, you buy her a chainmail bikini. Once she's properly outfitted everthing flows naturally.






Actually, I have some useful suggestions, assuming that my first one isn't what you were after. I'll try and post them later but I'm in a bit of a rush to pack for an out of town trip. Just wanted to get subscribed to the thread.

A couple of months ago, I taught my wife, and a 48 year old newbie how to play. I used the 1980 basic set, however.

3.5 is probably down the road. For now though, they are having a great time terrorizing the Caves of Chaos.