Because I'm old(er) and I don't care anymore

Hey young whipper snapper! Here's your chance to read the embarassing stories of all the old fogeys on this board. Here's the deal: If you're over 21 post an embarassing story about yourself. The story must be about something really stupid you did when you were 21 or younger. I'll start:

When I was 18, after just joining the Air Force, I made up business cards for my first office. Thinking it would be funny, I put down my title as "Airman Basic/Male Prostitute" and handed them out to a few people. My boss found out and, needless to say, I got in a lot of trouble for that. I look back on it now and think "How could I have been so stupid?"

Your turn...

reveal said:

The story must be about something really stupid you did when you were 21 or younger.

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I was 16 and visiting a national park here in the US, and there was a book where visitors could write comments such as "It is beautiful, I was glad to come". So I try to figure something witty and funny I could write, and inscribe: "The park would look better if there was a statue of myself around" and then I put my name... My mother saw it and was furious. I screamed that she had no humor, and now many people were looking at us wondering what was happening. Then, I suddenly realized that with my name inscibed below the line, it looked not funny but plainly stupid.

I guess that 27 years later the book has totally disappeared.

Man, I've got a bunch!

The setting: High School Quad at luch time, on the grass. I was walking backwards, talking to some friends who were leaving campus, and tripped and fell on top of a girl who was sitting and reading.

The hottest girl in school ( homecoming queen of course! ) asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance when I was a sophmore, and I couldn't bring up my nerve to kiss her that night, so her friends told me that was over.

I got suspended form Jr High TWICE: Once for drinking a warm beer with friends behind the last building on campus one morning the first week of school. Turns out, that building was the teacher's lounge!

My second suspension was for hitting a girl in the forehead with a homemade chinese throwing star I made in Metal shop. Like an inch above her eye! My shoddy workmanship
was to blame, as it twisted in the wind and went like 120 degrees off course. I turned myself in for that one, but still got kicked out of Metals class. The class they gave me to fill that time slot? Model housebuilding in the woodshop! - ooh , much less hazardous!!!?

I've got a bunch more like these...

i was 16 or 17 can't remember. a buddy of mine from school was having a party. everyone knew about it.

i went and left when the police raided.

so i'm back home.

another friend's parents call and ask to speak to their son.... he had told them he was staying over dave's house (my real name is david). so thinking i was covering for him. i told them he'd gone out to get some cokes. this is about 10 o'clock at night.

an hour later. my parents wake me.

joe's parents are at the door.

i tell them the truth. that i hadn't seen joe all night.

boy did i get grounded.



anyway... monday comes and i find joe at school. he's yelling at me. i'm yelling at him.

his parents only had my phone number and i was the only dave they knew. he was staying over another dave's house and had gone to the party after the police had left.... he got busted and couldn't find his parents to bail him out... as they were over my house.

last time i ever tried to cover for someone...

Let's see. . . . If we leave out the 'Iceman' story and the 'Movie Theater Parking Lot' story for being non-grandma friendly, what am I left with?

Oh, yeah. 9th grade I worked in the morning announcements group at my high school. We'd read news and stuff over the intercom. Last day of school, on a dare, I sorta butchered the pledge of alliegiance. My punishment? Well, I was one of the top two students in the school, so they couldn't expel me, since that'd mess with me graduating and they weren't evil. And they couldn't suspend me, since it was the end of the year.

So they banished me.

Yes, I was banished. The official wording was something like, "You can never return to the Central 9th Grade campus." I was unable to take two of my final exams because of this, but my grades were good enough that I passed anyway.

The irony? The school was closed down over the summer, and the one I transfered to was a hell of a lot better.

Wish I could post one, I'm turning 17 soon and got a life-time full of funny moments.

Bryon_Soulweaver said:

Wish I could post one, I'm turning 17 soon and got a life-time full of funny moments.

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"life-time?" Dude, I'm twice as old as you.

I really can't think of anything. I'm so ashamed.

The first story reminds me of something funny I did when I was in my 20s, though.

I bought some of the mailing labels that you see advertised all the time in the mail and such. The label had 4 lines. The example given was like name, business, address, city. Since I had no business, I kind of felt like I wasn't taking advantage of as many lines as I could have been.

So, I come up with something clever, and for over a year I paid all my bills with a mailing label that read:

Curtis Bennett
Destroyer of Worlds
1535 W. 134th Terrace
Overland Park, KS

I just remember another!

I think I was 14. At that epoch, I loved sportscars (Porsche, Ferrari, Maserati, etc.). Now, my father was director of a small branch of a multinational company. He wasn't rich, but his business card has not been done properly, so in reading it, it looked like that my father simply was the chairman of the entire multinational company.

I decided to use that to my advantage: I wrote letters (handwritten, and with childish style) to all the major sportscar manufacturers. The problem is that I wrote something like: "Dear sir, I want to change my Porsche for something else, can you send me your catalogues so I can choose a new car? Thanks."

At first I simply got brochures and catalogues of Ferrari, Porsches, etc. I would spy on the mailbox and take them before my father would see them of course. But then Maserati directly wrote to his business office, and told him that they were bringing two brand new exceptional maserati from Italy, and that they would stop by his office to let him try them. It's when my father discovered I was using his business cards to fulfill my passion for sportscars... Fortunately he wasn't too harsh with me.

Turanil said:

It's when my father discovered I was using his business cards to fulfill my passion for sportscars... Fortunately he wasn't too harsh with me.

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did he let you test drive the Maseratis?