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A Rather Odd Shovel [Judge: Bront]
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<blockquote data-quote="Trouvere" data-source="post: 4605409" data-attributes="member: 37250"><p>Keldar listens attentively to the old man's recollections. "<span style="color: SandyBrown">Thank you, sir,</span>" he says. "<span style="color: SandyBrown">You've been very helpful, and who knows, perhaps after all this time, Urton has grown careless.</span>"</p><p></p><p>Once outside, Keldar points the way towards the School of Wizardry and while walking says reflectively, "<span style="color: SandyBrown">I suppose a guard who hardly cares is better by far than a guard who is overly officious in the carrying out of his duties. There are some stories I can tell you about Orussus guards who wouldn't accept the simplest excuses! Or, better, I could sing one to you!</span>"</p><p></p><p>It turns out not to be an idle threat, but fortunately - or perhaps not - it seems Keldar's singing voice has improved some.</p><p></p><p>"<span style="color: SandyBrown">If you've ever been a bard,</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">Then you'll know that life is hard;</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">You'll find your skills are going for a song.</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">But the very worst of worst,</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">When you're just trying to fill your purse</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">Are those who're there to set right every wrong:</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">Yes, the gentlemen of the Guards –</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">Who might have heard you cheat at cards</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">And will not let you ever get along.</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown"></span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">I remember one fine day,</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">I was just strolling on my way</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">Through a market filled with every kind of stall -</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">Bread and cheese and chicken wings</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">And other kinds of tasty things -</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">And I'll swear it wasn't me who caused the brawl!</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">It was some other clumsy oafs</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">Who knocked down the pile of loafs:</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">I was just the one who caught them all!</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown"></span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">But as I went on down the street</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">Who should I chance to meet</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">But a guard who was always sticking in his nose.</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">Said he, "You're looking rather… schemy.</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">So, are you just pleased to see me,</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">Or is that a loaf of bread stuffed down your hose?</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">For a handful of silver coin,</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">I'll ignore your swollen groin;</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">Otherwise I'll have to look inside your clothes."</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown"></span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">I said, "This is not a long baguette,</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">With two buns slightly offset,</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">Or any other kind of risen dough.</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">Your demand is quite extortionate!</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">You should know I'm disproportionate:</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">Ask any of the ladies that I know!</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">I value my modesty and cleanness</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">So I will not show my -</span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown"></span></p><p><span style="color: SandyBrown">Well, here we are at the School of Wizardry,</span>" says Keldar, interrupting his song. "<span style="color: SandyBrown">Do you have any thoughts on what we've just learned?</span>"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Trouvere, post: 4605409, member: 37250"] Keldar listens attentively to the old man's recollections. "[COLOR="SandyBrown"]Thank you, sir,[/COLOR]" he says. "[COLOR="SandyBrown"]You've been very helpful, and who knows, perhaps after all this time, Urton has grown careless.[/COLOR]" Once outside, Keldar points the way towards the School of Wizardry and while walking says reflectively, "[COLOR="SandyBrown"]I suppose a guard who hardly cares is better by far than a guard who is overly officious in the carrying out of his duties. There are some stories I can tell you about Orussus guards who wouldn't accept the simplest excuses! Or, better, I could sing one to you![/COLOR]" It turns out not to be an idle threat, but fortunately - or perhaps not - it seems Keldar's singing voice has improved some. "[COLOR="SandyBrown"]If you've ever been a bard, Then you'll know that life is hard; You'll find your skills are going for a song. But the very worst of worst, When you're just trying to fill your purse Are those who're there to set right every wrong: Yes, the gentlemen of the Guards – Who might have heard you cheat at cards And will not let you ever get along. I remember one fine day, I was just strolling on my way Through a market filled with every kind of stall - Bread and cheese and chicken wings And other kinds of tasty things - And I'll swear it wasn't me who caused the brawl! It was some other clumsy oafs Who knocked down the pile of loafs: I was just the one who caught them all! But as I went on down the street Who should I chance to meet But a guard who was always sticking in his nose. Said he, "You're looking rather… schemy. So, are you just pleased to see me, Or is that a loaf of bread stuffed down your hose? For a handful of silver coin, I'll ignore your swollen groin; Otherwise I'll have to look inside your clothes." I said, "This is not a long baguette, With two buns slightly offset, Or any other kind of risen dough. Your demand is quite extortionate! You should know I'm disproportionate: Ask any of the ladies that I know! I value my modesty and cleanness So I will not show my - Well, here we are at the School of Wizardry,[/COLOR]" says Keldar, interrupting his song. "[COLOR="SandyBrown"]Do you have any thoughts on what we've just learned?[/COLOR]" [/QUOTE]
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