Cancelling a session / not attending a session.

[Nagol]

I already said that in the other thread. You do know that after a week with flu you're no longer contagious, right? I played in a game last year where the GM had flu, none of us caught anything.

The CDC disagrees with you. CDC - Seasonal Influenza (Flu) - Q & A: Seasonal Influenza (Flu): The Disease

How long is a person with flu virus contagious?
The period when an infected person is contagious depends on the age and health of the person. Studies show that most healthy adults may be able to infect others from 1 day prior to becoming sick and for 5-7 days after they first develop symptoms. Some young children and people with weakened immune systems may be contagious for longer than a week.

Most healthy adults are infectious for a week. That means some lie outside that range.

 

[catsclaw227]

I host games and I have a wife and toddler daughter. If a player showed up with a potentially contagious condition, I would be upset that he didn't let me know first. I could have asked my wife to take the baby somewhere or even tried to find another place to play. Or, most likely, asked the player if he/she was willing to take the game off and join us next time.

As a DM, I have canceled games for work related issues, being sick, or for family emergencies that popped up, but I try to give as much advance notice as I can.

Also, if there are football playoffs coming up and my team may be playing, then I let the group know and we try not to schedule games for that time, instead maybe watching the playoffs together.

I think it's a common courtesy thing, mostly, but also to remember with D&D there is more than just my schedule. The schedules of the players get thrown out of whack if a game needs rescheduling, too. I have fallen into the hair-pulling shell game that comes from rescheduling a game with busy adults with families. It's not fun.

 

[Glyfair]

Assume the game is Saturday. Anyone can cancel for any reason at all until Wednesday or Thursday without hard feelings, on occasion anyway. Players I figure get an extra day. No need to explain "can't make it" will do.

This is one thing missed a lot here. Advance notice allows much leeway, in my opinion. Giving a week's notice gets a lot of leeway. Canceling the previous day or early the day of the game has fewer acceptable reasons. Canceling a game (or your presence at a game) while players are on the way to the game have the least leeway.

Personally, I have found this varies from group to group. Most of my groups are adults with busy lives (and sometime busy gaming schedules as well). Our groups plan that into our schedule. A schedule we tend to try to get is a weekly game, with the assumption that 1 week a month will be canceled.

 

[Desdichado]

What, your BBQ guests pay you for the food they eat? Sunk costs fallacy, Hobo - you already spent that money.

Yes, but I wouldn't have if they hadn't cancelled on me.

It's not a fallacy, it's a truism of normal, regular human interaction. It's common courtesy to give people enough advance warning that they don't sink costs on you that they then have to throw away. And if you abuse common courtesy often enough, you find yourself shut out of social interactions after a while.

Whereas in your example, there aren't even any costs, sunken or otherwise, to consider. So why it is that the GM has a "duty" to run, unless physically unable to do so, is beyond me. Gaming ain't that serious.

 

[Turtlejay]

My family is #1, so even if their reasoning for me needing to stay seems petty to others, they take priority.

Case in point, my preggo wife had a last minute breakdown and wanted me to not go to the game, literally as I walked out the door. And it isn't like we cuddled and watched the Notebook instead of me going to the game. . .she just wanted me around. I trolled facebook and played League of Legends. I felt like a schmoe for cancelling last minute, but my family is a priority, so I did it.

Personally, the reason for not gaming matters little, I just prefer notice *if it is possible*. More notice is more opportunity to get something else going, either a one-shot or an email to everyone to not bother driving out.

Jay

 

[Vyvyan Basterd]

Of course it does. If you hold a backyard bbq, you buy and prepare a certain amount of food with the expectation that the people who said they were going to come would, in fact, come. If they don't show or cancel at the last minute, you're out actual money.

Every BBQ I've attended could feed ten times the amount of people who show up. The precision of a few no-showers really never factors into it. And as others have said...yummy leftovers.

If I was angling for a date with a hot redhead (pending my wife's approval of course), I'd do my best to schedule it on a night when I wasn't GMing. If that's the only night she was available, I'd be willing to cancel the game (with as much notice to the players as possible).

If the hot redhead in question was Christina Hendricks, I'd be willing to cancel Christmas.

This man gets it! +1!

Edit: **You must spread some experience around before giving it to Rel again.**

My wife needs to let me date more hot redheads.

I really only get annoyed when someone scoffs at their committment because it's "just gaming." Those who keep me in the loop as most-time GM and full-time host as to whether they can show up or not are appreciated. I don't really start to care whether people are going to make it or not until we are at risk of dropping below three players. And then only because I would have rather made other plans. I have 3-4 players who show up regulary and respect me enough to let me know when they can't make it. When one or two of them are going to be out I'm usually forced to track down an answer from the 1-2 less regular members to make sure we have enough people.

 

[Ourph]

When is it ok for a DM/GM to cancel a session? (What reasons/excuses/etc would you find reasonable as a player?)

I would find anything from "I'm dead" to "I don't want to" reasonable. I wouldn't be mad at the latter. Although, if the "I don't want to" excuse came up frequently (or the "I'm dead" excuse came up at all) I might talk to the group about someone else taking over as DM.

 

[Alan Shutko]

We play in a regular schedule. Depending on the game, it's weekly, biweekly, or twice monthly. Sometimes, I know I'll be absent way in advance, and I'll cancel with no qualms. I'm going to be missing a few sessions this year because I'm leaving town for vacation. We're also missing a game night so I can attend an event with my girlfriend for her boss. With a few weeks notice, it's easy for people to make other plans.

When it gets close to the event, I think it's inconsiderate if I cancel for a reason within my control. Work can trump a game (I spent much of one session on a production support call), as could illness or family emergency. I would not cancel just because a few friends decided to hit the bars or see a movie.

Consistency is probably most important thing. If you're usually reliable, an off night can be forgiven, whatever the reason. In my book, the DM who has run a campaign every week for two years has earned right to be excused for knocking off a night, for whatever reason. On the flip side, I disinvited a player from my game because he was consistently canceling the day before the game if he had any "better" offer of social activity.

 

[S'mon]

Right. Because when I'm not enjoying the game, my players are still likely to enjoy it. Not.

It's just like driving when you're sick - you're not supposed to do it because pretty much every sickness affects your concentration, makes you more irritable, and, overall, reduces your mental capabilities.

The game I played in with the sick GM wasn't as good as if he hadn't been sick, but it was certainly better than him cancelling. And oviously he knew he wasn't contagious anymore, he wasn't 'coughing and hacking'.

 

[S'mon]

My family is #1, so even if their reasoning for me needing to stay seems petty to others, they take priority.

Case in point, my preggo wife had a last minute breakdown and wanted me to not go to the game, literally as I walked out the door. And it isn't like we cuddled and watched the Notebook instead of me going to the game. . .she just wanted me around. I trolled facebook and played League of Legends. I felt like a schmoe for cancelling last minute, but my family is a priority, so I did it.

Yeah, I didn't get any gaming for most of my wife's pregnancy and about 9 months after the birth, when AIR I had a couple games, then I got started again biweekly 13 months after the birth.