Cancelling a session / not attending a session.

[Aberzanzorax]

When is it ok for a DM/GM to cancel a session? (What reasons/excuses/etc would you find reasonable as a player?)

When is it ok for a player to miss a session?

Are there different standards? Is that a problem or perfectly reasonable?


What about "degree" of missing...number of times...flimsiness of excuses...short notice versus saying they just can't make it when first scheduled, etc etc etc?

 

[interwyrm]

I'd say it's roughly the same as canceling or not showing up for any other group event... like a BBQ or a basketball game. Once in a while is ok, but if it happens often you might start looking for someone who is more reliable.

 

[Raven Crowking]

Bingo. Nailed it in one.

 

[Desdichado]

Yeah; I don't see how gaming differs from any other type of social engagement. Don't be flaky. It's rude. Also, gaming isn't serious business. Be understanding of others. This kind of stuff comes nearly intuitively to most people.

 

[S'mon]

As I indicated in the other thread, for me it's a grave sin for the GM to cancel.

I'm married, I get a (somewhat grudging) allowance of 2 days gaming/month, advance scheduled. No GM, that's half my gaming for the month gone. I have a 1.5 hour round trip to the venue. Other players have more.

Looking back on the past 26 years GMing, I'm proud to say that AFAICR I've never cancelled a game.

If a player cancels, the game can go on. My last game Sunday, a player cancelled because her father was visiting on a layover between flights. A good reason though it was a shame as I'd prepped a big send-off for this player, it being her final scheduled session. Still the game went on, sans that encounter. The main effect was that the group lacked her contribution, down from 7 to 6 PCs with no Rogue and now only 1 Striker. They really struggled, and ended up losing 2 PCs. Still, they can always make more.

 

[Aberzanzorax]

I agree that it's like MANY other social events, but not ANY.


The barbecue analogy is a prime example of an even it is NOT like. A basketball game (that requires a certain minimum number of people) is a closer analogy. This is a "team game" to a degree...to the point that not enough people really means a poor or nonexistent game.

For DMs, I think there is (should) be a higher standard, as should there be for the host of a barbecue. (If that person cancels, the whole event is shot). This is similarly true if, for some reason, a player and not the DM is hosting the game at their house....in which case there are really two hosts.

For players, it depends on the type of game. If a story rich game driven by character background and plot, not having a player really detracts from the fun of all. If it's hack and slash, and the player of the priest doesn't show, the others could be in for a tough time (even WITH DM adjustments).


I'll add that, unlike some other activities, D&D can require a lot of prep time/investment outside the game...time which then becomes wasted if the game is cancelled or a certain player does not show up. I am hard pressed to think of an appropriate comparison for this at the moment.



ALL THAT SAID: I absolutely don't hold gaming on some high pedestal, nor is it a grievous sin to cancel occasionally. I just think that many of the previous answers don't address some of the additional complexities in gaming that are not present in, say, a backyard barbecue.

 

[Oryan77]

When it is ok to not show up for a game:

1. You've been abducted by aliens.
2. Your witness protection family is moving.
3. You are picking up the over-sized check awarded to you from your lottery winnings.
4. You've been arrested.
5. You found out Darth Vader is your dad and you have to deal with that.
6. A really hot chick asked you out on a date.
7. You asked a really ugly chick out on a date.
8. Cylons nuked the game room.
9. An 18-wheeler full of good beer tipped over in front of you on the way to the game.
10. You have to drop the ring off in Mt. Doom.

Other than this, I can't think of any reasons why anyone can't make it to a game.

 

[amerigoV]

As DM, I cancelled a session due to a date with a hot redhead. One player did not get the message and showed up shortly before the lady...he understood when I kicked him to the curb.


I agree it is more like a weekly basketball game in terms of obligation and communication with the group.

 

[awesomeocalypse]

my group tends to take the tack that "real life trumps gaming, but gaming trumps other fun or laziness." In other words, if your brother you haven't seen in years is in town, that trumps gaming. If you have a huge, massive unforseen project come up at work that needs to be dealt with, that trumps gaming. If someobody dies or you get seriously ill, that trumps gaming. If your wife leaves you or something comes up and you have to watch your kid unpextedly, that trumps gaming.

Things that don't trump gaming are when the player or GM simply decides they'd have more fun playing basketball or WoW that day, or that its rainy outside and they aren't really feeling it, or their favorite team is in the playoffs.

I mean, obviously if someone schedules a trip to disney months in advance or something thats okay, but generally we ask that if possible people avoid scheduling things they have control over on the same day as our games, and that they prioritize gaming over spur of the moment decisions about what feels fun at the moment. As the poster above me said, this is closer to a team sport than it is to a barbecue, not having certain people show up can seriously impact the game.

 

[lkjopajdowma]

My group will still play if one person can't make it, usually (unless, of course, it's the DM). I will miss sessions, or if I'm the DM, cancel sessions because I do have other interests aside from RPGing, and sometimes those will take precedence due to the fact we game weekly, and those events don't happen on a regular basis. Usually at least one other person in my group is interested in attending the other event anyway, so it's not like I'm the only one missing it.