Confession...It's good for the soul.

Eh, let's just do this thing AA style...

My name is Nate and I abandon PbP games.

I'm not a malicious person, nor really an irresponsible person. I think it's just that my interest and enthusiasm burn brightly for a short time, and then I burn out. But I always feel so bad about it (all the while hoping I'll get the fire back) that I inevitably just disappear without explanation. And then after a while, the desire to DM or play (usually DM) wells up again. But in the meantime, I've gone silent, the game has lost its momentum, and sometimes the interest of its players. So, rather than try to get a good thing rolling again, I usually just start over from scratch...often with a different screen identity.

How many of these ring a bell?

Malvoisin
Ye Olde Albatross
Krago o' the Mountain
Krauss von Espy (Heinz the Baron)
Cry Havoc!
Outrigger Jim
Sebastian O
Professor Parsnip
Watermark12
...probably some others, shorter lived, that I can't recall

Yep, they're all me.

So, why am I posting this here and now? I guess just because it's been my guilty little secret for so long, and I miss being able to interact with the excellent community on these boards. And, as the thread title says, confession is good for the soul.

Also, I wanted to just apologize to the many of you that I've abandoned. Some of you, many times over. But, we've had some good times, haven't we? I know I have. A few highlights come to mind...

I enjoyed running Voadam, Isida, Insight, and JimAde (now Ilium) through the very early part of Maure Castle. I still to this day can't believe how you guys took down that !

Age of Worms, abandoned by me, picked up again by Branding Opportunity (then again by someone else, and perhaps again a fourth time?) I thought that was funny.

Hollow's Last Hope...great party there. Nazhkandrias, Jebbo was priceless.

Some really interesting concepts for Vampires of Waterdeep. Voadam's aranea in particular. I noticed more recently he got placed in another VoW game...that also folded (that one wasn't me though!).

Ryan Nock was so supportive when I tried to start up War of the Burning Sky. That campaign deserves better than I could muster...it's really very cool.

I think I tried to run Shackled City more than any other...five times maybe in total? Dichotomy, I really did like how you played Konstantine. A great bard. And Jdvn1, Dowlee the Favored Soul got abandoned twice. I'm so sorry.

And, my magnum opus, that lasted longer than any other, but still ended far too soon...The Savage Tide. My hat's off to all of you guys, especially those who were there from the start. I lost my heart for it after GwydapLlew disappeared, I loved Chongo so. Even though I tried more recently to cast resurrect, I couldn't get the juices flowing like before. Especial apologies to James Heard for putting in all that time creating Hap, and never getting to post once.

All these games, and so many, many others. Sunless Citadel, assorted Dungeon Crawl Classics, Necromancer adventures, numerous Dungeon magazine adventures. In the end, I couldn't sustain any of them.

When all is said and done, I hope you all will forgive me, even if you don't understand me. I hardly do myself. But, hey, if anyone wants to talk about it (even to chew me out), I'm here.

Thanks for reading, all.

Oh. My. Goodness.

I think I've been in games run by five of your different screen names.

Wow.

I know, Voadam...you deserve perhaps the biggest apology of all, just for that reason.

Perhaps on the brighter side, you can tell that I think highly of you as a player?

I laughed......

Malvoisin, you rock! I have only two screen names here and one of 'em I really have only used for two or three posts, but I'd be lying if I said I haven't been tempted to re-boot different campaigns (City of the Spider Queen, I'm lookin' at you) under different "DM" names. Hats off to you for your honesty.

I always did like Ye Olde Albatross.

I recall Silence, the cleric in your Maure Castle game, the one who had, logically, taken the Vow of Silence, with great fondness. PbP was such a great medium to play that character, and I had a lot of fun in that game.

CanadienneBacon said:

I laughed......

Malvoisin, you rock! I have only two screen names here and one of 'em I really have only used for two or three posts, but I'd be lying if I said I haven't been tempted to re-boot different campaigns (City of the Spider Queen, I'm lookin' at you) under different "DM" names. Hats off to you for your honesty.

I always did like Ye Olde Albatross.

Click to expand...

CB, thanks for your supportive words! I have a tremendous amount of respect for your terrific DMing skill as well.

I think one of my issues is that although I truly do enjoy playing and DMing on these boards, I hold myself to a very high standard in doing so. In order to commit to that high standard, I inevitably have to begin sacrificing some other part of my life in order to make time for PbP. Sooner or later, that always catches up to me, leaving me conflicted and often feeling guilty.

I say all this because I wonder, with your comings and goings, if you don't experience a similar thing.

Isida Kep'Tukari said:

I recall Silence, the cleric in your Maure Castle game, the one who had, logically, taken the Vow of Silence, with great fondness. PbP was such a great medium to play that character, and I had a lot of fun in that game.

Click to expand...

Thanks, Isida. I had a lot of fun DMing Maure as well. I think that may have been the first time I tried to use a scan of a published map as a play aide for the players. I think it worked fairly well, but it was difficult, because the map is so flippin' huge!

Part of the reason I had to bail on that one is that I was over my head in terms of power level. Not the last time that happened, mind you...but I seemed to always do better with lower level games.

I have no doubt that other people have pulled off a similar "changing of identities" around here, though yours may well be the most extreme.

You only abandoned two games that I was in, and you are forgiven...though I am definitely missing Savage Tide. Anar was a favorite PC of mine.

Still, props for having the stones to come on here and admit to the changing screen names! It shows rare character.

One point: Other people might change their names, but I'll never be a "Jim" Heard. For some reason the idea of me as a Jim just sort of summons images of me looking in the mirror with a Burt Reynolds moustache and mutton chops, wearing a big cowboy hat and snarling with a cigarette dangling from my lip. I'm not that guy.