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CERAMIC D.M. Final Judgements In- New Champion!
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<blockquote data-quote="alsih2o" data-source="post: 790486" data-attributes="member: 4790"><p>sniktch vs speaker- final judgemnt</p><p></p><p> alsih2o</p><p></p><p> sniktch- gives us a really entertaining little tale, i love the image of the giant eating herself a lot, and the house and the old man were handled well. the climbing ic was handled decently but i really preferred the use of the "diguised" pic. all around a good usage of the pics with some real high points.</p><p></p><p> speaker- the wall women is handled really well here too. i also liked the circular aspect of the tale. the house pic was worked in well with the time passage theme.</p><p></p><p> in our first all photo ceramic d.m. i have to give the final round to speaker, 2 really strong stories, no major errs by anyone, but speaker sticks his neck just a bit out in front, despite the strangeness of the story.</p><p></p><p>maldur</p><p></p><p> Sniktch: This is your best ceramic entry yet. It has the feel of the</p><p>"original" fairy tale I heard a while back (Little red ridinghood, the</p><p>bloody, pre-grimm version).</p><p></p><p>Speaker:</p><p>Time reversal, training "slayers", misterious oracles. Great story. I really</p><p>like your "twist"</p><p></p><p>This round goes to: Speaker.</p><p></p><p></p><p>arwink</p><p></p><p>Sniktch</p><p>The first thing that really leapt out at me is the stiffness and modern </p><p>approach to the dialogue. This starts off very much as a "Young Son's Quest" </p><p>that is common to fantasy and mythology, and the initial conversation between </p><p>the old man and the main character doesn't quite ring true for the setting </p><p>being implied. The pay-off of the story also has some problems - if the family </p><p>knows about the rings magic, why didn't the father use it when the giant first </p><p>turned up? It would have worked better if it was a simple ring, an heirloom, </p><p>with powers that proved beneficial later in the story. There are some other </p><p>pacing problems, but this is more the function of the fast drafting problem of </p><p>Ceramic DM than anything else - the story seems about half as long as it needs </p><p>to be, to give the various ideas and events proper space to sink in.</p><p></p><p>All this being said, I did enjoy the voice being used to tell the tale, and the </p><p>majority of the characters are interesting work. The death of the giant, in </p><p>particular, is well planned out although the absence of real conflict in the </p><p>story (everything comes too easily for the hero) leaves it slightly </p><p>undermined. </p><p></p><p>A good story, but in need of more work.</p><p></p><p>Speaker</p><p>Speakers story is well paced, with a well constructed voice that lapses only </p><p>occasionally. The slow revelation of the stories secrets is very nicely </p><p>handled, particularly after the almost misleading introduction which introduces </p><p>us to the lead characters hunt. There are dangling questions throughout, to be </p><p>sure, but many of these leave us an open interpretation of Speakers world and </p><p>aren't essential to the main plot. As a short story, this works well, but it </p><p>may need some rethinking if expanded into a longer tale that sought to answer </p><p>the dangling questions.</p><p></p><p>There were two main problems that caught my attention. The first is to change </p><p>Pual's name - it looks too much like a misspelling, and this means that it </p><p>seems silly once the realisation hits that it isn't. It's closeness to a </p><p>modern name also lends a certain overtone to the piece that works in its </p><p>favour, but would largely be more effective if just changed to Paul. The </p><p>second was the dialogue of the Prophet. There's an attempt to create a unique </p><p>speech pattern occurring, but it simply doesn't work the way it's written. </p><p>Again, it comes off more as weirdly placed typo's than a strange speech </p><p>pattern, so more obvious breaks between words are needed."</p><p></p><p>In the end, I thoroughly enjoyed Speakers story apart from these minor </p><p>quibbles. His use of the pictures is very clear and interesting, and the </p><p>initial intro based around the climb is great.</p><p></p><p>In the end, I give this round to Speaker. Sniktch puts together a great tale, </p><p>but just doesn't hold together as impressively as Speakers does in terms of </p><p>narrative.</p><p></p><p> unanimous final round to speaker! the new ceramic d.m. champion!</p><p></p><p> all hail speaker!</p><p></p><p> thanks to everyone who wrote, judged, commented or read along <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="alsih2o, post: 790486, member: 4790"] sniktch vs speaker- final judgemnt alsih2o sniktch- gives us a really entertaining little tale, i love the image of the giant eating herself a lot, and the house and the old man were handled well. the climbing ic was handled decently but i really preferred the use of the "diguised" pic. all around a good usage of the pics with some real high points. speaker- the wall women is handled really well here too. i also liked the circular aspect of the tale. the house pic was worked in well with the time passage theme. in our first all photo ceramic d.m. i have to give the final round to speaker, 2 really strong stories, no major errs by anyone, but speaker sticks his neck just a bit out in front, despite the strangeness of the story. maldur Sniktch: This is your best ceramic entry yet. It has the feel of the "original" fairy tale I heard a while back (Little red ridinghood, the bloody, pre-grimm version). Speaker: Time reversal, training "slayers", misterious oracles. Great story. I really like your "twist" This round goes to: Speaker. arwink Sniktch The first thing that really leapt out at me is the stiffness and modern approach to the dialogue. This starts off very much as a "Young Son's Quest" that is common to fantasy and mythology, and the initial conversation between the old man and the main character doesn't quite ring true for the setting being implied. The pay-off of the story also has some problems - if the family knows about the rings magic, why didn't the father use it when the giant first turned up? It would have worked better if it was a simple ring, an heirloom, with powers that proved beneficial later in the story. There are some other pacing problems, but this is more the function of the fast drafting problem of Ceramic DM than anything else - the story seems about half as long as it needs to be, to give the various ideas and events proper space to sink in. All this being said, I did enjoy the voice being used to tell the tale, and the majority of the characters are interesting work. The death of the giant, in particular, is well planned out although the absence of real conflict in the story (everything comes too easily for the hero) leaves it slightly undermined. A good story, but in need of more work. Speaker Speakers story is well paced, with a well constructed voice that lapses only occasionally. The slow revelation of the stories secrets is very nicely handled, particularly after the almost misleading introduction which introduces us to the lead characters hunt. There are dangling questions throughout, to be sure, but many of these leave us an open interpretation of Speakers world and aren't essential to the main plot. As a short story, this works well, but it may need some rethinking if expanded into a longer tale that sought to answer the dangling questions. There were two main problems that caught my attention. The first is to change Pual's name - it looks too much like a misspelling, and this means that it seems silly once the realisation hits that it isn't. It's closeness to a modern name also lends a certain overtone to the piece that works in its favour, but would largely be more effective if just changed to Paul. The second was the dialogue of the Prophet. There's an attempt to create a unique speech pattern occurring, but it simply doesn't work the way it's written. Again, it comes off more as weirdly placed typo's than a strange speech pattern, so more obvious breaks between words are needed." In the end, I thoroughly enjoyed Speakers story apart from these minor quibbles. His use of the pictures is very clear and interesting, and the initial intro based around the climb is great. In the end, I give this round to Speaker. Sniktch puts together a great tale, but just doesn't hold together as impressively as Speakers does in terms of narrative. unanimous final round to speaker! the new ceramic d.m. champion! all hail speaker! thanks to everyone who wrote, judged, commented or read along :) [/QUOTE]
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