Ribbons, Fixed? Please view new version!

Ok, I upped the size, added spell-like abilities, added other things too. I also straightened out the text and clarified things. Comments of any sort are welcome and appreciated.

[edt: The olde version of them is below, the newest version is further down, I've shrunk this one to get it out of the way.

[sblock]Ribbons
Tiny Aberration (Swarm)
Hit Dice: 7d8
Initiative: +5
Speed: Fly 50ft
Armour Class: 19 (+5 dex, +4 size)
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/--
Attack: Swarm (2d6)
Full Attack: Swarm (2d6)
Space/Reach: 10ft/0ft
Special Attacks: Deafen, Distraction, Stun
Special Qualities: Blind sight 120ft., Detect thoughts, half damage from slashing and piercing, Partial ethereality, Spell-like abilities, Swarm Traits
Saves: Fort +3, Refl +6, Will +5
Abilities: Str 1, Dex 17, Con 14, Int 12, Wis 10, Cha 15
Skill: Hide +9, Move Silently +9, Listen +12, Spot +12
Feats: Alertness, Improved initiative, Great Fortitude
Environment: Any land
Organization: Solitary, String (2-4 swarms), Tangle (5-6), Hive (9-16)
Challenge rating: 6
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: None
Level Adjustment: --

A swirling mass of ribbon-like creatures winds towards you, darting about like a school of fish.

Ribbons appear to be long, thin streams of rubbery ‘creature’ with no discernable anatomy. The colour ranges though the spectrum, but mostly all appear pale and almost translucent, and they are always reflectively shiny. Those that survive attacks describe the ‘skin’ to be slimy, like seaweed, and the smell like ozone. The more observant have noted a faint pop and crackling noise with the beings approach.

Ribbons appear to be completely random in there location; you are just as likely to encounter these swarms in a ruined jungle temple as you are on a busy trade route. In recent years Ribbon hives have been found in sewers, and smaller Tangles in abandoned cellars. Ribbons are theorized to come from another plane although no proof has been found, on alternate planes or how they moved to the prime. Other sages dispute that they are a primal manifestation of ethereal energy.

Ribbons have a seeming fascination with magic, whether stored in items or otherwise. As such Ribbons, whilst not trying to face overpowering opponents, often seek out opponents based on the level of magic they use.

COMBAT:

When provoked Ribbons head straight for their attackers, and when unprovoked Ribbons may head for the first creature in sight. They seek to surround and overcome their victims. Ribbons deal 2d6 point of damage to any creature whose space it occupies at the end of the round. When seeking prey they often stalk and mislead their victims before attacking using their many spell-like abilities.

Deafen (Ex): Whilst inside the Ribbons space, a deafening buzz and crackle block out all other sounds, causing any creature within the Ribbons space to be deafened with a save, furthermore this penalty extends for a round after they leave the space if they fail a DC 15 fort save.

Detect Thoughts(Su): Ribbons can continuously detect thoughts as the spell, (DC 14 will save). It can suppress or resume this ability as a free action. The DC is charisma based.

Distraction (Ex): Any living creature that begins its turn with a swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based

Partial Ethreality (Su): As the ribbons swarm about they flicker into the ethereal, causing all attacks on them to suffer a 20% miss chance.

Spell-like Abilities: At will — Dancing Lights (DC 12), Ghost sound (DC 12), Arcane Sight (DC 15); 3/Day — Obscuring mist (DC 13), Silent Image (DC 13); 1/Day — Shatter* (DC 15) The ribbons Caster Level is equal to HD and all the DCs are charisma based.

*Shatter is only effective within the creatures space.

Stun (Ex): Upon entering the Ribbons space all living creatures are confronted with a tortuous experience of sounds and lights and must make a DC 15 Will Save or be stunned for a round.[/sBlock]

Any feedback on this would be cool, what I'm worried about is that it is a very random creature, but then I don't want it to be chaotic, just to have motive and plans beyond the normal. I could make them mindless but I want them to have minds, but I also don't want to up the Int loads. :\ <-sorted.

Read on for further problems/questions.

Question. Does the deafening allow a Fort save to avoid while in the swarm? Or is it only to avoid lingering deafness?

Demiurge out.

The fortitude save is only against the lingering effects, does that ned clarifycation?

Also I need idea on what else it can do, at the moment it just seems all too plain to me. I have some ideas, but I'm not sure about them; would adding Spell-like abilities work?

Here's a thought, although it may make them more powerful than you'd prefer...

What if one of their edges was sharp like a razor blade, an actual "keen" edge and everything? THEN they'd be worrisome!! They could literally slice YOU to ribbons!!!

As much fun that would be, upping the damage an all but it isn't what they are about. I dunno it doesn't sit right with how I think of them. Thanks all the same.

I'm fairly sure I want to up the CR of the creature or at least make it more interesting, I'm thinking of making use of it's intelligence (boosting it up), adding spell liek abilities, spell resistance etc...

The description says they are attracted to magic, but nothing is really done with this. Do they feed on magic in some way? They could have an attack that steals spells (like the Spell Thief class, maybe?) or they could have a dispel magic ability that represents their feeding. They already have Arcane Sight to spot the magic, then they could "eat" it with their Dispel attack.

If you're really feeling mean, you could have an ability where, say, 10 or more swarms together can do a Disjunction effect 1/day. Like a feeding frenzy.

The following nitpicks have been detected:

Stun - Change the ability to affect living creatures at the beginning of their turn and when entering the swarm's space. Alternatively, affect living creatures that enter the swarm's space and are occupying the swarm's space at the end of it's movement.

Deafen - Change 'with' to 'without'. Also, same timing change with the Stun ability. Consider consolidating both abilities into one for ease of reading.

Detect Thoughts - Purpose? Consider replacing this with Arcane Sight instead.

Hive Mind - Requires this ability to have the int score you want for the Ribbons. If it is meerly 'attracted' to the strongest magical aura detected with Aura Sight, then don't include it, and instead insert the Mindless quality. If you wish it to have any ability to use tactics or intelligently use it's spell-like abilities, Hive Mind is neccessary.

Consider making a weak area Dispel Magic effect as part of it's attack or something similar if you wish it to devour magic.

Solarious said:

The following nitpicks have been detected:

Stun - Change the ability to affect living creatures at the beginning of their turn and when entering the swarm's space. Alternatively, affect living creatures that enter the swarm's space and are occupying the swarm's space at the end of it's movement.

Click to expand...

Do you mean for this to take affect every round that the creature is in the swarms space? I might do this or I might have it only be able to effect someone once ever 24 hours as they adjust.

Solarious said:

Deafen - Change 'with' to 'without'. Also, same timing change with the Stun ability. Consider consolidating both abilities into one for ease of reading.

Click to expand...

Do you mean for me to change 'Within' to 'With in', if not could you explain further?

Solarious said:

Detect Thoughts - Purpose? Consider replacing this with Arcane Sight instead.

Click to expand...

To Detect thoughts, I supose this is only really useful in social situation but I wanted it so they could pre-empt tactics and so on.

Solarious said:

Hive Mind - Requires this ability to have the int score you want for the Ribbons. If it is meerly 'attracted' to the strongest magical aura detected with Aura Sight, then don't include it, and instead insert the Mindless quality. If you wish it to have any ability to use tactics or intelligently use it's spell-like abilities, Hive Mind is neccessary.

Click to expand...

I think I will make it have Hive-Mind, and put its unfathomable nature down to its other-worldly-ness.

Solarious said:

Consider making a weak area Dispel Magic effect as part of it's attack or something similar if you wish it to devour magic.

Click to expand...

I will it definately seems like the logical next step, good idea! I may have the Swarm drain magic a bit inside the swarm, anit-magicing 1st level spells to harsh? Nah...

I put of updated it because I would have like feedback on my feedback on Solarious' feedback, but decided to go ahead.

I've fixed the typo on the deafen ability, added the Hivemind ability, and the Lesser Anit-magic field.

Ribbons
Tiny Aberration (Swarm)
Hit Dice: 7d8
Initiative: +5
Speed: Fly 50ft
Armour Class: 19 (+5 dex, +4 size)
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/--
Attack: Swarm (2d6)
Full Attack: Swarm (2d6)
Space/Reach: 10ft/0ft
Special Attacks: Deafen, Distraction, Stun
Special Qualities: Blind sight 120ft., Detect thoughts, half damage from slashing and piercing, Hive-Mind, Lesser Antimagic field, Partial ethereality, Spell-like abilities, Swarm Traits
Saves: Fort +3, Refl +6, Will +5
Abilities: Str 1, Dex 17, Con 14, Int 12, Wis 10, Cha 15
Skill: Hide +9, Move Silently +9, Listen +12, Spot +12
Feats: Alertness, Improved initiative, Great Fortitude
Environment: Any land
Organization: Solitary, String (2-4 swarms), Tangle (5-6), Hive (9-16)
Challenge rating: 6
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: None
Level Adjustment: --

A swirling mass of ribbon-like creatures winds towards you, darting about like a school of fish.

Ribbons appear to be long, thin streams of rubbery ‘creature’ with no discernable anatomy. The colour ranges though the spectrum, but mostly all appear pale and almost translucent, and they are always reflectively shiny. Those that survive attacks describe the ‘skin’ to be slimy, like seaweed, and the smell like ozone. The more observant have noted a faint pop and crackling noise with the beings approach.

Ribbons appear to be completely unfathomable in there nesting, and nature; you are just as likely to encounter these swarms in a ruined jungle temple as you are on a busy trade route. In recent years Ribbon hives have been found in sewers, and smaller Tangles in abandoned cellars. Ribbons are theorized to come from another plane although no proof has been found, on alternate planes or how they moved to the prime. Other sages dispute that they are a primal manifestation of ethereal energy.

Ribbons have a seeming fascination with magic, whether stored in items or otherwise. As such Ribbons, whilst not trying to face overpowering opponents, often seek out opponents based on the level of magic they use.

COMBAT:

When provoked Ribbons head straight for their attackers, and when unprovoked Ribbons may head for the first creature in sight. They seek to surround and overcome their victims. Ribbons deal 2d6 point of damage to any creature whose space it occupies at the end of the round. When seeking prey they often stalk and mislead their victims before attacking using their many spell-like abilities.

Deafen (Ex): Whilst inside the Ribbons space, a deafening buzz and crackle block out all other sounds, causing any creature within the Ribbons space to be deafened with a save, furthermore this penalty extends for a round after they leave the space if they fail a DC 15 fort save.

Detect Thoughts(Su): Ribbons can continuously detect thoughts as the spell, (DC 14 will save). It can suppress or resume this ability as a free action. The DC is charisma based.

Distraction (Ex): Any living creature that begins its turn with a swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based

Lesser anti-magic field (Su): By some unearthly ken the Ribbons can drain weak magic from spells and items, the Ribbons space functions just like and anti-magic field that can only counter 2nd level spells, or magic items with a caster level of 3 or under. Further more for every spell level that is cancelled the Ribbons gain 2 temporary hit points up to a maximum of double the Ribbons hit dice.

Partial Ethreality (Su): As the ribbons swarm about they flicker into the ethereal, causing all attacks on them to suffer a 20% miss chance.

Spell-like Abilities: At will — Dancing Lights (DC 12), Ghost sound (DC 12), Arcane Sight (DC 15); 3/Day — Obscuring mist (DC 13), Silent Image (DC 13); 1/Day — Shatter* (DC 15) The ribbons Caster Level is equal to HD and all the DCs are charisma based.

*Shatter is only effective within the creatures space.

Stun (Ex): Upon entering the Ribbons space all living creatures are confronted with a tortuous experience of sounds and lights and must make a DC 15 Will Save or be stunned for a round.


Still looking for help on the suggestion above. Thanks for all the help