You know what I say to that:
It's Still D&D To Me
(with apologies to Billy Joel)
What's the matter with the sword I'm swinging?
Can't you tell that it's too mundane?
Maybe I should buy some leather armor.
How much gold don't you have anyway?
Where have you been hidin' out lately, honey?
You can't fight monsters 'til you spend a lot of money.
Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new game
Funny, but it's still D&D to me.
What's the matter with the horse I'm riding?
Can't you tell that it's out of style?
Should I try to raise a baby griffon?
Yes you can, but it'll take a while.
Nowadays you can't be too sentimental,
Your best bet's a half-dragon half-elemental.
Pokemount, riding dog, half-celestial dire frog,
It's still D&D to me.
Oh, it doesn't matter what they say in the papers,
'Cause it's always been the same old scene.
There's a new game in town but you can't get the sound
From a story in a magazine
Aimed at your average teen.
How about a suite of stat boosting items
And a keen holy flaming burst lance?
You could be a really great hero baby,
If you just give it half a chance.
Don't waste your money on a rod of negation,
You get more mileage from a ring of protection.
Heavy shield, animated, heavy fort, mithril plate,
It's still D&D to me.
What's the matter with the class I'm playing?
Don't you know that it got the shaft?
Should I try to play a cleric/wizard?
If you do then you must be daft.
Don't you know about the new options honey?
You get to stack your saves and your base attack bonii.
It's the next phase, new wave, balanced play, anyways
It's still D&D to me.
Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new game
Funny, but it's still D&D to me.
