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CERAMIC D.M. the final judgement is in!
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<blockquote data-quote="alsih2o" data-source="post: 616747" data-attributes="member: 4790"><p>speaker vs taladas-judgement!</p><p></p><p> ALSIH2O-</p><p> taladas: feeds us a story of a man cursed by his own need for revenge.</p><p></p><p> taladas has handled 3 of the 4 pictures well in my opinion. i like thr treatment of all but the </p><p>fighting men, it seems to be tacked on, even while it is a fulcrum point in the story. he has woven</p><p>a tale of tale of redemption, as has his opponent. i enjoyed the main theme of the story even if it</p><p> it felt a little rushed.</p><p></p><p> speaker brings us a story of redemption as well, with a spooky twist</p><p></p><p> speakers story handles all the ingredients well, and while it is a little long side i did </p><p>not realize it until my third reading! i liked the flow, the handling of the pictures and the</p><p>moral. this is a strong piece, and in my opinion it is a shame taladas had to face</p><p>this stiff competition in the first round. strong all the way around.</p><p></p><p> i am left proud of both of these contestants, but speaker left me standing on my chair applauding.</p><p> speaker gets my vote.</p><p></p><p></p><p> Maldur-</p><p> Speaker:</p><p>great moral tale! very oriental, and mysterious.</p><p></p><p>Taladas:</p><p>Good start but a very hurried end. It came over as very choatic/throw</p><p>together story. Your ideas are nice though. Work some more on them!</p><p> </p><p>winner: Speaker!</p><p></p><p>ARWINK-</p><p> Taladas</p><p>Okay, this was just weird <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Taladas piece caught me off guard, given the tone </p><p>of everything I'd read up until this point. Unfortunately, I thought it needed </p><p>more room to breath and let all the disparate elements included come together </p><p>cohesively. As it stands, it's just too chaotic, swap genres and styles </p><p>quickly and without warning. Further, the adage of Show don't Tell comes into </p><p>play here as well. The scene that stands out the most is the meeting between </p><p>the narrator and Lee Hung because it's given more than a momentary examination </p><p>before shifting to the next plot element. Unfortunately, it just doesn't need </p><p>this kind of focus as much as other elements of the tale do. </p><p></p><p>Speaker</p><p>I was immediately grabbed by the voice here. It's one of those classic, folk-</p><p>tale beginnings that really snaps a reader to attention and sets up a strong </p><p>expectation of style. That this strong voice and very definite style carries </p><p>on through the story gives it a great deal of strength and pays tribute to </p><p>Speaker's ability to imitate folklore. The use of the pictures is stylish, and </p><p>the story is well crafted and a very strong voice.</p><p></p><p>Speakers was the stronger of these two. It came off as more complete that </p><p>Taladas' tale, which needed a bit more space and fleshing out to really come </p><p>into the ideas presented. Further, Speaker's work echoed the work of Neil </p><p>Gaiman's work in the Worlds End story arc of sandman, which is something of a </p><p>favorite of mine. I give this round to Speaker. </p><p></p><p> winner- speaker...with our first unanimous vote</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="alsih2o, post: 616747, member: 4790"] speaker vs taladas-judgement! ALSIH2O- taladas: feeds us a story of a man cursed by his own need for revenge. taladas has handled 3 of the 4 pictures well in my opinion. i like thr treatment of all but the fighting men, it seems to be tacked on, even while it is a fulcrum point in the story. he has woven a tale of tale of redemption, as has his opponent. i enjoyed the main theme of the story even if it it felt a little rushed. speaker brings us a story of redemption as well, with a spooky twist speakers story handles all the ingredients well, and while it is a little long side i did not realize it until my third reading! i liked the flow, the handling of the pictures and the moral. this is a strong piece, and in my opinion it is a shame taladas had to face this stiff competition in the first round. strong all the way around. i am left proud of both of these contestants, but speaker left me standing on my chair applauding. speaker gets my vote. Maldur- Speaker: great moral tale! very oriental, and mysterious. Taladas: Good start but a very hurried end. It came over as very choatic/throw together story. Your ideas are nice though. Work some more on them! winner: Speaker! ARWINK- Taladas Okay, this was just weird :) Taladas piece caught me off guard, given the tone of everything I'd read up until this point. Unfortunately, I thought it needed more room to breath and let all the disparate elements included come together cohesively. As it stands, it's just too chaotic, swap genres and styles quickly and without warning. Further, the adage of Show don't Tell comes into play here as well. The scene that stands out the most is the meeting between the narrator and Lee Hung because it's given more than a momentary examination before shifting to the next plot element. Unfortunately, it just doesn't need this kind of focus as much as other elements of the tale do. Speaker I was immediately grabbed by the voice here. It's one of those classic, folk- tale beginnings that really snaps a reader to attention and sets up a strong expectation of style. That this strong voice and very definite style carries on through the story gives it a great deal of strength and pays tribute to Speaker's ability to imitate folklore. The use of the pictures is stylish, and the story is well crafted and a very strong voice. Speakers was the stronger of these two. It came off as more complete that Taladas' tale, which needed a bit more space and fleshing out to really come into the ideas presented. Further, Speaker's work echoed the work of Neil Gaiman's work in the Worlds End story arc of sandman, which is something of a favorite of mine. I give this round to Speaker. winner- speaker...with our first unanimous vote [/QUOTE]
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