Right, but again, we're the new guys here, and we aren't familiar with those rules or have had the time to experience that. This is unfair to both sides, again.
Nor did you keep your mouth shut and observe to see how things work around here and then attempt to post like the locals. As most new people do as lurkers and then first time posters when a topic strikes their interest or they have a question they feel the community can answer.
Instead, it seems as if you came on here as if this was "the internet" and did your own thing. EN's on the internet. But it is NOT the internet. I observe each forum I am interested in before I post, and I try to post to their standard or better if I can (doesn't mean I'm good at it).
Bear in mind, my thoughts on the matter aren't official, fair or well put.
Okay, I'm a mental health professional. How do you feel about my comments in that thread now?
Would you really challenge the findings of 3 professionals (apparently 3 pros reviewed her from the article I didn't read in that thread)? Is Mental Health in such condition that quality standards among such people varies? I really have no idea.
In a parallel case, I have advised Morrus on his current IT project when I raised some questions he didn't understand, that his developer better be able to answer them (to him), else he has a bad developer problem brewing.
It's possible such a behavior is rude, but I did couch it in qualifying terms, instead of saying a guy I didn't meet who has information I haven't seen given to him is bad.
Which as I said, it's unfair to both sides. Yeah, you've been here longer, but assuming that people will just come in an take your word at face value when you won't take their's is a bit naive.
That right there is a problem. If you can't be fair, you can't expect that others will be able to acclimate to the social rules you have around here. You are basically saying "These are the rules you have to follow when dealing with us. We have a different set of rules we are going to follow when dealing with you."
Do you want to join the secret order of secret stuff or not? Membership is neither worth it nor not worth it. It simply is a matter of being on the inside or outside of a house on a row of houses. There are plenty to choose from, and you can be happy in this one, or you can choose another. It's OK.
I've described some tricks I've learned to assimilate or blend in. Human behavior isn't always fair, especially with regards to existing groups and newcomers. I'm not a sociologist, but the behavior jives with what I've read.
I got no other advice. I appreciate that Zombie recognized I was suggesting to move off the point of the woman who killed her bad husband that nobody agrees was bad or not. And that somebody else re-newed the conversation a post later so it spun on again. I don't think anybody was being bad, but a dead horse was continuing to suffer.
Each one of us can't control the other. I can't make anybody follow the rules I suggested. I'm advising that if you retain the clarity, when you spot the situation, that's when YOU can change what your doing. On EN world, such situations aren't usually baiting or trolling. It's more like a behavioral quirk kicks in and we get stuck debating something that we should really just gracefully back out of. I think it is one of the keys that makes any of us argue too long or too hard, instead of listen or discuss.
So to heck with fair. Just do the best you can to be polite, understanding and diplomatic, and let the other guy then stand out as the problem. If he goes overboard, that'll be on him. If he just missteps a little, well hopefully you both can avoid that trigger next time for his own sake.