How keen is too keen?

[Kzach]

So, I have an advertisement up to recruit D&D players. In it I ask for thirty-plus folk as a preference and maturity as a requirement. I got an email from an interested party saying they were twenty-three. This I don't have a problem with, but the maturity aspect... well... let's just say there is keen and then there is keen.

This dude comes across as quite immature and extremely desperate to play. I've already received three emails from him and the last was asking why I hadn't replied. I got his first email late last night and it's mid-afternoon now.

My gut reaction is to say no to this guy but I can tell he'll take that badly. Then again, he could just be coming across badly in email and maybe he'd be a good player, I don't know, but if I open up the door to meet him in person, it'll just make it all the more awkward to shut him out later on.

For the record, I'm trying to create a long-term, stable, regular gaming group with similar play-styles to my own. So, should I refuse this dude now or meet him first and decide later?

EDIT: Just for clarity, I should point out that there is an interview process in place here. I just feel bad about saying no to someone who is so keen and doesn't actually seem like a bad person.

 

[MichaelSomething]

Well you could simply say you would like to do an "interview" with him to see if he would be a good fit for your group. If he's not up to slack, simply use the info from the interview to make up a campaign concept that he'll abhor and pitch that as your campaign at the end.

 

[doctorhook]

The briefest advice I can offer is that if this guy is making you this uncomfortable via email, you definitely shouldn't game with him. He's probably just a bit tactless, but what if he's actually as desperate (or worse) as he seems via email? You don't want this guy in your house if he's already making you feel weird. If possible, you don't even want him knowing your full name.

Tell him that you found someone else, and that you're sorry you can't help him. Hopefully he'll leave it at that.

Go with your gut, Kzach!

 

[Hussar]

Yeah, while I can empathise with people who want to get into games, I think we all have to recognize that we're going to spend a great deal of our free time with this person. And the reverse is true as well. I really don't think it's too much to ask to have an interview process. If you're playing with friends, obviously it doesn't matter, but, my free time is way to valuable to me to spend it with people I don't like.

I know for my online game advertisements, I've become a complete nazi prick when weeding out potential players. No soft pedaling, no bones about it. I've tried being the warm, fuzzy, welcoming person who will take all and sundry and paid for it with many, MANY hours of frustrating gaming.

Not any more. New players are told up front the rules and I don't make any allowances for new players for a few months. You don't show up to the game and can't be bothered leaving a message first? Bye bye. You bitch and whine about the game when I've been absolutely up front about what the game is? Bye Bye.

After that first period, I get a whole lot more relaxed, but, unfortunately, I've had to deal with far to many knuckle dragging social troglodytes for me to have any patience anymore.

 

[Dice4Hire]

I always meet new potential players away from the house before inviting them to the group.

I would expect anyone considering me for a game to do the same.

Also, it is just safer and a lot easier to ignore someone if they do not know where you live.

 

[Kzach]

Oh there's an interview process. I should edit that into the OP. This is an online advertisement and any replies I get I set up a meet & greet at a gaming store with gaming tables. When someone is aggressive or a douchebag or it's obvious to both of us that we're not getting along in game or out, then I have no problem confronting them and throwing them out (twice I had to do it physically ).

The problem with this guy is that he seems so badly to want to play. I get the impression he's probably a bit introverted and latched on to RPG's enthusiastically as a social outlet. I'm sure he's probably a nice guy, just that his desperation is really obvious. I'd post the emails but I think that's kinda personal.

I'd feel like I was kicking a puppy.

 

[Theo R Cwithin]

Well, you did specify in the ad that you prefer 30+ year old gamers. That alone should be sufficient to turn him down, or at a minimum put him on the "Don't call us, well call you" list.

Also keep in mind that letting him in might impact others' decisions to join your game. The age preference is very likely a selling point in some potential gamers' eyes. There's a slight risk of chasing off more mature gamers by letting the youngster in.

 

[DrunkonDuty]

I'd meet with him. Somewhere neutral and far from my actual home, just to be safe. It's not like you have to spend much time talking to him if you don't like him. Just have a coffee and a chat, it's not like it's a committment.

cheers.

 

[Dandu]

I would do the above while carrying a cellular phone, signal flares, folding knife, mace, pepper spray, taser and a .38 caliber revolver.

 

[Michael Silverbane]

Meet with him as normal. If he bothers you, tell him about it. If you feel bad for not bringing him into your group, tell him about that, too.

If you can, find a way to set him up with some other gamers that might be more his speed. As I understand it, you know quite a lot of the gamers in the area, from having had many games in the past...