Funniest Moments

I was sitting here bored at my computer screen, when i had an epiphany. Why not ask the really experienced players what some of the funniest moments in their gaming careers were? And surely some of the newer players would have something to contribute as well.....i may be new but i know D&D is all about the funny moments (among other things). So heed my call, my minions, and join my thread, and make it epic in its notoriety......

I know I've listed some of these here before but I'd have to say one of the funniest moments in my game was when one of the guys critically hit himself.

We were playing a SW one shot and he set off a missile. Before it hit it's target, the rest of us wiped out all the other targets. SO...the missile locked on to the closest target to hit which was HIM! He rolled to see if it hit. He did and it was a crit. THEN to make matters worse he rolled max damage possible.

He died. But it was so amusing no one cared.


Then there was the time, before I was part of the group, when the rest of my group left their horses in an enclosed area that they KNEW they would not be able to get back to once they went through a portal. They wound up with 4 dead horses. Poor horsies...

terrible.....as far as i can see...i think i may go and change my name and give up on starting threads.....

(joke)

A lot of moments are funny in the moment but removed they loss their halirity. Dispite that, I'll post some anyway

I'm explaining how deadly Star Wars can be compaired to a normal D&D game which everyone was familiar. I stated that dead characters stay dead, no bakta tank is quite that powerful. So, the guy who used to play the cleric says "Guess diamond dust is worthless now." It was fuinny at the time

We had one...not exactly that funny now but you see we had a gnome in our party, and he was quite the talker, wat with diplomacy and all, and bluff........so he tried to smack a peasant across the head for trying to take our treasure (though he had been there before us) and he rolled a 1....so then to the peasant he said he was trying to give him a back massage, and of course, he rolled a 20......so the peasant got his back massage....funny then...kind of lame now

but hey

P>S>-he used a light mace

I was playing in a Hero Game and critically failed a perception check. In the gloom of the sewage tunnels it was difficult to see where the zobies would come from next. Suddenly the 18 on the dice was looking up at me and something was moving in the water around my feet.....I shot it with the USAS Streetsweeper Automatic shotgun......It was 2 weeks in game before I could walk again.

The game is GURPS, I'm playing a member of a reptiloid underground race who's currently in an elven village and has just waken up with a nasty hangover from being drunk the evening before.
Me (doing my best hangover acting): "Mrgrz..."
Elf: "Wake up, we've got to go, it's late"
Me: "What's that shiny yellow thingy in the sky?"
Elf: "It's the sun!"
Me: "...put it off..."

-----------------

Another time, in a kinda low-roleplaying, epic-level, beer-n-pretzels game, I was talking to the ruler of a powerful city-state.
Me: "You will do what I say".
NPC: "Mind what you say!"
Me (rolling): "He is bloody well going to do what I say. Diplomacy!"
DM: "You aren't actually being much diplomatic. What have you rolled?"
Me: "49"
DM: "Uh... ok..."

Same game, some time later.
Me: "I ready an action to counterspell".
DM: "Ok, next..."
Me: "Hey, wait! I also cast two maximized polar rays at him"
DM: "Just how many quickened spells do you have?"
Me: "All of them, duh!"

-----------------

Elf has just climbed a tree in a thick forest to see where we're going.
Party: "What do you see from up there?"
Elf: "Laaaaand in siiiiiight!!"

-----------------

Playing Vampire.
ST: "Roll willpower, target number 6".
Me: "Fail"
Other guy: "Botch"
Me: "No, with the new rules you only botch if you roll no successes at all"
Other guy: "Oh, ok. Then it's a fail"

Some time later (after some running and screaming).
ST: "Roll willpower, target number 6".
Me: "Double botch... uhm, I'm spending a willpower point to cancel the botch"
Other guy: "Uhm... I think I'll have to do the same"
ST: *sigh*

Much time later (after much running and screaming).
ST: "Roll willpower, target number 5".
Other guy: "Botch... I'm spending another willpower..."
Me: "Heck, I'm down to willpower 3, at least I can't roll more than 3 ones"
*roll*
Me: "Aaand... triple botch!"
Other guy: "I suggest we just go back to the prince and tell him that this guy is too tough for us..."

-----------------

Cyberpunk 2.0.2.0 game which has taken a star-trekkish turn. We're talking with some aliens.
PC1, off the radio: "The sensors we have don't detect any weapons on their ship, I say we can take them on!"
Me: "Uh... is your ship armed?"
Aliens: "Lightly"
Me: "What are your weapons capable of?"
Aliens: "We only have small weapons here. We can destroy small planets"

-----------------

Planescape, the Abyssal campaign, the PCs are fighting for their lives in the bowels of an Abyssal prison and the psion is being grappled by a monstrous bear.
Psion: "Fireball them! I'm still in good health and I have excellent reflex saves and evasion!"
Wizard: "Uhm... you sure?"
Psion: "C'mon! You'll never get them this packed again!"
Wizard: "Ok, fireball in the bunch of them"
Wizard rolls.
Wizard: "Uhm... you'd better make that roll, you know"
Psion: "Fail. Well, I still have 54 HP, how much damage is it?"
Wizard: "The Abyss automatically Enhances all evocations, I told you when we arrived here!"
Psion: "So?"
Wizard: "67!"
Psion: "WHAT?"
DM (me): "On the plus side, the bears are fried. Your imp familiar says 'nice shot boss! Next time have him sign his soul to you before though!'"

Same game.
DM: "The vrock lifts his arms and chants"
PC: "Oh noo! He's summoning another one!"
DM: "Another vrock appears in mid-air, covered in foam and dripping water, with a large brush and a piece of soap in its claws. It glares at the first demon and then at you"

---------------

Dragonlance (beer'n'pretzels game). I'm the DM.
Alienist: "I'm going to summon a balor!"
DM: "WhAt Do YoU aSk Of Me MoRtAl?"
Alienist: "Mighty demon, smite my foes!"
DM: "We WiLl HaVe To AgReE oN a SuItAbLe PaYmEnT..."
Alienist: "What are thy requests?"
DM: "Oh, I think about some thousand GPs and a dozen souls or so... maybe we can have lunch together to discuss the details"
Alienist: "Uhm... what happened to the scary demon voice?"
DM: "The fiend says that it makes his throat hurt"

Same game, same alienist.
Alienist: "I tire of this! I'm going to summon the biggest Pit Fiend I can find!"
DM: "WHO DARES SUMMON..."
Cleric (w/ travel domain): "Teleport without error away from here!"
DM: "...BAALZEPHON OF THE DARK EIGHT?"
Rest of the party: "We jump on the cleric! Get us out too!"
Alienist: "...bastards"

Actually, now that I remember, the last one was slightly different.

Alienist: "I tire of this! I'm going to summon the biggest Pit Fiend I can find!"
DM: "Pass me the epic level handbook"
Party: "What?"
DM (still out of character, mind ya): "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"
Cleric (w/ travel domain): "Teleport without error away from here!"
DM: "WHO DARES SUMMON BAALZEPHON OF THE DARK EIGHT?"
Rest of the party: "We jump on the cleric! Get us out too!"
Alienist: "...bastards"

The time I sent my rather useless familiar (a fruit bat named rasputin who is afraid of everything) into a cave and he spied a young dragon and came flying out telepathically communicating to me the phrase :

BIG BEASTIE!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then flew off into the night.

That amused us to no end.

I haven't updated it for almost a year but some of my old funny quotes from our games can be found here :

http://www.homestead.com/Esmespage/Quotes.html

~Sheri

PS. Regal Worm - Don't worry about not getting a lot of responses at first. Sometimes threads take a while to take off. Sometimes you just hit it at a slow time on the boards. A lot of people are off gaming on weekends I think, and there is not as much activity until Sunday evenings, weekdays. I know I do my primary EnWorld posting/reading during the weekdays (when I'm supposed to be doing work... )