Player Meltdown; Input Requested

He is rarely disruptive in the sense that he causes other serious grief. There has always been a tradition of good natured ribbing that goes on at the table, so whereas it is possible that any given night something that is accepted could have caused him to snap, I hesitate to put the blame on that issue.

But I will be making a mental note not to use any more romantic angles with him again. Obviously he seems uncomfortable with it and I certainly don't want a repeat of what happened Friday.

Throwing my armchair opinion in:

With the romantic subplots, how often are they instigated by NPCs? From the example above, it sounds like something that you the GM arranged as a way of advancing the plot, and that the NPC was doing the pursuing, and the occultist player felt that he had to respond.

However, there were also some pointers that the ghost NPC would be betraying him or otherwise causing trouble for the group. At the same time, it's clearly a GM plot for this to happen. So, on the one hand, the player wants to go along and help you out, but he doesn't want to let the group down, which is what might happen if it turns into an amush situation or whatever. This is sort of a "lose/lose" situation in his mind.

I'm not accusing you of baiting a trap or anything like that. This sort of situation is common in games, it's what DMs do to engage players- add twists to situations, get them involved, etc. However, if he's already uncomfortable with the romantic aspects, and he feels like he's being torn between doing what "the plot says" and not letting his comrades down, then this could be sort of stressful. And, if the person is prone to it, possibly trigger some anxiety.

When I do romantic angles in my game, I usually just throw the potential out there and leave it for the PC to follow. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. In this case, it seems like it would definately be better to let the player pursue the possibilities, so that he can do things at his own comfort and speed. Maybe the group makes contact with a local witch coven that they help out, the occultist makes a couple of potential contacts, and things proceed from there.

Can you tell us some of the other romance plots that you've used in the game? It might be useful to compare them to this one, since it seems like the player had an expectation other than what was presented to him.

Never witnessed such a behavior from an experienced player. Someone in my group once made the mistake of convincing his totally uninterested girlfriend to play in the campaign and she downright froze at the first question I asked her in game.

I had these awful memories when you mentionned the table going silent and everyone just wishing they were miles away.

-Marco

Maybe the romatic roleplaying is too much because he likes you that way?

Keeper of Secrets said:

He does not drink

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Well that's the problem right there

Shove a beer into his hand, slap him on the back, flash a big smile his way, and say "Suck it up man & quit being a baby. We're here to hang out with you because we enjoy your company. If my plotline is making you uncomfortable then either let me know and I'll do something else or be a man and play along. Popcorn chicken & 10 minutes of your time isn't worth making yourself unhappy."

It seems like we're surrounded by these types of people these days and I've never seen anyone like this change. Really...who isn't claiming to be depressed or on medication to deal with some form of depression? Quite frankly I'm tired of dealing with it from people and I've become pretty blunt towards my friends who are exactly like this. People have too much time to sit and think about silly things all day and make themselves depressed, and then they make people put up with their childishness.

The only thing that will help this guy is himself because obviously therapy & drugs don't work (it's not working for him). Just be there for him as a friend, explain to him what he's doing and how it's affecting him, and just be supportive. Don't cuddle him & act sympathetic towards his childlike behavior because it'll just make him feel more lame...leave that to the women (& a woman is his life is most likely what he needs). My 2 friends who are just like this enjoy being treated like men around us...it makes them feel normal. We aren't mean to them, we just razz them & follow it up with some good old fashioned male bonding. Acting like his mom is the last thing he needs.

You can't drink when you're on meds for depression.

Dragon Vindaloo said:

You can't drink when you're on meds for depression.

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You won't need the meds if you're drinking

Byrons_Ghost said:

Can you tell us some of the other romance plots that you've used in the game? It might be useful to compare them to this one, since it seems like the player had an expectation other than what was presented to him.

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Thanks for the interest. In the past, the kind of romance angles involved some of the characters growing interested in damsels in distress who responded affectionately. Since this is a supers game it is in a modern setting. Some of the characters have shown interests in sleazy bar chicks, another showed an interest in the asylum director's daughter (yikes!) and two of the female players have their characters look for guys at nightclubs.

Do you need more details, such as how a typical romantic setting goes or is what I have described enough?

The player never expressed interest (or aversion) to romantic angles in the past but always wants the same opportunities the others get. When I had romantic angles in the past (a couple of years ago) he was awkward and not very good but it was not a nightmare like this time.

Marcon said:

Never witnessed such a behavior from an experienced player. Someone in my group once made the mistake of convincing his totally uninterested girlfriend to play in the campaign and she downright froze at the first question I asked her in game.

I had these awful memories when you mentionned the table going silent and everyone just wishing they were miles away.

-Marco

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So you know what I went through . . .

Oryan77 said:

Well that's the problem right there

Shove a beer into his hand, slap him on the back, flash a big smile his way, and say "Suck it up man & quit being a baby. We're here to hang out with you because we enjoy your company. If my plotline is making you uncomfortable then either let me know and I'll do something else or be a man and play along. Popcorn chicken & 10 minutes of your time isn't worth making yourself unhappy."

It seems like we're surrounded by these types of people these days and I've never seen anyone like this change. Really...who isn't claiming to be depressed or on medication to deal with some form of depression? Quite frankly I'm tired of dealing with it from people and I've become pretty blunt towards my friends who are exactly like this. People have too much time to sit and think about silly things all day and make themselves depressed, and then they make people put up with their childishness.

The only thing that will help this guy is himself because obviously therapy & drugs don't work (it's not working for him). Just be there for him as a friend, explain to him what he's doing and how it's affecting him, and just be supportive. Don't cuddle him & act sympathetic towards his childlike behavior because it'll just make him feel more lame...leave that to the women (& a woman is his life is most likely what he needs). My 2 friends who are just like this enjoy being treated like men around us...it makes them feel normal. We aren't mean to them, we just razz them & follow it up with some good old fashioned male bonding. Acting like his mom is the last thing he needs.

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When we were in college, he used to get fussy if someone else had an open drink in the room. He would pull his short up over his nose and get kind of pissy. Believe me, it was quite a scene. And since this was college, at what point do guys pass up drinks? I had a pretty rowdy group of gamer friends.

He's come a long way with alcohol aversion. He does not really drink but never gives the evil eye when someone else does and no longer pulls the shirt over his face.

He has gotten a lot better since '98 when all the players demand I kick him out over some antics he pulled (a very long story).

Oh, I should also point out that the reason the ghost woman came to him was because his character is a magnet for strange and unusual things (ie ghosts). I thought it would be far more interesting to have her appear to him in this way and try to endear herself to him to get him to solver her murder rather than a ghost appear in a dream and sa, "Ooooooo Mr. Herooooo . . . sooolve my muuuuuurderrrrr" as I thought that would have been kind of hokey.