Ambyr (with racial levels!): Please, help me balance this race!

Here's my fourth race posted on these boards! Check my sig for the other three. As usual, questions, comments, and feedback is appreciated!

THE AMBYR
Ambyrs are vicious, unfriendly hunters and survivors that are live in the lush jungles of western Quenash, unbeknownst to a majority of the people that settled in these lands. Ambyrs are viewed as selfish and cruel because they abandon their young, and force them to fend for themselves at an early age. They are commonly referred to as the “spider-folk” by the natives of Quenash.

Ambyrs are blessed with excellent vision that allows them to hunt much like cats do. Despite having naturally frail bodies, their sheer physical strength makes up for this weakness. Ambyrian society is built upon a strange foundation (at least in the eyes of an outlander) that it does not need the concept of family or clan-structures in order to thrive. An ambyrian society is refereed to as a cluster, and usually consists of few hundred ambyrs.

Male ambyrs outnumber females 20 to 1. Their societies are strictly matriarchal. Female ambyrs tend to be larger and more powerful than the males. Mating is quite uncommon in ambyrian society and avoided if at all possible (at least by the males). The reason for this is that male ambyrs die shortly after mating. A female ambyr can produce up to 2000 eggs but roughly 2% survive to maturity.

Since ambyrs mature very quickly, all ambyrs are expected to be independent and self-sufficient at an early age. When they have reached a certain age they are simply abandoned by their brood. Ambyrs are never alone in this endeavor and always venture with at least 10 other young. They then receive vague descriptions and instructions to find a specific place refereed to as the temple of trials. They are also told to bring something from the temple as evidence that they have been there and survived.

The journey itself can take months, even years to complete because of the vast size of the jungle. The biggest problem that the group faces is not the predators found within the jungle, but to concentrate on finding the temple at all. More often then not, ambyrs have a hard time staying focused. They constantly seem ready to start new activities or responsibilities, but have trouble bringing these undertakings to a successful conclusion. When faced with obstacles or too much pressure, ambyrs tend to become frustrated and quite intolerant. This often leads to frictions within the group and it is not unheard that many parties split and go separate ways. Those that survive long enough in the jungle to eventually find temple and pass the tests will be find a map that reveals the correct path to their cluster. Surviving this ordeal earns the ambyr respect among their peers and is a sign that an ambyr has reached adulthood and is ready to face the council.

An ambyr looks like a cross between spider and human: the lower body is that of a spider, with roughly humanoid upper body, arms and hands. Ambyrs are not bipedal and has six, spindly legs instead. The extra legs make them natural leapers and ambyrs can jump long distances. They have only three fingers, including the thumb that resembles sharp claws, but cannot be used to any great effect. Their body is covered with hairy, chitinous plates that protect them from harm somewhat.

An ambyr has eight, black eyes that are grouped four on the face (two big eyes in the middle, and two smaller eyes to the side), and four one the top of the carapace (two medium-sized eyes toward the back, and two very small eyes in front of them. The big eyes have high perception but a small field of view, and the remaining six eyes act much like humanoid vision, with lower resolution but broad field of view.

Those that look directly into any eyes of an ambyr might see it momentary changing color. When the eyes are at it is darkest, the onlooker knows that the ambyr is looking straight back at him.

AMBYR RACIAL TRAITS

• +2 Strength, -2 Constitution, -2 Wisdom: Ambyrs are exceptionally strong, but suffers from low stamina and have a hard time remaining focus.
• Monstrous Humanoid: Unlike most other races, ambyrs are not humanoid, but Monstrous Humanoid.
• Medium Size: As medium creatures, ambyrs have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
• Ambyr base land speed is 30 feet.
• Low-light Vision: Ambyrs can see twice as far as a human in starlight, moonlight, torchlight, and similar conditions of poor illumination. They retrain the ability to distinguish color and detail under these conditions.
• Stability: Ambyrs are exceptionally stable because of their six spindly legs. An ambyr gains a +4 bonus on ability checks made to resist being bull rushed or tripped when standing on the ground.
• Leap: An ambyr is treated as a bipedal creature for the purpose of determining its maximum vertical reach for all Jump DCs.
• Unusual Body Shape: Because of an ambyr’s unusual body shape, they cannot wear standard humanoid armor and must use barding instead. Ambyrs cannot wear belts, boots, cloaks or gloves designed for humanoids.
• +2 racial bonus to Jump checks: Ambyrs have powerful legs that make them natural jumpers.
• +2 racial bonus to Search and Spot checks: Their eight eyes make ambyrs remarkably observant and attentive.
• Natural Attack: An ambyr’s jaws are filled with fangs and it may use its bite as a natural weapon, making 1 attack that deals 1d4 points of piercing damage (plus Strength bonus). An ambyr can attack with a weapon at its normal attack bonus and make one bite attack as a secondary attack (-5 penalty on the attack roll, and half Strength bonus on the damage roll).
• Natural Armor: An ambyr’s body is covered by shell or carapace that provide ambyrs with a +1 natural armor bonus to Defense
• Automatic Languages: Common and Ambyrian. Bonus Languages: Any.
• Racial Levels: Unlike humans and some other races, an ambyr can take few levels in "ambyr" as a class to develop their racial qualities more fully.

AMBYR LEVELS
Ambyrs can take up to three levels in "ambyr" at any time. Not all ambyr, however, take racial levels (or all three of them).
Hit Dice: d8.

SKILLS
Skill Points at 1st Character Level: (2 + Intelligence modifier) x 4.
Skill Points at Higher Levels: 2 + Intelligence modifier.
"Class" Skills: The ambyr’s class skills (and the key ability for each skills) are Balance (Dex), Climb (Str), Craft (Int), Intimidate (Cha), Jump (Str), Move Silently (Dex), Profession (Wis), Spot (Wis), and Survival (Wis).


CLASS FEATURES
Weapon and Armor Proficiency: Ambyrs are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, and light armors, but with no shields.
Sharpsighted (Ex): At 1st level, the ambyr’s visual keenness improves. His racial bonus on Search and Spot checks increases to +4. In addition, the ambyr’s low-light vision increases in range, allowing him to see three times as far as a human in starlight, moonlight, torchlight, and similar conditions of poor illumination.
Climb Speed (Ex): At 2nd level, the ambyr gains climb speed 20 feet. The ambyr has a +8 racial bonus on any Climb check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard. He can always choose to take 10 on a Climb check, even if distracted or endangered.
Great Leaper (Ex): At 3rd level, an ambyr can move up to twice their speed (60 feet) for the purpose of all Jump DCs when performing a running start. The ambyr gains a +12 bonus on Jump checks (as detailed in the Jump skill description) as a result of its increase in speed, in addition to the ambyr’s racial bonus. The ambyr can use this ability once per racial level.


- List of changes to the Ambyr race - 12/12-03 -
- Changed bite damage to piercing
- Reworded the Cha penalty a little bit
- Removed bonuses to Hide and Spot checks
- Changed base land speed to 30 ft.
- Completly changed the 'Natural Leaper' Class Feature to match the new base land speed.

- Completely revamped the flavor text to match the Ambyrs racial traits and eventually racial class
- Changed Cha penalty to Wis penalty and reworded the description slightly
- Added low-light vision to the Ambyr racial traits
- Added +2 racial bonus on Search and Spot checks
- Renamed Natural Leaper to Great Leaper
- Moved Great Leaper to 3rd level on the Ambyr racial class
- Removed the Improved Chitinous Hide gained at 3rd level
- Added the Sharpsighted ability to 1st level on the Ambyr racial class
- Added Survival to racial skill list
- Removed Hide and Tumble from the racial skill list

The first thing that leapt out at me was the bite. Why would a bite do slashing damage?

They are medium sized and have powerful (if spindley) legs. So why do they have a speed of 20 feet?

You speak of a lack of focus in the flavah but you don't reflect that below. A lack of focus, IMO, is a Wisdom penalty. You choose to give them a Charisma penalty, which pushes this class into an "everyones a warrior" mold. A bonus to Strength, even taking into accound the Con penalty, added together with a Charisma penalty says that every up Ambyr will be a barbarian or fighter.

On a nit-picky, pseudo anthropological note: if a creature capable of expressing feelings, it will in some way or another, even if their culture does not encourage it. I feel like you wanted to make them vulcan-like, with a very flat expression and very little emotion (the lazy roleplayer's dream LOL) but you didn't want to overbalance them by giving them a bonus against emotional effects, which they would logically (heh heh heh) get.

My suggestion: break out of the emotionless, analyitical bug and make them a passionate race of arachnoid artists.

Along the same vein, a culture that can disolve the concept of family or clan has to be socially quite advanced--have reached a stage wherein the society can provide for all young equally until they are old enough to test into their caste. Either that, or ambyr culture would have to tend toward evil and simply abandon their young (who would have to mature very quickly) until those that survived returned to be tested.

Unless all ambyrs are male, technically they look like a cross between a spider and a human (not a man). I also need to point out that for ambyrs to seem arachnoid, they would need another pair of legs (preferred) or another set of arms (this would move into ECL issues).


My overall suggestions:
* make the flavah text more consistant and helpful from an RP standpoint (since that is the only reason it is there).

* +2 Strength, -2 Constitution, -2 Wisdom (this way they can be expressive but easily distracted).
* Monsterous Humanoid (makes sense)
* Medium Size
* Ambyr base land speed is 30 feet.
* Multipedal: Ambyrs are exceptionally stable because of their six? spindly legs. An ambyr gains a +4 racial bonus on ability checks made to resist being bull rushed or tripped when standing on the ground. In addition they gain a +2 racial bonus to balance checks.
* Leap: An ambyr is treated as a bipedal creature for the purpose of determining its maximum vertical reach for all Jump DCs. In addition, it gains a +2 racial bonus on jump checks.
* Unusual Body Shape: Because of an ambyr’s unusual body shape, they cannot wear standard humanoid armor and must use barding instead. Ambyrs cannot wear belts, boots, cloaks or gloves designed for humanoids.
* Natural Attack: An ambyr may use its bite as a natural weapon, making 1 attack that deals 1d4 points of piercing damage (plus Strength bonus). An ambyr can attack with a weapon at its normal attack bonus and make one bite attack as a secondary attack (-5 penalty on the attack roll, and half Strength bonus on the damage roll).
* Natural Armor: Their hairy, chitinous plates provide ambyrs with a +1 natural armor bonus to AC.
* Automatic Languages: Common and Ambyrian. Bonus Languages: Any.

I took out the racial spot and hide bonuses. The was nothing in the flavah that indicated such a bonus. I added in the balance bonus. I changed slashing to piercing in the bite attack.

And may I ask what saving throw progression you're using for the racial levels? Why not just use the standard progressions?

hope that helps.

DC

Thanks for the feedback, DreamChaser! Very helpful! I don't mind at all if you’re being nit-picky, I love to see/hear things from different angles. Might even give me other ideas that I can use to improve the race.

Yeah, the slashing damage thing was a mistake: it should be piercing as per the MM. Must have forgotten to change it when I copied it from another race. The reason behind the Cha penalty was originally their inability to express emotions/feelings. I figured that lack of focus could also mean that they would be more chaotic rather than lawful, but I guess Wis penalty could work as well.

I know next to nothing about vulcans except that they're in Startrek. I am actually seeing this the opposite way: I would think it would be harder to roleplay ambyrs because such concepts are not as well-defined as in other societies/cultures. So instead of saying "I am afraid, I don't want to go down there," an ambyr must relay this some other way. But I can see where you’re coming from, and that "lazy players" would probably take advantage of it. Take note that I am not saying that they don't exist, because they do exist in ambyrian society, its just that they "don't get it" unless it is explained to them. Don't know how to explain it ... it's kinda alien to them simply put it. So they do indeed feel hate, fear, love, hope etc. Perhaps the text is a tad confusing ... I will have to look over it again.

Interesting notion about the family/clan thing. Never saw it from that point of view. I like it a lot actually. I am still undecided whether they would simply abandon their young or not ... what do you think would work best?

I already have too many passionate and artistic races, so can't take you up on that suggestion I always seem to forget to mention that I use heavily modified d20 Modern basic classes, and not the standard core classes. That's the reason for the Def column and strange saving throws. Ambyrs are heavily influenced by arachnids, as you probably see by now.

I will take a few of your suggestions into consideration. Mainly removing some skill bonuses, adding a pair of legs, and upping their base land speed. Thanks again for the feedback and your interest in this thread! Much appreciated

Done some changes to the Ambyr as detailed in the first post. Perhaps the Natural Leaper class feature is to powerful now. What do you think?

I will aslo try to change the flavor text somewhat to match the Ambyr's racial traits better as per DreamChaser's suggestion.

More changes!

I have determined to go a different route with the ambyr and make them similar to the spiders that inspired this race, the Salticidae if I recall correctly. They are also known as the jumping spiders. This means that I will give ambyrs increased vision and perception despite having a penalty to Wisdom (they still lack focus). The emotion/feeling entry gave me too much headache, so I decided to remove it completely. Don’t want people to scream “vulcans” or anything when they read about this race.

Here's a rundown of what has changed this time:
- Completely revamped the flavor text to match the Ambyrs racial traits and eventually racial class
- Changed Cha penalty to Wis penalty and reworded the description slightly
- Added low-light vision to the Ambyr racial traits
- Added +2 racial bonus on Search and Spot checks
- Renamed Natural Leaper to Great Leaper
- Moved Great Leaper to 3rd level on the Ambyr racial class
- Removed the Improved Chitinous Hide gained at 3rd level
- Added the Sharpsighted ability to 1st level on the Ambyr racial class
- Added Survival to racial skill list
- Removed Hide and Tumble from the racial skill list

So what do people think of these changes? Is it too powerful now? Please help me out! Thanks!

I think I'll give the Ambyr one last *bump* before posting my next race, just to see if anyone has any comments on the last set of changes done to this race.