Giants in the Earth 2007: The Burger King
[imager]http://www.geocities.com/shdowdmon/bk-jesus.jpg[/imager]
THE BURGER KING
"..."
Pal 8 / Brd 20 / FbR 10*
Lawful Good
STR 12
DEX 16
CAL 4512 **
INT 14 ***
WIS 26 ***
CHA 32 ****
BAB +18, FRY +2251, REF +3, WILL +8
FEATS
Cleave, Combat Reflexes, Enormous Carnival Head (FbR prestige class waives Enormous Plastic Head prerequisite), Extra Turning, Leadership, Power Attack, Silent Spell
CLASS ABILITIES
Bardic Inspiration (The King's got your back), Bardic Fascination (save DC +6 due to Enormous Carnival Head), Edible, Noble Title, Prima Nocta, First Taste Is With the Eyes
SKILLS
Diplomacy +8, Hide +18, Intimidate +23, Listen +12, Hear -8, Move Silently +18, Spot -4
EQUIPMENT
Circlet of Charisma +4 (crown, already included in stats), Masterwork Dagger, Royal Vestments (as noble outfit, PHB p 131), Tanglefoot Bag x2
*
Food-based Royalty Prestige Class taken from
Unorthodox Food Monsters by TheLe Games
** Like all food-based-monsters, CON is replaced by CAL (calories)
*** Estimated values because The Burger King has never spoken
**** Because you know you'd follow his flame-broiled highness to farkin' HELL
A classic figure of modern "magical realism" fiction, The Burger King is a Jungian archetype sprung fully-formed from the collective unconscious, a hungry hero for a hungry age.
The Burger King rules through stealth and intimidation. The boundaries of his kingdom are shrouded in mystery. You may be his subject and not even know it. Travelers may cross his borders with no warning beyond the slight smell of burning beef.
The Burger King can be used as a patron of the PCs, showing up unexpectedly and silently offering sustenance and political intrigue. As an enemy, he is a Machiavellian figure, putting a friendly even beguiling face on his insidious plans-within-plans.