I m a girl get over it

I am a girl who looks as tho she would'nt know the first thing about gaming let alone the intricacies of playing the DnD and the world that goes along with it.
For a long time my boyfriend , who is a avid gamer and his mates had me labeled as a girl who should be seen and not heard on this subject and that I would be oblivious to the details and probably not the type to play or have as much enthusiasm as they clearly do.

I don't get this assumption at all:\ I think most guys feel that the nearest women get to being involved in a game is when we totter round wearing our aprons handing out mid encounter nibbles before disappearing into the background.

Is it just that we are the of the opposite sex or that you are afraid to let us into your world for fear we will see you at your most vulnerable and the concept of seeing you getting excited or even moved at slaying a dragon may make you lose any sexual credibility and make you less of a man.

There are some women and I am most certainly one of them who think that guys who are geeks are extremely hot!
Plus I feel that gaming is like any other hobby be it tennis or basketball. In fact I feel that it stimulates the mind and is a very healthy past time. I would much rather my man conjure spells and be doing something constructive and fun than a belching,scratching yob leering at a football game.
The point I am making is that I know from first hand experience with my boyfriend that gamers love what they do with a passion so why are you ashamed of it?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I got sidetracked for a second there
My original reason for writing this drivel was that girls seemed to get a severe mocking when it comes to having an interest in Dnd.
I sit in my front room nearly every other day reading Ben's MM and pretty much every piece of literature he has on the subject. We have been together for a while now so it is not some failed attempt to impress him it is genuinely because I fine the whole subject fascinating.
I listen to him talk for hours on the phone about encounters he has had and his party members feats and I listen in awe.
What bugs me is why whenever girls talk about DnD or claim they know someting related to it we get laughed at!
Its like a no go area and having testosterone is your members only card.
My boyfriend recently posted a thread about gaming and girlfriends and my interest in it and someone wisely suggested that he should let me play at one of his games and get me actively participating.
As sweet (and naive) as this comment was, I would'nt dream of playing with a group of his friends as I would surely get laughed at, patronisingly patted on my head and may even get called "rookie" or asked to get make the drinks.

I bet there are so many girls on this earth who really want to play the game and be taken seriously. I bet there are girls on this site who probably know more about gaming than some men.
I admit that my appearance may be my down fall as I look like I would be more in tuned to the topic of cheerleading than talk of expeditions in Faerun.

There are not many girls I now who would want to pretend to be sun elfs and slay frost giants on a monday night but I am one of them ......so there

Our hobby is for everyone. If some guys can't get over women loving RPGs, that's their problem, not yours.

Sarajaine"The Solar" said:

I sit in my front room nearly every other day reading Ben's MM and pretty much every piece of literature he has on the subject. ...
I listen to him talk for hours on the phone about encounters he has had and his party members feats and I listen in awe.

Click to expand...

I do not believe you are who you say you are. He plainly stated that he and his girlfriend live together.
You plainly state that you talk to him on the phone.

These are contradictory statements.

If you are going to impersonate a mans girlfriend at least keep your facts straight.

Hello Sarajaine,

I don't know what is the big deal about girl playing DnD.

For years, I had at least 2 womans in my DnD group and we don't see any problem. They bring something different at the table and this good for all of us.

btw, i'm sure that plenty of guys around, will be glad to open their arms to you in their DnD group.

First of all, Sarahjaine, welcome to ENWorld!

Secondly, I can sympathize with your position. A lot of male gamers are not comfortable around female gamers, and that's their hangup to deal with. One thing about ENWorld you'll find is that there are LOTS of lady gamers here, young and mature, tall and small, etc. In fact, there are two other sites founded due to friendships made at ENWorld, and run or co-run by women gamers - Randomling's House, and Nothingland.

Also, what part of the world are you from? A lot of forum members here have in-person get togethers from time to time, and you may find you are closer to a more tolerant cadre of gamers than you think!

I hope you can enjoy the gamer conversation here, and if you need anything ask one of the Mods, and we'll all be glad to help if we can.

Well, hi! Welcome to the boards. It's kinda odd to start off with a rant, but I can understand the sentiment. Gamers are as diverse personality-wise as any other group of people, so it looks like you just unfortunately happen to know some gamers who don't respect women.

I know a large group of gamers - maybe 25 or 30 total who I hang out with semi-regularly. In my own games there are two women, and throughout the rest of the group there are four more. Three of the women are dating other gamers, and interestingly, among the men, only one guy has a significant other who is not a gamer.

I hope you'll feel welcome here. Make sure to put extra line spacings between your paragraphs from now on; makes them easier to read.

Sounds like he hangs out with a bunch of jerks. On my first date with the lady who would become my wife (who happens to be quite attractive), I told her about gaming. She had been brought up to believe that D&D was evil, but also enjoyed Star Trek, loved the hobbit and the lord of the rings, and played PC games.

Not only did I explain the game with her, but I immediately invited her to sit in on a session and after she showed interest, I encouraged her to play. I always wanted to find a lady who I could include in that part of my life.

Now, she is a GM.

My recommendation to you: Find a group and play if his friends are such immature jerks that women are not cool in their game. I can guarantee you that a lot of groups would be VERY appreciative of another female gamer in the group.

If you were close to us, then we'd invite you to play!

Also, couples gaming can be a ton of fun if you find another couple who games.

Hello,

I think that it varies from group to group how male gamers react to women playing. In both groups I game with there is one female (1 in 5 in one, 1 in 7 in the other) and they are treated the same as any other player, both by the DM and the other players. Depending on the age of the group you are talking about it may just be an issue of them needing to get a bit more mature and used to interacting with women (both in the gaming environment and RL), providing of course this thread is not just a troll.

MM

Sarajaine"The Solar" said:

<SNIP>
My original reason for writing this drivel was that girls seemed to get a severe mocking when it comes to having an interest in Dnd.
I sit in my front room nearly every other day reading Ben's MM and pretty much every piece of literature he has on the subject. We have been together for a while now so it is not some failed attempt to impress him it is genuinely because I fine the whole subject fascinating.
I listen to him talk for hours on the phone about encounters he has had and his party members feats and I listen in awe.
What bugs me is why whenever girls talk about DnD or claim they know someting related to it we get laughed at!
Its like a no go area and having testosterone is your members only card.
My boyfriend recently posted a thread about gaming and girlfriends and my interest in it and someone wisely suggested that he should let me play at one of his games and get me actively participating.
As sweet (and naive) as this comment was, I would'nt dream of playing with a group of his friends as I would surely get laughed at, patronisingly patted on my head and may even get called "rookie" or asked to get make the drinks.
<SNIP>

Click to expand...

I've only known a few female roleplayers, but except for a couple people who were just jerks to begin with, no male gamers I know treated them the way you describe here. Are you *sure* your boyfriends friends will treat you that way? I mean, have you tried to play and they've acted that way? If they did, it is certainly pretty rude and you or your boyfriend might want to just talk to them about it. If you don't want to to that, and you are really interested in playing, you might consider finding a different group where you and your boyfriend can play. He should be up for it. I know if *my* girlfriend were interested in gaming, I'd move heaven and earth to make sure it was a good experience for her. Someday I'll convert her... someday.

If I'm completely off the mark here, my apoligies, it is hard to tell exactly what happened based on your post. Or I might just be too tired to understand.

Sarajaine"The Solar" said:

The point I am making is that I know from first hand experience with my boyfriend that gamers love what they do with a passion so why are you ashamed of it?

Click to expand...

My gaming group consists of 50% male / 50% female gamers, not counting the GM (me). My girlfriend is a roleplayer too.
Even if that wouldn't be the case, I'd never ever be ashamed of it. There's no point in denying the facts.

Sarajaine"The Solar" said:

What bugs me is why whenever girls talk about DnD or claim they know someting related to it we get laughed at!
Its like a no go area and having testosterone is your members only card.

Click to expand...

I know of one such RPG group, and I'd never play with those people.
My girlfriend has played in such a group too (that was before we met, and I don't know any people of that group personally). Because of what she's told me about her experiences, I've got to agree with you:

My boyfriend recently posted a thread about gaming and girlfriends and my interest in it and someone wisely suggested that he should let me play at one of his games and get me actively participating.
As sweet (and naive) as this comment was, I would'nt dream of playing with a group of his friends as I would surely get laughed at, patronisingly patted on my head and may even get called "rookie" or asked to get make the drinks.

Click to expand...

Indeed, be careful. While the group doesn't have to be like that, it might be. Maybe you could attend one of their sessions, not as a player but as a visitor at first? If they're acting nice, think about joining - if not, don't.