Ever had a Player Threaten you Like This?

MadMaxim · Sep 3, 2005

This came up a couple of weeks ago. I had been DM'ing my regular group for 2-3 sessions without the group's only female player because she was rehearsing her part for a play she was going to be in. So, I promised to play her elf wizard for her since none of the other players felt like they could handle two characters at a time.

So far so good, but I end up forgetting to play her character for those sessions and forget giving her half the XP that the other characters get (that's a houserule of mine; if you can't make it for a session, you're awarded only half the XP). Then all of the sudden she writes to me and tells me that if I don't give her a certain amount of XP or gold, she'll quit the game. This ultimatum came out of thin air, no warnings, no "hey, I think you forgot to give me XP for the last couple of sessions", just a plain "give me XP or I leave!"

This amount of XP would be enough to take her from 7th to 8th level in one go, and that's where the players who have been to every session just got. Now, I'm not an unreasonable man and I apoligized for my forgetfulness. If she had just mentioned it to me, she would have been awarded a suitable amount of XP, but instead she just throws demands on the table and threatens to quit. I was seriously tempted to kick her out of the game for the rudeness, but we settled it with half the XP and apology.

Now, my question to you is: Have you ever had similar "encounters" with your players? If so how did you deal with them? And would you have recommended me to do something else?

Ralts Bloodthorne · Sep 3, 2005

MadMaxim said:
This came up a couple of weeks ago. I had been DM'ing my regular group for 2-3 sessions without the group's only female player because she was rehearsing her part for a play she was going to be in. So, I promised to play her elf wizard for her since none of the other players felt like they could handle two characters at a time.

So far so good, but I end up forgetting to play her character for those sessions and forget giving her half the XP that the other characters get (that's a houserule of mine; if you can't make it for a session, you're awarded only half the XP). Then all of the sudden she writes to me and tells me that if I don't give her a certain amount of XP or gold, she'll quit the game. This ultimatum came out of thin air, no warnings, no "hey, I think you forgot to give me XP for the last couple of sessions", just a plain "give me XP or I leave!"

This amount of XP would be enough to take her from 7th to 8th level in one go, and that's where the players who have been to every session just got. Now, I'm not an unreasonable man and I apoligized for my forgetfulness. If she had just mentioned it to me, she would have been awarded a suitable amount of XP, but instead she just throws demands on the table and threatens to quit. I was seriously tempted to kick her out of the game for the rudeness, but we settled it with half the XP and apology.

Now, my question to you is: Have you ever had similar "encounters" with your players? If so how did you deal with them? And would you have recommended me to do something else?

Wow.

Only once. His PC made a really good NPC villian/traitor to the party though.

Crothian · Sep 3, 2005

Nope, never had this happen to me. But here's what I'd do. I'd write her back a polite e-mail apologizing for forgetting to use her character. In the message I would reward her the half XP as your group uses for missing players.

Ya, she might have been rude, but it doesn't seem like a big deal since as the rules you've set up, she should get some XP.

Ferrix · Sep 3, 2005

Perhaps she's under a lot of stress, or something like that. Sometimes people can flare up, and we should give them the benefit of the doubt regarding it. If this is the first time it's happened, let it slide, make up and give her the normal half-XP. She'll return to your game. Apologies should happen on both sides (you for forgetting to give her character XP, and her for blowing up).

It's a game, she might have taken it too seriously, but don't make that the precedent and do the same.

MadMaxim · Sep 3, 2005

Crothian said:
Nope, never had this happen to me. But here's what I'd do. I'd write her back a polite e-mail apologizing for forgetting to use her character. In the message I would reward her the half XP as your group uses for missing players.

Ya, she might have been rude, but it doesn't seem like a big deal since as the rules you've set up, she should get some XP.

I did write her a message apoligizing for the lack of XP as stated in my original post. It's just that I've never seen a reaction like that before. I guess she was upset about missing those sessions because of the play, but still... She knows when the sessions are and she's the one who chose to be in the play, so I can't really see why she turned all hostile on me like that.

EDIT: And I did give her the XP after she brought it up, of course.

Eeralai · Sep 3, 2005

Wow, you give absent players 1/2 exp? For my table, if you miss a session, you get nothing. Of course, if the rest of the PCs feel like sharing treasure with you, that is their perogative.

aceofgames · Sep 3, 2005

I've had a player react to me that way- repeatly, except he dwelled on harm to his character; if anything could kill his character, he would give the same ultimatum- give him what he wants, or he'd quit.

Eventually we had to kick him of out of our group, because how severe it had gotten. We didn't want to, since the amount of available players in our town is low or non-existent.

Crothian · Sep 3, 2005

MadMaxim said:
so I can't really see why she turned all hostile on me like that.

No idea, if its the first time she's gotten hostile, I'd let it go. If it continues then I'd talk to her about it.

JRRNeiklot · Sep 3, 2005

Personally, I'd apologize for forgetting the xp (I wouldn't give people that missed a game any, but that's just me, if it's a standard rule you use, then stick to it), then I'd tell her if she got uppity like that again, not to let the door hit her in the ass on the way out.

Qwillion · Sep 3, 2005

you should follow your own house rule and tell her accept it or walk

Personally I only award xp if you show up and your character is just not there but if it is your house rule it is your house rule.

Ever had a Player Threaten you Like This?

MadMaxim

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Ralts Bloodthorne

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Crothian

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Ferrix

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MadMaxim

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Eeralai

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aceofgames

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Crothian

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JRRNeiklot

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Qwillion

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