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<blockquote data-quote="Celebrim" data-source="post: 6905486" data-attributes="member: 4937"><p>No problem, but that's not even remotely a review. I just have a passion for good feat design, partly owing to the tendency to treat feats - because they tend to be short - as easy to design. In fact, designing good feats is very challenging.</p><p></p><p>From a reviewers standpoint, avoid mentioning scientific concepts like DNA. It's not clear that DNA exists in a typical fantasy setting, where science - if it exists at all - is typically cased on the idea that the ancient Greek philosophers correctly described the universe (four elements, for example). Inserting anachronisms like that, even if in your own campaign you are perfectly happy to have modern science, tends to be jarring. Use more generic terms like 'parentage' or 'heredity'. </p><p></p><p>Sooner or later, you are going to get a cease and desist from multiple authors. Consider revising your artwork, and removing trademarked designs. </p><p></p><p>Consider changing your percentage chances to chances in D20. Consider changing your fertility rules to be based off Fortitude saves. In general, I find your chance of conception rules to be vastly overcomplicated. You want one simple mechanic and maybe one easy to read table. Why in the world does the chance of bringing a baby healthy to term have nothing to do with the Constitution of the mother?</p><p></p><p>Why go into such detail about that sort of thing, and not consider whether spells, diseases, poisons, damage and hardship that target the mother effect the child and to what degree? Very basic questions that might come up in the game like whether the baby has to make a saving throw whenever the mother does (or whenever the mother fails a saving throw?) aren't addressed. Does the mother completely protect the child from spells targeting one creature? If not, are their exceptions (Poison?)? What happens to the child when the mother shape changes? If we are going to game carrying a baby to term, we are going to care a lot more about that sort of thing than exact percentage chances to conceive. You briefly mention this sort of thing when you talk about accidental abortion, but not in any way that is clear or functional (what is the chance a blow effects the child?). How does any event of this sort effect the child's chance of being born healthy? For example, we know in the real world diseases can often damage the unborn. </p><p></p><p>In short, you've spent a lot of time thinking about something that isn't particularly hard to rule on (does someone become pregnant?) because that event is pretty binary pass/fail sort of stuff. But the stuff that would require a lot of thought and attention to detail... doesn't show up in the rules.</p><p></p><p>Back on the subject of 'traits', it might be interesting to see feats related to having some unusual heritage, but not enough to count as 'half' mechanically.</p><p></p><p>For example, from my own rules:</p><p></p><p>ELFIN BLOOD [TRAIT]</p><p>You have an elfin ancestor, and the blood of that ancestor flows with unusual strength in you.</p><p>Prerequisite: You may not take this advantage if you are elfin or half-elfin.</p><p>Benefit: For all special abilities and effects, you are considered an elf. For example, you can use elfin weapons and magic items with racially specific elfin powers as if you were an elf. You may also choose one of the following special abilities: treat Empathy (animal) as a class skill, or a +1 racial bonus to listen, spot, and search checks, or low light vision. </p><p></p><p>HUMAN BLOOD [TRAIT]</p><p>One of your ancestor’s was a human and the blood of your ancestor flows with particular strength in you. </p><p>Prerequisite: Not human or half human, appropriate background</p><p>Benefit: You are considered human for the purposes of qualifying for racial feats or using racially specific magic items. You gain 4 additional skill points at first level and an additional skill point each time you gain a level.</p><p></p><p>In short, there is a lot of interesting territory you aren't covering that might make your text more interesting to more readers and be more useful to you in future play. You don't even really cover enough details to be a true 'Birth Guide' for a fantasy role playing game, but where you need to be heading is less of a 'Birds and Bees' guide for D&D that explains what happens when creatures have sex, and more to being a true dynasty guide that deals with how the fantastic elements of the game intersect pregnancy and heirs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Celebrim, post: 6905486, member: 4937"] No problem, but that's not even remotely a review. I just have a passion for good feat design, partly owing to the tendency to treat feats - because they tend to be short - as easy to design. In fact, designing good feats is very challenging. From a reviewers standpoint, avoid mentioning scientific concepts like DNA. It's not clear that DNA exists in a typical fantasy setting, where science - if it exists at all - is typically cased on the idea that the ancient Greek philosophers correctly described the universe (four elements, for example). Inserting anachronisms like that, even if in your own campaign you are perfectly happy to have modern science, tends to be jarring. Use more generic terms like 'parentage' or 'heredity'. Sooner or later, you are going to get a cease and desist from multiple authors. Consider revising your artwork, and removing trademarked designs. Consider changing your percentage chances to chances in D20. Consider changing your fertility rules to be based off Fortitude saves. In general, I find your chance of conception rules to be vastly overcomplicated. You want one simple mechanic and maybe one easy to read table. Why in the world does the chance of bringing a baby healthy to term have nothing to do with the Constitution of the mother? Why go into such detail about that sort of thing, and not consider whether spells, diseases, poisons, damage and hardship that target the mother effect the child and to what degree? Very basic questions that might come up in the game like whether the baby has to make a saving throw whenever the mother does (or whenever the mother fails a saving throw?) aren't addressed. Does the mother completely protect the child from spells targeting one creature? If not, are their exceptions (Poison?)? What happens to the child when the mother shape changes? If we are going to game carrying a baby to term, we are going to care a lot more about that sort of thing than exact percentage chances to conceive. You briefly mention this sort of thing when you talk about accidental abortion, but not in any way that is clear or functional (what is the chance a blow effects the child?). How does any event of this sort effect the child's chance of being born healthy? For example, we know in the real world diseases can often damage the unborn. In short, you've spent a lot of time thinking about something that isn't particularly hard to rule on (does someone become pregnant?) because that event is pretty binary pass/fail sort of stuff. But the stuff that would require a lot of thought and attention to detail... doesn't show up in the rules. Back on the subject of 'traits', it might be interesting to see feats related to having some unusual heritage, but not enough to count as 'half' mechanically. For example, from my own rules: ELFIN BLOOD [TRAIT] You have an elfin ancestor, and the blood of that ancestor flows with unusual strength in you. Prerequisite: You may not take this advantage if you are elfin or half-elfin. Benefit: For all special abilities and effects, you are considered an elf. For example, you can use elfin weapons and magic items with racially specific elfin powers as if you were an elf. You may also choose one of the following special abilities: treat Empathy (animal) as a class skill, or a +1 racial bonus to listen, spot, and search checks, or low light vision. HUMAN BLOOD [TRAIT] One of your ancestor’s was a human and the blood of your ancestor flows with particular strength in you. Prerequisite: Not human or half human, appropriate background Benefit: You are considered human for the purposes of qualifying for racial feats or using racially specific magic items. You gain 4 additional skill points at first level and an additional skill point each time you gain a level. In short, there is a lot of interesting territory you aren't covering that might make your text more interesting to more readers and be more useful to you in future play. You don't even really cover enough details to be a true 'Birth Guide' for a fantasy role playing game, but where you need to be heading is less of a 'Birds and Bees' guide for D&D that explains what happens when creatures have sex, and more to being a true dynasty guide that deals with how the fantastic elements of the game intersect pregnancy and heirs. [/QUOTE]
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