Alone In The Dark - Uwe Boll Strikes Back

Well, it wasn't House of the Dead bad. But then, almost nothing is. It was still pretty stupid.

Good Points:
No video game footage.
No spinning camera.
Not nearly as cheap looking.
And there are a couple good ideas here.

But the bad points. Oh, my.
The plot... well, it's like someone had a lot of ideas, and tried to cram them all in, despite that an entire movie could be made out of any single one. The inconsistancies are just.. wow. First, the agency has a form of ammo that really messes up these creatures. The hero uses a gun loaded with this stuff and after five shots the thing just disintergrates. Later on, the same agency, who has known about these things for years and been stocking up to wipe them out, gets wiped out themselves despite throwing Metalstorm-like amounts of ammo into them. Just stuff like that.

And Uwe is still way too enamored of really hard rock.

And the 'Evil Dead' style ending. Well, that made just no damn sense.

It's like a cancer. You think at first it's really not so bad, but you keep picking at it and then your arm falls off.

Anyone know what the video game storyline was?

I really wonder how Boll is going to crap all over Hunter:the Reckoning (currently in pre-production).

the first game, your stuck in a house that has demons in it and you slowly figure out how to kill them, avoid them, and get through. It wasa fun game but you didn't learn much. The second game I think was the western, the third game I think was just set in the 50s or 60s but I really don't recall much of those and could be really wrong. I don't recall any big linking lot of them either.


so, go ahead and spoil the movie, I'm curious on it.

Yes, spoil away. There is no way I am seeing it in the theater.

Wormwood said:

I really wonder how Boll is going to crap all over Hunter:the Reckoning (currently in pre-production).

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WHAT!?! Who keeps letting this man make movies? Seriously, what moron is out there handing Uwe Boll large sums of cash to produce these horrible things? How drunk do you have to be to think that's a good idea?

Also, someone oughtta go over there and smack White Wolf for allowing this to happen. Did you people learn nothing from the Spelling-produced Vampire TV show? Quit letting retarded monkeys make adaptations of your intellectual properties!

I don't even like Hunter that much. But jeez...it doesn't deserve that. Nothing deserves that.

I saw the commercial: "They are equipped to kill it" Video shows an AR type rifle. Yeah, right. Kill it. Thats a laugh.

"This horror film, spun off from an old Atari video game, is so inept on every level, you wonder why the distributor didn't release it straight to video, or better, toss it directly into the trash."

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Bye
Thanee

Don't forget he's going to direct an adaption of the video game Bloodrayne.

See... House of the Dead was his 'edgy student film,' and Alone in the Dark was his 'more mature, educated sophomore film.' Hunter will undoubtly be his 'masterpiece,' and by that I mean, after these first two steaming piles of dung, he might actually create something vaguely resembling a movie.

Scratch that... he has THREE more movies in production... all of them game adaptations.

Go take a peek over at IMDB... Bloodrayne, Hunter, and Far Cry... Please read here, and then help us stop this man! (link goes to IMDB on Uwe Boll).