The Rick James School of DMing

Dark Jezter said:

You just destroyed any remaining credibility you had with such a ludicrous statement: For the last part of this thread, you've been trying to get the Thayan Menace to edit his original post because you deemed the crack at Bastion's expense to be offensive, but when I point out that you're being unreasonably thin-skinned, you play the "I'm free to express my opinions" card and then tell me to shut up. Tell me, whatever happened to the Thayan Menace being free to express his opinions?

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I never said that he wasn't free to express his opinion. However, what was written in this case is offensive to me, not to mention the fact that it does violate board policy. Of course that might have something to do with the fact that this board (from the very top) has a long-running history of being antagonistic towards Bastion Press; its somewhat in vogue around here. In all honesty, I felt that 75% of the original post was funny in its way.

Frankly, it isn't that I'm going out of my way to get him to edit his post. He said he didn't intend to offend me, and he asked how to make it right. I explained to him what he could do with his post to make it no longer offensive to me, and we had even come to an agreement before you spoke up. I'm really not being thin-skinned, I'm more than happy to take well thought-out and presented criticism. This isn't that, its just more beating of the long since dead horse.

My Conclusion: An Answer Worthy of Rick James Himself

Mr. Drader,

I have thought over the current situation, and I have decided to leave my Rick James DM poster exactly the way it is ... for the time being.

Frankly, making jokes about a game company producing unbalanced products is no more of a "personal attack" than giving a bad review.

As a DM, I have every right to make product assessments regarding my game. I also have the right to tell others what I recommend or dislike.

Anyone who listens to me has the right to make up their own mind.

Now, you are free to criticize me all you want (you can even vote to say that my concept is lame), however I am equally free to reasonably express my opinion through the medium of message-board comedy.

If my humor is based on incorrect assumptions, then you have absolutely no cause for concern; people won't find it funny, and this thread will die.

In addition, you also have the option of calling me an ignorant crank and using your occupational credibility to dismiss my claims.

Keep this in mind though ... consistently locking horns with me here only increases the popularity of my thread. If you really think I'm such an idiotic hellspawn, it might be smart to let the thread die on its own, instead of giving me free publicity.

So, in conclusion ... I'm not changing my act just because you don't like what I have to say. Besides, I think Rick James would agree with me anyway.


Let me be very clear: Although I do not like Bastion Press (and I have recently looked at more of their material), I am more than willing to keep an open mind.

If you can send me a copy of what you consider to be Bastion's best publication, I will gladly read it. If it is indeed excellent, not only will I remove any reference to Bastion Press in my Rick James poster ... I will also write an upstanding review for the ENworld boards and openly praise your favorite company to all my friends.

Now, I think that's eminently fair ... don't you?

-Samir Ibn Asad (a.k.a. The Thayan Menace)

It's Time to Get Back to Work 'G' ....

The Thayan Menace said:

In any event, I would like to get back to the reason I started this thread.
Ladies & Gentlemen, do you have any inspirational Rick James DM stories?​

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Oh gods, yes. I've told this story a time or two before, mostly in various threads on "The Most Horrible Game You Ever Played", that sort of thing.

I was part of a huge game. Nine full-time players. But the DM was a busy guy, and he couldn't make one session. He let his good friend and fellow player Matt DM. This was a hideous mistake. One that directly led to the utter destruction of that game.

Upon assuming the DM throne, Matt took us out of the dungeon we were exploring and brought us to the demiplane of some great sorcerer-god-king. Who was obviously an DM-avatar for Matt. One of the players, a sorcerer, cast detect magic in God-Matt's treasure hall. His head exploded. Another PC dared to ask what was going on, and was swiftly decapitated.

The God-King-Matt had decided to summon us because he needed help with a horrible army of enroaching horrors threatening his realm. We were each given crazy-powerful weapons (I got a +5 vorpal keen icy throwing returning mercurial scythe. I was playing a conjurer) and flown in God-King-Matt's prismatic sphere carraige to a field in which there were 10,000 myconid warriors. Each of us gets a turn, and then God-King-Matt goes. The world flickers for an instant, and before we know it, God-King-Matt has killed all the myconids with his belt of infinite time stop spells.

Things went downhill from there.

After determining that we all made it to 13th level, and a long break to level up (during which half of the players fled into the night or the office to play Diablo), we were treated to Matt, in his DMly wisdom, stripping the one female PC of her clothing, random attacks by lecherous drow vampires, a murderous angel, and sundry other sordid sights.

The next session, when our proper DM returned, he was rightfully horrified. He tried to salvage the game, failed, and quit within weeks.

Demiurge out.

The Genuine Article

demiurge1138 said:

One of the players, a sorcerer, cast detect magic in God-Matt's treasure hall. His head exploded.

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demiurge1138 said:

Another PC dared to ask what was going on, and was swiftly decapitated.

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demiurge1138 said:

... a field in which there were 10,000 myconid warriors. Each of us gets a turn, and then God-King-Matt goes.

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demiurge1138 said:

The world flickers for an instant, and before we know it, God-King-Matt has killed all the myconids with his belt of infinite time stop spells.

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Those images aren't what I'd call Grandma friendly TM. (the head exploding and decapitation)

Cheerfully Edited for Your Viewing Pleasure

fett527 said:

Those images aren't what I'd call Grandma friendly TM. (the head exploding and decapitation)

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You have a point; I guess I got carried away with the image search. I hope your grandmother did not suffer any undue anxiety when she saw them.

The Thayan Menace said:

You have a point; I guess I got carried away with the image search. I hope your grandmother did not suffer any undue anxiety when she saw them.

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Not my grandma you have to worry about, it's Eric's.

No Problem Chief

fett527 said:

Not my grandma you have to worry about, it's Eric's.

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Well, she has no need to worry. I take it you're not a fan of Dawn of the Dead or Frank Frazetta?

The Thayan Menace said:

Well, she has no need to worry. I take it you're not a fan of Dawn of the Dead or Frank Frazetta?

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I haven't seen the original Dawn of the Dead in some time. I just watched the remake last week.