Eberron Cyran Steel Raptor Prestige Class Review

Only those who are completely bored and have absolutely nothing else better to do should take a look at this.

I am creating a massive very modular prestige class as a part of my character history. My DM is pretty trusting of me and I do not want to screw him or the other players in the group.

I still have a lot of things to look at (balance and so on) but, I would like you guys to take a look at it and let me know what you think. Any suggestions on wording, changing mechanics and balance issues would be appreciated as well as recommendations to improve the class.

As it stands the document is 72 pages!!
I have reduced it to 9 pages in a post later on (in post #8)

That's right! Did I mention it was highly modular??

Yes, I am crazy, and the sad part is I will only be using a very small portion of it for my character - maybe 5 or 6 pages (it ends up being 9 pages) - I like to be thorough!!

So here you go... please be gentle... for most of the time I have not had access to my books!!!

There are 2 files, the first has the core information and a narrative.
The second has the appendix stuff: Glossary, Example characters and stuff,
as well as as extension of the PrC and its associated narrative.

Thanks in advance!!

Oh, Helll Cow, if you are there listening, it would be great if you could take a look at it. I know you have nothing else better to do!
(BTW you rock!!!)

This has been cross-posted on the Wizards boards.
http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?p=4818621#post4818621

First off, let me state that I admire your writing spirit.

Second off - I am overwhelmed! Your vast bounty of material leaves me unsure where to begin.

Tell us of YOUR character, and the loadout that he will be choosing from this class. We can examine that for balance first, but to ask us to examine all 72 pages in one swallow asks too much of our throats.

Inspriation can be an annoying thing!!!

Character History for Funt Ironclaw
WUID: 012M05-8865G-026-0712994
CMID: 0994-FAR07-661SDD-0103-001002--03FC

I obtained awareness in the last production cycle of a factory in Metrol, in the fallen country of Cyre; 7th day of the week (Zor), in the month of Vult (early winter and month of Warding) in the year of 994YK - 1 month before the Day of Mourning. We were the 1rst (last and only) Legion of the Steel Raptors of Cyre and, as such, all members were created in the likeness of the Clawfoot dinosaur that the Talenta halflings rode into combat. We were trained to wield the Talenta Tangant or Sharrash, or the War Bow. Deadly weapons requiring special training to wield properly, and the former two are native weapons of the Talenta halflings. The later was a specially wrought from the genius of Tharlock and his inspiration from Talenta weapon design.

We were designer soldiers - the detailing and care put into our production was supposed to make us better soldiers and to "fit-in more" (in the Cyre occupied regions of the Talenta Plains). We were also produced with a removable war-mask made in the same spirit that the halflings made them. A reflection of their souls and bond (to their mounts and tribe), but our bond to war, weapon, and Cyre. Our chassis detailing and war-mask was individually designed for us by our gnomish production detailer. To come up with the design they cast a specialized spell that allowed the gnome to know our "souls" as they could "understand them" and then detail the chassis. They communicated with us during the process to ensure their arcane wrought intuition was correct. Communication in the form of questions, mostly rhetorical in nature, to convince themselves that their intuitive design was correct. I was pleased with my detailing by the elderly gnome, Funt NimbleTinker.

Following our awakening, detailing, and training we were sent to protect the Cyran border from Karrnathan incursion via the Talenta plains. Talenta was a greatly contested area due to it being at the border between the warring countries of Cyre and Karrnath. On the Day of Mourning, the 1rst Legion of the Steel Raptors, whose members were 834 (560 male personalities, and 274 female personalities), found itself in 10 miles north and east of the Cyre River, at operation point 'Faran 7' (named after the our warforged leader - Faran) repelling a Karrnathan border invasion of 2000 troops – a mixture of Karrnathi undead and fleshborn troops. We were faring very well. So well that I might actually put stock in the effect that the detailing and war-masks had, or it might be our team work and training. Our exotic weapons were hewing the Karrnathans with great efficacy. We had slain nearly 60% of their numbers and had lost approximately 10% of our numbers. Then it happened - a great wave - an almost spiritual wave of agony and anguish crashed into us - the Karrnathan troops seemed to not notice - the Steel Raptors were stunned by this, giving the Karrnatan troops a great advantage. I do not know how long we were stunned, but what I remember next was the remaining 5 Steel Raptors slaying the last members of the Karrnathan unit. Killing them to the man in a flurry of zealous destruction. Our survivors were 2 female (Seraph, Raela) and 2 male (Aran, Sting) warforged (2 Assault, 1 Scout, and 1 Support), and allof my Platoon, the Iron Claws. We knew something was horribly wrong.
Being the only remaining platoon leader I led the Steel Raptors towards the command outpost at the southern most end of Operating Area Faran 7. We arrived at the outpost to find it manned by Colonel Davies d'Cannith (Human), Special Detachment Division Oversight. He had seen a horrible blast in the direction of Cyre and directed us to escort the remaining fleshborn enlisted (12 in all) into Cyre to see what has happened and to collect what survivors we can. We found the land devastated and did not stay long - seeing the aftermath was more than enough to convince us that we needed to report elsewhere. We followed the western and southern borders of what is now known as the Mournlands to the Brelish border and met up with Prince Oargev ir' Wynarn. Colonel Davies and the Steel Raptors accompanied the Prince and his entourage for sometime and helped to establish New Cyre within the confines of Breland. In the next 2 years (and following the Treaty of Thronehold) we were freed/dismissed from service (reprogrammed,) and all 4 of us were offered a position within House d'Cannith. We all accepted. During the next two years working for House d'Cannith I found my self assigned to Johann d'Cannith at the beginning of the year 947YK and have served him since that time.

I do wonder where the remaining 4 members of the Steel Raptors are - Are they still functional? Do they still serve d'Cannith? If so, in what capacity? My platoon-mates and I have a lot in common: the sole survivors of Faran 7, and having experienced the sundering of Cyre on a spiritual level. In the years following Faran 7 I have found my war mask to not quite express myself. I will have a war mask that reflects my 'soul' as it may be, and reforge my war-mask.

I still have residual memories of my service training and each day I explore them more. I will once again be a Steel Raptor. There will be more Steel Raptors; their efficacy cannot be doubted and Cyre will once again have lands of their own.

I am Funt Ironclaw, I am a Steel Raptor. House d'Cannith is my state of belonging. I serve Johann of house Cannith. I am his protector; I am his wrath.


More Info
It is not fair to ask you guys to just wade through it and figure it out. You can hopefully get a good picture of what I am trying to accomplish by reading the Prestige Class description.

The base prerequisites are 2 skills and 4 feats.

Feats: Adamantine or Mithril Body; Power Attack or Point Blank Shot; Improved Bull Rush Exotic Weapon Proficency (Talenta Tangat or Sharrash, or Steel Raptor War Bow);

Skills: Proficiency (Cyran Steel Rapor), Craft (Armor, Gems, or Sculpt)

There are additional prerequisites by designation

Assault (Light or Heavy): Jump
Scout: HIS, MS, List, and Spot
Support: Must be able to cast 2nd level spells; Conc and Spell Craft;

There are additional prerequisites by Chapter or Order

You can check the prerequisites in the document. The Chapter or Order you chose will really determine the class features or abilities as there are certain Chapter/Order Abilities that are restricted to them.

The same is true due to masteries only being available to certain designations and Chapter/Order. The abilities that really matter are the masteries. They give the abilities that you are really looking for. There are Basic and Advanced Masteries. THe advanced masteries require a basic mastey as a prerequisite.

There are example characters towards the end of the second document. This might help you to put this all in perspective.

This Prestige Class really outlines the abilitlies of the entire Steel Raptor Organization. If I was to reduce each combination down to one prestige class I would have several hundred pages. I do not have that much time.

What I have done is to have a core set of abilites that are in common to all memebers and allow each member to specialize.

Thanks, Guys! My therapist says I should be better in a few months!!!
Come to think of it he has been telling me that for the last year or so....
Hmmmmm!!!!

You do seem to have a notable case of logorrhea.

Anyhow, honestly, I recommend biting the bullet and making this in to a core class. You might as well, as complex and customizable as it is. I'll check your combo for balance later - I'm a bit busy atm.

Hmmm, I had not thought of making it a core class...
I will have to think about that...

Any one?? Bueller, Bueller!! Any one??

I guess it is not so good to have your Intimidation Skill max'ed out. Oi!!

OK, so I have pared it down to only the things that may directly affect my character. This is now a 18 page document. There are few extraneous things - like feats descriptions which may not necessarily apply to my character. but the basics for the prestige class are there. You may reference my previous post for the full blown prestige class explanation.

The Example Character at the very end is exactly what my character will look like (except for stats and HP). I am currently Fourth level.

I couldn't make heads or tails of your document. At *first* it looks like a d20 modern-ish prestige class, but then it went on to list a lot of other options. What I read looked fine, and assuming other players in your campaign get similar degrees of customization, all should be pretty fair. It looks like you didn't try to take anything too far.

More Reduction

Creamsteak, Thanks for taking a look at it. Is there anything specific that was confusing??? I have the d20 Modern book, but have not really taken a look at it. Our group has played this maybe twice.

The rest of the players in my group do not have the same degree of customization, as they use only what is in the available core WOTC books (mainly the PG, DMG, and one or 2 of the splat books). I am a WOTC (and Forgotten Realms) fanboy and have every rule book that they have published. The other players do not have the rules background or time to undertake such a task. I am more than willing to have other players use this prestige class.

I have further reduced it down to 9 pages - keeping in mind only the stuff that specifically pertains to my character. This document might seem a bit disjointed as it is taken from the whole 70+ page document.

Thanks again!

Update from WOTC Boards

Please Check the WOTC Boards cross post here:
http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?p=4888927&posted=1#post4888927
Response to Save-vs-DM's Commentary...