D&D 5E DMG: Anyone out there willing to give my product a review?

[Giant2005]

The one and only review on a product of mine was absolutely slammed, and as a consequence it seems that it is doing considerably worse than similar products of what I consider to be a much lower quality.

Although my impression of my work is obviously heavily biased, so it could very well be that the quality really is much lower than what I consider it to be. What I am asking for is fair ratings (you don't have to leave a full review unless you want to) - read the content and rate it with whatever you consider fair. If it turns out that the previous rating is actually the general perception, then so be it.

Here is the product in question. If it is of a subject matter that interests you enough to be willing to go to the effort of leaving a fair rating, then let me know and we can arrange a time for me to drop the price to PWYW, so you can get the product for free.

 

[AaronOfBarbaria]

I've not made purchase of the product in question, so I've only got the preview to base my statements on. As such, I won't be addressing any of the game stuff of the product.

However, I will give you my honest opinion as a graphic designer and reader of gaming materials:

You've got what appears to be six different page backgrounds in the preview alone, that's extremely busy for a 17 page document. The differing page looks might add something to a larger book where each look can be used to mark a particular chapter, but when the look changes so frequently it detracts from the appearance of quality - what should look very well done, as each page background is individually well put-together, instead looks like a chaotic mess.

Further, some of those backgrounds actually make reading the text over them more difficult - in fact, it actually seems to be that only the background used on page 10 doesn't interfere with the readability of some portion of text.

And last, the art; excellent selections, but the hard contrast of each art piece's edges and the page backgrounds compounds the busy look and makes the product look less well put-together. Changing the page backgrounds to something more subtle (like page the 10 background) might be all that is needed to smooth out the issue, though I'd probably soften the edges of the art with some transparency if it were me assembling the book. I'd also roughly double the distance between any text and any art from what you have in the layout now, but that is just my preference.

 

[Giant2005]

You've got what appears to be six different page backgrounds in the preview alone, that's extremely busy for a 17 page document. The differing page looks might add something to a larger book where each look can be used to mark a particular chapter, but when the look changes so frequently it detracts from the appearance of quality - what should look very well done, as each page background is individually well put-together, instead looks like a chaotic mess.

Thanks for the criticisms!
I really don't have an eye for art, so everything you said is something that I am unable to see on my own. I actually thought the differing background textures were really cool which is why I chose those pages for the preview. The other pages are almost all similar to page 10.
At the moment I am facing some technical difficulties, so I am unable to sort it out right now, but what exactly would you recommend? Would you recommend ditching all of the textures and just having each page look similar to page 10? That is how it used to look but I thought it looked a little bland, which is why I put in the extra textures in the first place.

Further, some of those backgrounds actually make reading the text over them more difficult - in fact, it actually seems to be that only the background used on page 10 doesn't interfere with the readability of some portion of text.

I think that is the fault of the preview function. Although the textures do impose on the writing in the exact same manner, they aren't nearly as dominant as the preview would leave you to believe. I can only speak for myself, but I have no trouble reading anything in the actual PDF.

And last, the art; excellent selections, but the hard contrast of each art piece's edges and the page backgrounds compounds the busy look and makes the product look less well put-together. Changing the page backgrounds to something more subtle (like page the 10 background) might be all that is needed to smooth out the issue, though I'd probably soften the edges of the art with some transparency if it were me assembling the book. I'd also roughly double the distance between any text and any art from what you have in the layout now, but that is just my preference.

Softening the edges sounds like a good solution, although I have no idea how to do that. I'm sure I could figure it out easily enough if it came to it though, but it sounds like I might be ditching most of those textures anyway.

What about the textures on the contents page and pages 8 and 9 (the page that contains the start of the Vampiric Ghouls section and the page directly after), are those textures too obnoxious too?

 

[Gnarl45]

It looks better than most DM's Guild products and the writing is fairly pleasant to read.

I think the problem is the topic and that it's a paid product. The topic is kind of cliché and the only people that will buy it are Twilight fans with very high expectations. With a paid product, you're also telling people you want to be treated like a professional.

There are different categories of professional products but they all have two things in common: proper English and clean layouts. You write very well but even the best writers need a copyeditor. These guys do an excellent job a smoothing your writing and making it easier to read. It might sound like a waste of money but writing proper English takes time...

The layout is nice but it needs a little cleaning up to make it look professional. You can also use simpler layouts. I agree with Aaron on the background. One background please! I'm not sure about the illustrations though. It seems to be more a problem of mismatching colors that you can easily fix with a Photo Filter adjustment layer in Photoshop. I can walk you through the steps if you want.

Speaking of your layout. Did you make it from scratch? I'd like to make DMG stuff that looks like WoTC products and I'd rather use an existing template than make my own.

Overall, I think you're doing a great job. You also wrote the epic book right?

 

[Giant2005]

Yes I did the epic book too, I used this site for the layout, it makes things really easy.
Although it is also the source of my current technical issues - they changed something in the css which turned all of my formatting to crap. If I can't figure out what exactly they changed, then I'll essentially have to redo the entire thing in order to edit a single page.
So keep that in mind if you choose to use it - there are risks involved that wouldn't exist if you did everything on your own.

 

[Gnarl45]

Yes I did the epic book too, I used this site for the layout, it makes things really easy.
Although it is also the source of my current technical issues - they changed something in the css which turned all of my formatting to crap. If I can't figure out what exactly they changed, then I'll essentially have to redo the entire thing in order to edit a single page.
So keep that in mind if you choose to use it - there are risks involved that wouldn't exist if you did everything on your own.

Thanks! I'm going to use InDesign. I was hoping I could get my hands on the footer (the irregular lines), the calligraphy letters at the beginning of a new chapter, and the monster stat border. Oh well, I guess I'll have to continue searching.

 

[Giant2005]

Thanks! I'm going to use InDesign. I was hoping I could get my hands on the footer (the irregular lines), the calligraphy letters at the beginning of a new chapter, and the monster stat border. Oh well, I guess I'll have to continue searching.

You can try contacting Stolksdorf on Reddit. S/He made the page, so s/he must have access to the resources you are after (or at the very least know what they are exactly).

 

[AaronOfBarbaria]

Thanks for the criticisms!

You are welcome, and thank you for not taking the criticism personally.

Would you recommend ditching all of the textures and just having each page look similar to page 10? That is how it used to look but I thought it looked a little bland, which is why I put in the extra textures in the first place.

It's my personal opinion that readability is first priority, so a more "bland" option that is more readable will always win my favor over a "fancy" or "cool" option that is less readable. So yes, I'd recommend ditching the textures besides the one on page 10 - or at least tweaking the other textures so that there is clearer contrast between the text and background, and adjusting the layout so that you don't have any text over the dark red corners of the one background without something enhancing the contrast there (like an outline on the text, though putting that in could cause a different problem with the look of things).

What about the textures on the contents page and pages 8 and 9 (the page that contains the start of the Vampiric Ghouls section and the page directly after), are those textures too obnoxious too?

On the vampiric ghoul page has the darker parts of the background texture behind the text (specifically right in the middle-left of the first two paragraphs under the Vampiric Ghoul heading) that makes the text look washed out at 100% zoom. The texture being less intense (putting it over a white background and bumping the texture's opacity down a bit, for example) would clean that up.

The following page bothers my eyes - reading text over a multi-colored background just doesn't work well for me. I'm not sure if that is a common thing or not. It would likely also be cleared up by making the texture less intense.

I suggest playing with things a bit to see if you can find something that looks good to you and also looks like it will work better to you, rather than just following all my advice without exploring on your own - this whole design thing is art, and therefor subjective enough not to have just the one "correct" way to do things.

 

[Giant2005]

I suggest playing with things a bit to see if you can find something that looks good to you and also looks like it will work better to you, rather than just following all my advice without exploring on your own - this whole design thing is art, and therefor subjective enough not to have just the one "correct" way to do things.

Honestly, exploring on my own is pointless. My brain just doesn't work in a way that allows me to judge these things properly - it seems to dedicate itself entirely to whatever I am focused on (it also makes multitasking impossible too but that is besides the point). When I look at the text, the background textures are basically invisible to me. When I look at the textures, the other images and words and pretty much everything is gone.
Whenever I judge aspects of the page, I can only judge each aspect in isolation, so the combined effects is not something I will ever be able to assess accurately.

 

[AaronOfBarbaria]

Honestly, exploring on my own is pointless. My brain just doesn't work in a way that allows me to judge these things properly - it seems to dedicate itself entirely to whatever I am focused on (it also makes multitasking impossible too but that is besides the point). When I look at the text, the background textures are basically invisible to me. When I look at the textures, the other images and words and pretty much everything is gone.
Whenever I judge aspects of the page, I can only judge each aspect in isolation, so the combined effects is not something I will ever be able to assess accurately.

Well, you know your self better than I know you of course... but I say don't sell yourself short, people can overcome a lot more difficulties than people usually give them credit for (especially them self).

I mean, take me for example: I am a color deficient (inaccurately referred to as color blind) artist.