B
Bhryn Astairre
Guest
These are the RULES OF ENGAGEMENT. At one point or another, a character will undergo one of these fun little flaws and until we set them straight, they stay as a numbered individual. Take a look, where does your character fall guilty?
As copied from several sources, names added atop each section submitted:
Gene-Kynes
1. Most animals are actually fake-animals that can be turned back to human form if a human of the opposite gender happens to fall in love with them.
2.People with split personalities are to be avoided at all costs. They are being possessed by their other self who commands some great evil power.
3. Godmoders are the darkest, most depraved evil anyone could ever think of.
4. Every species is cross-fertile, be they gargoyle, phoenix, dragon, elf, god or werewolf.
5.After a show/movie, anime or otherwise, becomes popular, about a thousand clones of that show/movie pop up for about a month or so, until the next popular show/movie comes out, so they can copy that.
6.Every tavern, no matter HOW crowded, will always have one empty table apart from everybody else in a dark, secluded corner.
7.Every tavern, no matter HOW crowded, will always have one empty table apart from everybody else in a dark, secluded corner.
8.Once the newcomer sits at that table, a new empty table appears, in a new dark, secluded corner, to which the next newcomer will be instantly attracted.
9.Rarely will anyone notice anything happening in an inn besides their own conversation. Violent deaths are especially unlikely to draw anyone's attention.
10.All Gangrel, despite their age, have no Animal features to speak of. And are always Celtic. And have no manners.
11. Dante needs sleep badly.
12. Dante can talk in circles, and not make sense. Very useful skill.
13. Muted Faith is responsible for the proper form of most of these rants, and hilarity rights go to her, hatred goes to me.
14. Two words: Half-Kender, Half-Centaur.
Drindin
15. All relationships almost always end with one of the members in said relationship dies in some brutal, groutesque death at their own hands, be it falling on their swords or having their innards torn out by some unseen force.
Bhryn Astairre
16: There's never one set storyline, you can guarantee that someone, somewhere in the multiverses will see your concept and always try and adopt it for themselves, in the process mangling everything you have worked so hard to create and only end up fostering the "bad name" for a species. (this is a REAL pet hate of mine, grrr! ::foams at the mouth:: anyone who knows me, knows what I'm on about. Especially unfortunate Becca)
17: People go from sober to drunk in less than two seconds flat. If not, then they have the constitution of a stone.
18: Most people can't add up... after all, what's wrong with a half demon, half vampire, half sun elf, half zombie doctor, half fae dragon? (I'm sure I've seen someone close to this stupid combination)
19: We also learnt that Samara is truly evily, and I saw that movie once and ended up, on that night, unplugging my tv, computer, anything electrical in the student residense, putting my dressing gown over the television, sleeping with the curtains open and the lights all on and a knife in my hands... I wasn't scared at all heh... brrr... ring...
20: People have lost the scare factor. Nothing frightens anyone.
21: Try Reesa's brownies, they're yummy.
22: If a person IS of a particular race then you can count on the fact that she/he will lack any of their distinguishing faults and therefore will technically be unkillable, ranging from the nil fortitude on Vamps which make clerical spells oh so much darn fun, to the drow aversion to people and their heriarchy.
23: Even a man can love a mule... if a mule happens to have nice lingerie.
24: A scar is for life, not just a pretty accessory you can be rid of in ten seconds flat.
25: Babies are not bullets. Do not get pregnant and shoot them out of you like it was disgusting to your system. Pregnancy does suck, but it's a fun storyline so damn well cope.
26: "oops my dagger slipped" is not a suitable excuse.
27: Mmmm blueberry bagels :: steals LS's ::
28: Races have prejudices. Play them. It's uneeringly unnatural to find a drow and a sun elf sat chatting amiably at a table. The same goes for Celestials and Demons. Vampires too, would suffer these same drawbacks, seeing practically everyone not vampirical as "lunch" which I know Pan does she's a hungry girl. I've been criticised for Bhryn's prejudices as a Celestial, but quite simply, how can she be fully expected to trust a demon, devil or fiend, or even a vampire?
29: Suicide doesn't work... they always come back anyway.
AND finally 30: Theives should really keep to the shadows, it unnerves the customers otherwise... kind of like Pounamu and her broom... :: waits to get absolutely whapped for that ::
Ladyshade
31. People still haven’t learned that not everyone loves you as soon as you walk in the door. This is NOT the Greyhawk or Juxtan version of CHEERS and generally no one cares what your name is.
32. There is little middle ground. Either the person who DOES want to know what your name is, is going to teach you the meaning of light and goodness, OR you’re the next victim.
32 ½. No one has ever in the history of the tavern, just passed the peanuts. They either must be thrown, floated, slung, blasted into oblivion then recreated out of thin air in the proper spot, or grown from scratch.
33. The entire crowd of patrons on any given night can fit comfortably reclined on the bar.
34. Similar to # 33, The entire population of Juxta’s market can fit and move about freely in the ‘biggest tree’ in sight.
35. Leather has gone out of fashion as a variety of armor. It must be worn skin tight, cut low, and colored the brightest shade imaginable (unless black) or you might not be admitted to the building…or something…
36. Muscle cannot be allowed to hide behind clothing, regardless of weather or seasonal temperatures. It must bulge free and proud or it probably isn’t there.
37. If you have four paws and pass the threshold of the tavern, as far as Pou’s concerned, you’re fair game.
38. Arrows, fireballs, brooms, slaps, paper cuts, daggers and similar things can all be deflected with a brush of the arm so long as a person is in the middle of a an ‘important’ conversation. Through the very act of talking supernatural powers grant individuals special reflexes making them impervious to harm.
Rhane Arturant
39. No matter how quietly you say something, someone will always hear you, and, if it involves harming a person or persons, will instantly try to stop "u."
40. And no matter how good your hearing or sense of smell is, there's always someone behind you.
41. If your best entrance consists of 17 words or less, no one will be willing to RP with you unless theirs is even worse.
42. No matter what unknown and deserted forest your character happens to be walking through, even if it's the dead of night, within 2 minutes there are at least 3 other people who've said hello and 10 others hiding and watching from the shadows or bushes.
Never trust the ones who say hello. The ones in the shadows are always the good guys.
43. Death is a state of mind, rather than an actual condition brought about by being stabbed, immolated, chewed up, crushed, poisoned, drowned, beheaded, chopped into little tiny pieces and scattered across all nine continents and both moons, etc. No one's dead until they're bored.
44. If your character is a thief, don't even bother. No one has pockets. At least not while your character is in the room.
(i) -- Those who do have pockets carry no money or valuables. Again, at least not while your character is in the room.
(ii)----- Those few who have both pockets and money/valuables have the ability to sense your movements in spite of all subterfuge, thieving experience, light and quick hands, and invisibility spells.
(iii)------- Also, people know a thief by smell, and smell him as soon as he enters the room whether he's slipping about through the shadows or strolling in like he owns the place. They also know that he is a thief, whether or not he acts like one.
45. Any child character you come across is guaranteed to have none of the following: parents, respect for authority, proper clothing, food, a place to sleep, manners. However, they will all be such excellent professional thieves despite their tender age that you will never see them pick your pocket.
46. Pregnancies come to term in approximately 1-2 weeks. Children are 10 and able to speak 5 days later.
47. When attacking someone, either the whole tavern will leap to their defense or sit and pretend that it's not happening. There is no grey area.
48. In ye olde tavern, nobody uses the door. Ever.
49. Every tavern, inn, bar, and other assorted gathering is in the shape of an n-gon, where n is greater than the total number of evil characters in the dark corners. There must always be room for one more, after all.
50. No matter how many tables, chairs and bartenders are maimed and destroyed in bar-fights there always seems to be more...
51. No matter how much you run along screaming for help, nobody will hear you.
52. No matter what you do someone will always come in with a menagerie of 12 or more pets which proceed to explore the tavern.
53. No matter how small the room is, half the people will be in the rafters.
(i) --- Don't worry, the rafters are completely safe from your ****** off girlfriend.
(ii) ----- Until your best friend inevitably pushes you down.
54. Every female character has to have eyes of the most unlikely colors - seawater blue-green, stunning violet, shimmering silver, amber, etc. You will never ever see brown eyes or brown hair (unless it is 'chestnut locks' or 'chocolate curls').
55. In any combat scene, the last person to enter into the conflict will be not only inhumanly strong, intelligent, capable, and heroic, but will also end the conflict with one swipe of his or her ancient double-bladed kitana which was handed down from his or her father's father's father, who by the way, was a God and all-powerful, until he was killed by this person, who stole his power and so you can't defeat him anyway, nyah nyah.
Kathryn_aka_Kat
56. Slinky evening gowns are considered everyday wear for female adventurers.
57. People find it hard to be sympathetic to the plight of a character whose self or friend has just died... for the tenth time.
58. The more dramatic and loudly self-proclaimed high-level the evil villain, the more he/she will be ignored.
59. The more dramatic and loudly self-proclaimed high-level the good guy, the more he/she will be ignored *or* ridiculed.
60. The more people a spell is supposed to affect, the more likely it is to be ignored. E.g., sending a zap to one person does more damage and gets you more response than setting off a nuclear blast in the tavern.
61. If someone talks to you once, they're now required to interact with you in whatever way you wish for the rest of their lives. (Nope.)
62. The fountain in the Emporium is: (A) a few inches of water in a stone basin, (B) a large stone structure capable of 3 people climbing on it at once with a couple of feet of water at the bottom, (C) a pond-size body of water that people can dive into and swim around easily in, (D) whatever you want it to be.
:rofl: :looloo: enough said really... got any more to add? Post them here!!!
As copied from several sources, names added atop each section submitted:
Gene-Kynes
1. Most animals are actually fake-animals that can be turned back to human form if a human of the opposite gender happens to fall in love with them.
2.People with split personalities are to be avoided at all costs. They are being possessed by their other self who commands some great evil power.
3. Godmoders are the darkest, most depraved evil anyone could ever think of.
4. Every species is cross-fertile, be they gargoyle, phoenix, dragon, elf, god or werewolf.
5.After a show/movie, anime or otherwise, becomes popular, about a thousand clones of that show/movie pop up for about a month or so, until the next popular show/movie comes out, so they can copy that.
6.Every tavern, no matter HOW crowded, will always have one empty table apart from everybody else in a dark, secluded corner.
7.Every tavern, no matter HOW crowded, will always have one empty table apart from everybody else in a dark, secluded corner.
8.Once the newcomer sits at that table, a new empty table appears, in a new dark, secluded corner, to which the next newcomer will be instantly attracted.
9.Rarely will anyone notice anything happening in an inn besides their own conversation. Violent deaths are especially unlikely to draw anyone's attention.
10.All Gangrel, despite their age, have no Animal features to speak of. And are always Celtic. And have no manners.
11. Dante needs sleep badly.
12. Dante can talk in circles, and not make sense. Very useful skill.
13. Muted Faith is responsible for the proper form of most of these rants, and hilarity rights go to her, hatred goes to me.
14. Two words: Half-Kender, Half-Centaur.
Drindin
15. All relationships almost always end with one of the members in said relationship dies in some brutal, groutesque death at their own hands, be it falling on their swords or having their innards torn out by some unseen force.
Bhryn Astairre
16: There's never one set storyline, you can guarantee that someone, somewhere in the multiverses will see your concept and always try and adopt it for themselves, in the process mangling everything you have worked so hard to create and only end up fostering the "bad name" for a species. (this is a REAL pet hate of mine, grrr! ::foams at the mouth:: anyone who knows me, knows what I'm on about. Especially unfortunate Becca)
17: People go from sober to drunk in less than two seconds flat. If not, then they have the constitution of a stone.
18: Most people can't add up... after all, what's wrong with a half demon, half vampire, half sun elf, half zombie doctor, half fae dragon? (I'm sure I've seen someone close to this stupid combination)
19: We also learnt that Samara is truly evily, and I saw that movie once and ended up, on that night, unplugging my tv, computer, anything electrical in the student residense, putting my dressing gown over the television, sleeping with the curtains open and the lights all on and a knife in my hands... I wasn't scared at all heh... brrr... ring...
20: People have lost the scare factor. Nothing frightens anyone.
21: Try Reesa's brownies, they're yummy.
22: If a person IS of a particular race then you can count on the fact that she/he will lack any of their distinguishing faults and therefore will technically be unkillable, ranging from the nil fortitude on Vamps which make clerical spells oh so much darn fun, to the drow aversion to people and their heriarchy.
23: Even a man can love a mule... if a mule happens to have nice lingerie.
24: A scar is for life, not just a pretty accessory you can be rid of in ten seconds flat.
25: Babies are not bullets. Do not get pregnant and shoot them out of you like it was disgusting to your system. Pregnancy does suck, but it's a fun storyline so damn well cope.
26: "oops my dagger slipped" is not a suitable excuse.
27: Mmmm blueberry bagels :: steals LS's ::
28: Races have prejudices. Play them. It's uneeringly unnatural to find a drow and a sun elf sat chatting amiably at a table. The same goes for Celestials and Demons. Vampires too, would suffer these same drawbacks, seeing practically everyone not vampirical as "lunch" which I know Pan does she's a hungry girl. I've been criticised for Bhryn's prejudices as a Celestial, but quite simply, how can she be fully expected to trust a demon, devil or fiend, or even a vampire?
29: Suicide doesn't work... they always come back anyway.
AND finally 30: Theives should really keep to the shadows, it unnerves the customers otherwise... kind of like Pounamu and her broom... :: waits to get absolutely whapped for that ::
Ladyshade
31. People still haven’t learned that not everyone loves you as soon as you walk in the door. This is NOT the Greyhawk or Juxtan version of CHEERS and generally no one cares what your name is.
32. There is little middle ground. Either the person who DOES want to know what your name is, is going to teach you the meaning of light and goodness, OR you’re the next victim.
32 ½. No one has ever in the history of the tavern, just passed the peanuts. They either must be thrown, floated, slung, blasted into oblivion then recreated out of thin air in the proper spot, or grown from scratch.
33. The entire crowd of patrons on any given night can fit comfortably reclined on the bar.
34. Similar to # 33, The entire population of Juxta’s market can fit and move about freely in the ‘biggest tree’ in sight.
35. Leather has gone out of fashion as a variety of armor. It must be worn skin tight, cut low, and colored the brightest shade imaginable (unless black) or you might not be admitted to the building…or something…
36. Muscle cannot be allowed to hide behind clothing, regardless of weather or seasonal temperatures. It must bulge free and proud or it probably isn’t there.
37. If you have four paws and pass the threshold of the tavern, as far as Pou’s concerned, you’re fair game.
38. Arrows, fireballs, brooms, slaps, paper cuts, daggers and similar things can all be deflected with a brush of the arm so long as a person is in the middle of a an ‘important’ conversation. Through the very act of talking supernatural powers grant individuals special reflexes making them impervious to harm.
Rhane Arturant
39. No matter how quietly you say something, someone will always hear you, and, if it involves harming a person or persons, will instantly try to stop "u."
40. And no matter how good your hearing or sense of smell is, there's always someone behind you.
41. If your best entrance consists of 17 words or less, no one will be willing to RP with you unless theirs is even worse.
42. No matter what unknown and deserted forest your character happens to be walking through, even if it's the dead of night, within 2 minutes there are at least 3 other people who've said hello and 10 others hiding and watching from the shadows or bushes.
Never trust the ones who say hello. The ones in the shadows are always the good guys.
43. Death is a state of mind, rather than an actual condition brought about by being stabbed, immolated, chewed up, crushed, poisoned, drowned, beheaded, chopped into little tiny pieces and scattered across all nine continents and both moons, etc. No one's dead until they're bored.
44. If your character is a thief, don't even bother. No one has pockets. At least not while your character is in the room.
(i) -- Those who do have pockets carry no money or valuables. Again, at least not while your character is in the room.
(ii)----- Those few who have both pockets and money/valuables have the ability to sense your movements in spite of all subterfuge, thieving experience, light and quick hands, and invisibility spells.
(iii)------- Also, people know a thief by smell, and smell him as soon as he enters the room whether he's slipping about through the shadows or strolling in like he owns the place. They also know that he is a thief, whether or not he acts like one.
45. Any child character you come across is guaranteed to have none of the following: parents, respect for authority, proper clothing, food, a place to sleep, manners. However, they will all be such excellent professional thieves despite their tender age that you will never see them pick your pocket.
46. Pregnancies come to term in approximately 1-2 weeks. Children are 10 and able to speak 5 days later.
47. When attacking someone, either the whole tavern will leap to their defense or sit and pretend that it's not happening. There is no grey area.
48. In ye olde tavern, nobody uses the door. Ever.
49. Every tavern, inn, bar, and other assorted gathering is in the shape of an n-gon, where n is greater than the total number of evil characters in the dark corners. There must always be room for one more, after all.
50. No matter how many tables, chairs and bartenders are maimed and destroyed in bar-fights there always seems to be more...
51. No matter how much you run along screaming for help, nobody will hear you.
52. No matter what you do someone will always come in with a menagerie of 12 or more pets which proceed to explore the tavern.
53. No matter how small the room is, half the people will be in the rafters.
(i) --- Don't worry, the rafters are completely safe from your ****** off girlfriend.
(ii) ----- Until your best friend inevitably pushes you down.
54. Every female character has to have eyes of the most unlikely colors - seawater blue-green, stunning violet, shimmering silver, amber, etc. You will never ever see brown eyes or brown hair (unless it is 'chestnut locks' or 'chocolate curls').
55. In any combat scene, the last person to enter into the conflict will be not only inhumanly strong, intelligent, capable, and heroic, but will also end the conflict with one swipe of his or her ancient double-bladed kitana which was handed down from his or her father's father's father, who by the way, was a God and all-powerful, until he was killed by this person, who stole his power and so you can't defeat him anyway, nyah nyah.
Kathryn_aka_Kat
56. Slinky evening gowns are considered everyday wear for female adventurers.
57. People find it hard to be sympathetic to the plight of a character whose self or friend has just died... for the tenth time.
58. The more dramatic and loudly self-proclaimed high-level the evil villain, the more he/she will be ignored.
59. The more dramatic and loudly self-proclaimed high-level the good guy, the more he/she will be ignored *or* ridiculed.
60. The more people a spell is supposed to affect, the more likely it is to be ignored. E.g., sending a zap to one person does more damage and gets you more response than setting off a nuclear blast in the tavern.
61. If someone talks to you once, they're now required to interact with you in whatever way you wish for the rest of their lives. (Nope.)
62. The fountain in the Emporium is: (A) a few inches of water in a stone basin, (B) a large stone structure capable of 3 people climbing on it at once with a couple of feet of water at the bottom, (C) a pond-size body of water that people can dive into and swim around easily in, (D) whatever you want it to be.
:rofl: :looloo: enough said really... got any more to add? Post them here!!!
anywho...my five and ahalf eights of a cent..
