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A Lonely Path: a Shackled City Story Hour (the old version, see last post)
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<blockquote data-quote="hbarsquared" data-source="post: 2226915" data-attributes="member: 4550"><p><span style="color: deepskyblue"><strong>Chapter One, Part Three</strong></span></p><p></p><p></p><p>Abrina now took up the entire width of the alley and the cleric had shifted in front of her to the side to meet the charge of the attackers. The first, swinging his sword wildly, ran directly toward Abrina. She clenched her spear, holding it rigid, and for a moment closed her eyes. She felt a tremendous jarring, and barely kept her weapon from wrenching out of her grasp. Her eyes flared open to see the first attacker now impaled on her oversized spear, his eyes rapidly glazing over. The second attacker had already reached the cleric and Abrina could already see a new wound on his shoulder. The cleric stumbled, clutching his arm to his side, and fell to the ground. Angrily, Abrina pulled back her spear and with a jab at the ground shook off the body and with a fluid, follow-through motion, speared the side of the man stepping forward to take the place of his fellow attacker.</p><p></p><p>Wielding her spear in one hand Abrina leaned over to the small form of the cleric on the ground. Whispering a prayer, Ninurta granted the cleric the energy he needed to rise. One of the men lashed out with his sword, which she diverted with the spear as she lifted the cleric to his feet with her other hand. He shook his head, nodded a brief thanks to her, and ducked beneath another swipe of a sword. Seeing an opening, the cleric swung his mace, crunching into the side of the man that Abrina had just wounded. The attacker crumpled, and fell.</p><p></p><p>Gritting her teeth, Abrina found another hit as the two remaining attackers continued to press. She did not have time to recover from her strike, and she could not defend herself from the other man with the painted face. He slid the sword easily into her side. Her vision dimmed as the attacker removed his sword and her blood coursed down her leg. She did not feel herself falling. Abrina only heard a cry from the cleric and caught a glimpse of him crushing his mace into the back of the one who wounded her. Then nothing.</p><p></p><p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: slategray"></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: slategray">OOC: This post would be my first attempt at describing combat. Was it fair, readable? Should I never attempt such an atrocity again, or do I simply need a little practice?</span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="color: slategray"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hbarsquared, post: 2226915, member: 4550"] [color=deepskyblue][b]Chapter One, Part Three[/b][/color] Abrina now took up the entire width of the alley and the cleric had shifted in front of her to the side to meet the charge of the attackers. The first, swinging his sword wildly, ran directly toward Abrina. She clenched her spear, holding it rigid, and for a moment closed her eyes. She felt a tremendous jarring, and barely kept her weapon from wrenching out of her grasp. Her eyes flared open to see the first attacker now impaled on her oversized spear, his eyes rapidly glazing over. The second attacker had already reached the cleric and Abrina could already see a new wound on his shoulder. The cleric stumbled, clutching his arm to his side, and fell to the ground. Angrily, Abrina pulled back her spear and with a jab at the ground shook off the body and with a fluid, follow-through motion, speared the side of the man stepping forward to take the place of his fellow attacker. Wielding her spear in one hand Abrina leaned over to the small form of the cleric on the ground. Whispering a prayer, Ninurta granted the cleric the energy he needed to rise. One of the men lashed out with his sword, which she diverted with the spear as she lifted the cleric to his feet with her other hand. He shook his head, nodded a brief thanks to her, and ducked beneath another swipe of a sword. Seeing an opening, the cleric swung his mace, crunching into the side of the man that Abrina had just wounded. The attacker crumpled, and fell. Gritting her teeth, Abrina found another hit as the two remaining attackers continued to press. She did not have time to recover from her strike, and she could not defend herself from the other man with the painted face. He slid the sword easily into her side. Her vision dimmed as the attacker removed his sword and her blood coursed down her leg. She did not feel herself falling. Abrina only heard a cry from the cleric and caught a glimpse of him crushing his mace into the back of the one who wounded her. Then nothing. [indent][color=slategray] OOC: This post would be my first attempt at describing combat. Was it fair, readable? Should I never attempt such an atrocity again, or do I simply need a little practice? [/color][/indent] [/QUOTE]
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