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CERAMIC D.M. the final judgement is in!
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<blockquote data-quote="alsih2o" data-source="post: 616503" data-attributes="member: 4790"><p>sniktch vs drawmack- judgement</p><p></p><p> ALSIH2O</p><p></p><p>sniktch: i am not one to enjoy furries, but i liked this tale. </p><p></p><p> i was a little diturbed at first by the jarring effect of "ambling" and </p><p>"nervous" in the same sentence but this was the only language that really </p><p>grated on me. </p><p> the use of the first picture wasn't the strongest and i </p><p>don't think the 2nd was given the best treatment either (it is not the </p><p>literary image i would have chosen to illustrate for the story) but the </p><p>use of the sloth and the handling of the wall really struck me. the sloth </p><p>as a mentor was a surprise twist and it worked very well, throwing off my</p><p> guard and keeping me looking for what other twists the author might throw </p><p>at me.</p><p> as a story i found it entertaining, but the use of two of the pics as </p><p>illustrations in a book in the story was bothersome. (we had this in the </p><p>last competition too.)</p><p></p><p> drawmack: Dramack presents us with a slight twist on a familiar tale, the </p><p>young man earning the right ot go forth and fight for his cause.</p><p></p><p> the use of language is neither poor nor bold, but i was slightly disturbed by</p><p>"I intone as she teasingly stands up and saunters away in her teasing fashion." </p><p>but it was the only truly rough point.</p><p></p><p> As for his handling of ingredients- i enjoyed his description of the archway </p><p>and passage mush more than i enjoyed sniktchs. his description of the frequent</p><p>use of the area leaving it looking abandoned really struck a chord in me. his</p><p>of the stuffed giant sloth was nice, and i would have liked to have seen some</p><p>more come of it. his description of the disorganized, geased fightng is what </p><p>really swings it though, i can really see this hapening,and the duality of the </p><p>people in his setting pursuing this activity just as the people in the real </p><p>picture is very entertaining. The siege notes add an interesting touch to the </p><p>main character by lettign us see what he thinks his future path holds, letting </p><p>see his confidence and dreams.</p><p></p><p> both authors can be proud, no stinkers here, but i must award the round to </p><p>drawmack.</p><p></p><p> MALDUR-</p><p></p><p>Sniktch, The image of a old and wise sloth, teaching the folly of man is</p><p>nice, very nice. </p><p></p><p>Drawmack: Nice story but it seems you tried to write a scenario in a story.</p><p>Maybe you should have written a scenario (you are allowed to do so in</p><p>ceramic). There are some gems in there: troubled meditations or meditations</p><p>filled with images of elven maidens<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" />. Also the doorway as a gauge of</p><p>who/what may or may not enter is very imaginative.</p><p></p><p>My vote goes to Sniktch. Best of luck in the next round. Drawmack, better</p><p>luck next time.</p><p></p><p> ARWINK-</p><p></p><p>Sniktch</p><p>An interesting story, that plays with a classic sci-fi concept. It approaches </p><p>the pictures playfully, but where I felt it was let down was ultimately the </p><p>tone of the piece. It didn't really grab me straight off, taking on overtones </p><p>of overt preaching on the nature of man than exploring the interaction between </p><p>mans warlike nature and the philosophy of the giant sloth's that come to </p><p>replace us as a species. All in all, I find myself more intrigued by the idea </p><p>rather than the story. More focus on the sloths and their world <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p></p><p>Drawmack</p><p>Drawmack's entry plunges the reader straight into a situation and leaves them </p><p>chasing along to pick up the clues about what's happening. It instantly raises </p><p>questions that I wanted answered, which is what carries me into the piece. Who </p><p>are the characters? What is their relationship? For every question the </p><p>opening answers, there's another to take it's place. What are the traditions </p><p>of this monk-like elven paladin order? This game of tag he plays with the </p><p>reader disappears towards the middle of the story, where exposition is handed </p><p>over in large chunks rather than used to tease, but the initial burst of </p><p>interest carries things through.</p><p></p><p>All in all, it's the strength of Drawmack's opening that gives him the edge in </p><p>this. Both stories produce things that I'm a total sucker for as a reader </p><p>(interesting and unknown cultures), but Drawmack's story fills me with greater </p><p>eagerness to learn his characters culture, how they fit into it, and what their </p><p>story is. I give this round to Drawmack</p><p></p><p></p><p> so, 2 to 1, winner is drawmack, congratulations</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="alsih2o, post: 616503, member: 4790"] sniktch vs drawmack- judgement ALSIH2O sniktch: i am not one to enjoy furries, but i liked this tale. i was a little diturbed at first by the jarring effect of "ambling" and "nervous" in the same sentence but this was the only language that really grated on me. the use of the first picture wasn't the strongest and i don't think the 2nd was given the best treatment either (it is not the literary image i would have chosen to illustrate for the story) but the use of the sloth and the handling of the wall really struck me. the sloth as a mentor was a surprise twist and it worked very well, throwing off my guard and keeping me looking for what other twists the author might throw at me. as a story i found it entertaining, but the use of two of the pics as illustrations in a book in the story was bothersome. (we had this in the last competition too.) drawmack: Dramack presents us with a slight twist on a familiar tale, the young man earning the right ot go forth and fight for his cause. the use of language is neither poor nor bold, but i was slightly disturbed by "I intone as she teasingly stands up and saunters away in her teasing fashion." but it was the only truly rough point. As for his handling of ingredients- i enjoyed his description of the archway and passage mush more than i enjoyed sniktchs. his description of the frequent use of the area leaving it looking abandoned really struck a chord in me. his of the stuffed giant sloth was nice, and i would have liked to have seen some more come of it. his description of the disorganized, geased fightng is what really swings it though, i can really see this hapening,and the duality of the people in his setting pursuing this activity just as the people in the real picture is very entertaining. The siege notes add an interesting touch to the main character by lettign us see what he thinks his future path holds, letting see his confidence and dreams. both authors can be proud, no stinkers here, but i must award the round to drawmack. MALDUR- Sniktch, The image of a old and wise sloth, teaching the folly of man is nice, very nice. Drawmack: Nice story but it seems you tried to write a scenario in a story. Maybe you should have written a scenario (you are allowed to do so in ceramic). There are some gems in there: troubled meditations or meditations filled with images of elven maidens:D. Also the doorway as a gauge of who/what may or may not enter is very imaginative. My vote goes to Sniktch. Best of luck in the next round. Drawmack, better luck next time. ARWINK- Sniktch An interesting story, that plays with a classic sci-fi concept. It approaches the pictures playfully, but where I felt it was let down was ultimately the tone of the piece. It didn't really grab me straight off, taking on overtones of overt preaching on the nature of man than exploring the interaction between mans warlike nature and the philosophy of the giant sloth's that come to replace us as a species. All in all, I find myself more intrigued by the idea rather than the story. More focus on the sloths and their world :D Drawmack Drawmack's entry plunges the reader straight into a situation and leaves them chasing along to pick up the clues about what's happening. It instantly raises questions that I wanted answered, which is what carries me into the piece. Who are the characters? What is their relationship? For every question the opening answers, there's another to take it's place. What are the traditions of this monk-like elven paladin order? This game of tag he plays with the reader disappears towards the middle of the story, where exposition is handed over in large chunks rather than used to tease, but the initial burst of interest carries things through. All in all, it's the strength of Drawmack's opening that gives him the edge in this. Both stories produce things that I'm a total sucker for as a reader (interesting and unknown cultures), but Drawmack's story fills me with greater eagerness to learn his characters culture, how they fit into it, and what their story is. I give this round to Drawmack so, 2 to 1, winner is drawmack, congratulations [/QUOTE]
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