Welcome to the Halmae (updated 2/27/07)
Jackylhunter
First Post
Awww, snap...=)
Hmm, I think I need to hang out with an older crowd.
Anyway, again, wonderful story Spy, your writing is fantastic. and I absolutley love your campaign world Fajitas. I can't wait for the next write-up
Richard Rawen
First Post
Really great take on the 'doddering old mage' archtype. Lets just hope the fire in his eyes stays lit long enough...
spyscribe
First Post
Technical preface: I’m back playing in this session, although as you will see, Lira is not. However, Fajitas did have an NPC to keep me amused. Also, guest starring this session was Tremere, better known as TomTom from Piratecat’s game, who had relocated to the West coast!
Part the Two-Hundred Second
In which: Barnabus gets testy about Woodsy, and Testy is made out of wood.
Having agreed that the party will accompany Barnabus when he goes to “speak” to Count Agramount, the archmage announces that he will need some time to gather supplies.
“How long?” Anvil asks.
“Oh, not more than an hour,” Barnabus replies as he digs through a pile of odds and ends heaped up in one corner of the room. “Now,” he mutters, more to himself than anyone else, “where is he?”
Eva answers for the group. “He?”
“Well, fine, ‘it.’” Barnabus replies, throwing up his hands. “It does help to personify them, you know. And they certainly seem to appreciate it.”
“They?”
“Yes, we’ll want to bring the Woodsman too. Would you go fetch him?”
“Where is he?” Anvil asks.
Barnabus considers. “Probably in the woods.”
Eva shoots a look over to Anvil as if to say, Ask a silly question… Anvil shrugs. “I will go find him.”
“Good good good.” As Anvil leaves through a back door, Barnabus uncovers what looks like a human head carved out of wood. “Ah, Testy! There you are.”
“Indeed I am,” the head replies. A wooden hand emerges from the pile appropriately spaced from the head and soon Barnabus is helping an entire animated wooden man to gain his feet. The man, Testy, wears a thick leather apron with many different storage loops and pockets which are soon filled as Barnabus piles the man’s hands with various wands and scrolls.
As all of this is going on, Testy looks around the room, looking at each of the party members in turn. His eyes appear to be fixed in his wooden skull and do not blink, which gives the rather unsettling effect of seeming to stare at whatever he is looking at. Survey complete, he greets the room politely. “Hello. I am Testy. Are you here to help with a new experiment?” His voice has an odd quality to it. Almost as if he was speaking from the other end of a hollow log.
The party stands dumbfounded, unsure whether to be more amazed by the figure before them or by the name Barnabus has apparently given him.
Barnabus is not in the least perturbed. “Yes, Testy, this is… a bunch of people. Did I get your names? No matter.” He turns back to Testy, still filling the man’s arms and pockets with scrolls and wands. “Here, you’ll want some of these, and a few of these, and… Oh! These too.”
Barnabus explains to the party. “I craft a lot of magic items, and you know how tricky magic can be sometimes, hmm? Well it can be, so I thought it might be useful to have an assistant who could test things for me. So I built Testy here. That way I can experiment with new enchantments and artifacts, and no need to worry about anyone being hurt.”
He knocks on Testy’s solid wooden form by way of illustration. “Solid, durable, non-conductive, and it’s not like he’s going to be exposed to a lot of fire in this line of work, is it?”
(DM’s note: The key thing about Testy, from a rules perspective, is that he is capable of activating magic items that can normally only be activated by a spell-caster of the appropriate class (i.e. wands and scrolls: spell completion items). He can of course be used to test magic items that don’t require spell completion, but then again, anyone can do that.)
“What experiment are we going to conduct today?” Testy asks.
Barnabus thinks. “Well… I don’t know how I’d phrase it exactly…”
“We are conducting a study in the stubbornness of humans,” Reyu supplies.
“Hum.” Barnabus considers. “I suppose we are.”
###
As Barnabus did not give any indications as to where in the woods the Woodsman might be found, Anvil strides out purposefully from the house listening for the sound of someone chopping wood. It’s a quiet day, but there is nothing in the woods that sounds like axe fall.
However, in the distance he does detect a strange buzzing noise.
He follows the noise. The buzzing is nearly constant and grows steadily louder as Anvil approaches. However, before he reaches the source, Anvil is brought up short by an odd sight.
There, beside the path, is a bush, which appears to have been pruned into the shape of a tree.
A few yards father on is another bush pruned into the shape of a… bush.
And then, a few yards farther on, Anvil finds the Woodsman.
The “man” is solid metal, easily six and a half feet tall, and where his hands should be are two giant whirring saw-blades. As Anvil watches, he carefully prunes a dead limb off of a large and painstakingly maintained tree.
The branch crashes to the ground, and the Woodsman turns and finally notices Anvil. The whirring saw-blades slowly come to a stop, the buzzing noise dying away until the woods are quiet once more.
“You are the Woodsman?”
The giant metal head nods. Although he has a mouth-shaped area on his head, when he speaks, his lips do not move. “Yes.”
“Barnabus desires your presence at the house.”
The Woodsman nods again and sets off in that direction. Anvil follows behind.
###
“Actually,” Barnabus is in the midst of explaining, as Anvil and the Woodsman arrive back at the house, “it rather sounds as though—Petros you said?—Petros’ butler was a golem. A flesh golem to be exact. Similar perhaps superficially to Testy here, but completely different in theory and construction.”
He spies the Woodsman entering, “Oh yes! And this is the Woodsman… Woodsy when you get to know him.” He smiles and pats the enormous metal man on the arm with an affectionate paternal air.
Kiara—who has gotten bored waiting around on the boat while Thatch glowers at the captured sailors and Euro hisses at anyone who looks sideways at Lira’s body—flutters into the room in swallow form. Seeing Woodsy and Testy, she flies several cautious loops around their heads, trying to figure out what is going on.
Woodsy watches her with interest, especially as Reyu begins catching her up on the conversation in Sylvan.
I would pet you Woodsy tells Kiara, but I would harm you.
Kiara is so surprised she almost forgets how to fly.
You can talk to me!
Of course. I’m a nature spirit
Kiara whirls back into human form so quickly she nearly gives herself whiplash. She turns on Barnabus, horrified. “You took a nature spirit and trapped it in a huge metal body?”
“And then he asked me to cut down trees,” Woodsy supplies mournfully.
“Well I don’t anymore, do I?” Barnabus retorts, showing just a touch of impatience.
(“No,” Woodsy admits.)
“Certainly in retrospect,” Barnabus admits, “using a nature spirit to animate the wood-cutter was perhaps not the most logical choice, but it’s hard to see all the possible consequences at the time.” He sighs.
“What animates Testy?” Reyu asks.
“A fire spirit.”
“In a wooden body?” Eva asks, a bit confused.
Barnabus throws up his hands. “Yes, yes, yes. Well let’s dwell on irony.” He harrumphs. “I have to prepare.” Then, as he is leaving the room, something catches his eye that improves his mood considerably.
“Oh, perhaps there’s something in here that you would find useful when we go talk to the Count.” He takes an ordinary looking sack and tosses it into the middle of the floor. “Help yourselves.”
Eva pokes the sack cautiously, as Anvil asks, “Is it safe?”
“Of course!” To illustrate the point, Barnabus upends the bag right there. A pile of items—which the party cannot help but note seems far larger than what should be able to fit in the sack—falls to the floor in a disorganized heap.
There’s a set of oily-looking leather armor, three rings, a necklace, and a wooden tile along with an assortment of other objects.
Reyu, who still has detect magic active from earlier, blinks. Then, she blinks again. Every single thing that came out of the sack… and the sack itself, now that she looks at it… is magical. And all of them radiate with enchantments that would put Professor Alexandra’s storeroom to shame.
Part the Two-Hundred Second
In which: Barnabus gets testy about Woodsy, and Testy is made out of wood.
Having agreed that the party will accompany Barnabus when he goes to “speak” to Count Agramount, the archmage announces that he will need some time to gather supplies.
“How long?” Anvil asks.
“Oh, not more than an hour,” Barnabus replies as he digs through a pile of odds and ends heaped up in one corner of the room. “Now,” he mutters, more to himself than anyone else, “where is he?”
Eva answers for the group. “He?”
“Well, fine, ‘it.’” Barnabus replies, throwing up his hands. “It does help to personify them, you know. And they certainly seem to appreciate it.”
“They?”
“Yes, we’ll want to bring the Woodsman too. Would you go fetch him?”
“Where is he?” Anvil asks.
Barnabus considers. “Probably in the woods.”
Eva shoots a look over to Anvil as if to say, Ask a silly question… Anvil shrugs. “I will go find him.”
“Good good good.” As Anvil leaves through a back door, Barnabus uncovers what looks like a human head carved out of wood. “Ah, Testy! There you are.”
“Indeed I am,” the head replies. A wooden hand emerges from the pile appropriately spaced from the head and soon Barnabus is helping an entire animated wooden man to gain his feet. The man, Testy, wears a thick leather apron with many different storage loops and pockets which are soon filled as Barnabus piles the man’s hands with various wands and scrolls.
As all of this is going on, Testy looks around the room, looking at each of the party members in turn. His eyes appear to be fixed in his wooden skull and do not blink, which gives the rather unsettling effect of seeming to stare at whatever he is looking at. Survey complete, he greets the room politely. “Hello. I am Testy. Are you here to help with a new experiment?” His voice has an odd quality to it. Almost as if he was speaking from the other end of a hollow log.
The party stands dumbfounded, unsure whether to be more amazed by the figure before them or by the name Barnabus has apparently given him.
Barnabus is not in the least perturbed. “Yes, Testy, this is… a bunch of people. Did I get your names? No matter.” He turns back to Testy, still filling the man’s arms and pockets with scrolls and wands. “Here, you’ll want some of these, and a few of these, and… Oh! These too.”
Barnabus explains to the party. “I craft a lot of magic items, and you know how tricky magic can be sometimes, hmm? Well it can be, so I thought it might be useful to have an assistant who could test things for me. So I built Testy here. That way I can experiment with new enchantments and artifacts, and no need to worry about anyone being hurt.”
He knocks on Testy’s solid wooden form by way of illustration. “Solid, durable, non-conductive, and it’s not like he’s going to be exposed to a lot of fire in this line of work, is it?”
(DM’s note: The key thing about Testy, from a rules perspective, is that he is capable of activating magic items that can normally only be activated by a spell-caster of the appropriate class (i.e. wands and scrolls: spell completion items). He can of course be used to test magic items that don’t require spell completion, but then again, anyone can do that.)
“What experiment are we going to conduct today?” Testy asks.
Barnabus thinks. “Well… I don’t know how I’d phrase it exactly…”
“We are conducting a study in the stubbornness of humans,” Reyu supplies.
“Hum.” Barnabus considers. “I suppose we are.”
###
As Barnabus did not give any indications as to where in the woods the Woodsman might be found, Anvil strides out purposefully from the house listening for the sound of someone chopping wood. It’s a quiet day, but there is nothing in the woods that sounds like axe fall.
However, in the distance he does detect a strange buzzing noise.
He follows the noise. The buzzing is nearly constant and grows steadily louder as Anvil approaches. However, before he reaches the source, Anvil is brought up short by an odd sight.
There, beside the path, is a bush, which appears to have been pruned into the shape of a tree.
A few yards father on is another bush pruned into the shape of a… bush.
And then, a few yards farther on, Anvil finds the Woodsman.
The “man” is solid metal, easily six and a half feet tall, and where his hands should be are two giant whirring saw-blades. As Anvil watches, he carefully prunes a dead limb off of a large and painstakingly maintained tree.
The branch crashes to the ground, and the Woodsman turns and finally notices Anvil. The whirring saw-blades slowly come to a stop, the buzzing noise dying away until the woods are quiet once more.
“You are the Woodsman?”
The giant metal head nods. Although he has a mouth-shaped area on his head, when he speaks, his lips do not move. “Yes.”
“Barnabus desires your presence at the house.”
The Woodsman nods again and sets off in that direction. Anvil follows behind.
###
“Actually,” Barnabus is in the midst of explaining, as Anvil and the Woodsman arrive back at the house, “it rather sounds as though—Petros you said?—Petros’ butler was a golem. A flesh golem to be exact. Similar perhaps superficially to Testy here, but completely different in theory and construction.”
He spies the Woodsman entering, “Oh yes! And this is the Woodsman… Woodsy when you get to know him.” He smiles and pats the enormous metal man on the arm with an affectionate paternal air.
Kiara—who has gotten bored waiting around on the boat while Thatch glowers at the captured sailors and Euro hisses at anyone who looks sideways at Lira’s body—flutters into the room in swallow form. Seeing Woodsy and Testy, she flies several cautious loops around their heads, trying to figure out what is going on.
Woodsy watches her with interest, especially as Reyu begins catching her up on the conversation in Sylvan.
I would pet you Woodsy tells Kiara, but I would harm you.
Kiara is so surprised she almost forgets how to fly.
You can talk to me!
Of course. I’m a nature spirit
Kiara whirls back into human form so quickly she nearly gives herself whiplash. She turns on Barnabus, horrified. “You took a nature spirit and trapped it in a huge metal body?”
“And then he asked me to cut down trees,” Woodsy supplies mournfully.
“Well I don’t anymore, do I?” Barnabus retorts, showing just a touch of impatience.
(“No,” Woodsy admits.)
“Certainly in retrospect,” Barnabus admits, “using a nature spirit to animate the wood-cutter was perhaps not the most logical choice, but it’s hard to see all the possible consequences at the time.” He sighs.
“What animates Testy?” Reyu asks.
“A fire spirit.”
“In a wooden body?” Eva asks, a bit confused.
Barnabus throws up his hands. “Yes, yes, yes. Well let’s dwell on irony.” He harrumphs. “I have to prepare.” Then, as he is leaving the room, something catches his eye that improves his mood considerably.
“Oh, perhaps there’s something in here that you would find useful when we go talk to the Count.” He takes an ordinary looking sack and tosses it into the middle of the floor. “Help yourselves.”
Eva pokes the sack cautiously, as Anvil asks, “Is it safe?”
“Of course!” To illustrate the point, Barnabus upends the bag right there. A pile of items—which the party cannot help but note seems far larger than what should be able to fit in the sack—falls to the floor in a disorganized heap.
There’s a set of oily-looking leather armor, three rings, a necklace, and a wooden tile along with an assortment of other objects.
Reyu, who still has detect magic active from earlier, blinks. Then, she blinks again. Every single thing that came out of the sack… and the sack itself, now that she looks at it… is magical. And all of them radiate with enchantments that would put Professor Alexandra’s storeroom to shame.
