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<blockquote data-quote="Piratecat" data-source="post: 1630436" data-attributes="member: 2"><p><strong>Self-analysis and deconstruction of "The Arranger."</strong></p><p></p><p>(Judgment <a href="http://www.enworld.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1628369&postcount=94" target="_blank">here</a> for quick reference.)</p><p></p><p>Interestingly enough, some of the things I've been dinged on were conscious choices - which, I suppose, is a good thing. I'd rather take criticism for a deliberate decision that people didn't like than for inadvertent mistakes like the narrator shaking his head while in the mask.</p><p></p><p>For instance, I specifically didn't try to make Nick's true nature into a big "gotcha" secret. He's the narrator, and way too in love with himself (and his own cleverness) to have that much patience. More importantly, I considered the possibility that the story was more accessable once you knew that something was up. So I tried to write in Nick's own voice and add snide comments where he would. I was especially amused by his own description as an expert in branding. No one specified "marketing"....</p><p></p><p>The problem is that some of these (his "little pal Macaulay" Culkin's career revival, for instance) don't necessarily make sense during the first read-through. So if people are going to have to read the damn thing twice, why not make all of them more subtle in the first place? That might make for a stronger story. I'm torn, because deliberately disguising his nature seems in odds with his personality.</p><p></p><p>Another case where a conscious decision got me dinged was my use of the smoking picture "juvie." I really liked working it into the text off-handedly because it provided the first glimpse that the narrator was a really nasty piece of work who did evil on a whim -- and that what he says can't necessarily be trusted. I wanted people to wonder what he was talking about, click on the photo link, and say "What kind of a bastard would do that?" While the actual scene isn't a centerpiece of the story, the picture use provides an integral insight, so I figured it's a good use. Heck, it may even have been my favorite photo use in the story, so I was caught off guard when opinions about its use were divided. If it dragged me down, though, I'm okay with that; I think that untraditional picture linkages are probably a good thing, and that means taking some chances.</p><p></p><p>The mask was the hardest photo to work into the story. My first pass through made it truly superfluous. In editing I tried to increase its importance and the fact that it left the narrator physically helpless. I think it ended up being decent, but it was <em>much</em> better than the first version. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Going under the theory that "an illustration that can be excised without affecting the story is a bad use of the photo," I think the sand castings on the beach is my weakest photo use. It's okay, I guess, and the pile of viscera makes a nice image -- but essential? Nah.</p><p></p><p>Mythago also had an interesting point about my use of speaking verbs and modifiers. I'm doing some experimenting on how I write and how I differentiate vocal tones when I'm just typing on a computer. I think a lesson is that "less is sometimes more."</p><p></p><p>Anyways, I'm glad that the cheerleader photo and "Snulap Kpog" made me think of Russia. I loved "The Master and the Margarita" by Mikhail Bulgakov, a story of the devil visiting Russia, and it was fun considering that theme. As always I learn by doing, and this was both useful and fun.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Piratecat, post: 1630436, member: 2"] [b]Self-analysis and deconstruction of "The Arranger."[/b] (Judgment [url=http://www.enworld.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1628369&postcount=94]here[/url] for quick reference.) Interestingly enough, some of the things I've been dinged on were conscious choices - which, I suppose, is a good thing. I'd rather take criticism for a deliberate decision that people didn't like than for inadvertent mistakes like the narrator shaking his head while in the mask. For instance, I specifically didn't try to make Nick's true nature into a big "gotcha" secret. He's the narrator, and way too in love with himself (and his own cleverness) to have that much patience. More importantly, I considered the possibility that the story was more accessable once you knew that something was up. So I tried to write in Nick's own voice and add snide comments where he would. I was especially amused by his own description as an expert in branding. No one specified "marketing".... The problem is that some of these (his "little pal Macaulay" Culkin's career revival, for instance) don't necessarily make sense during the first read-through. So if people are going to have to read the damn thing twice, why not make all of them more subtle in the first place? That might make for a stronger story. I'm torn, because deliberately disguising his nature seems in odds with his personality. Another case where a conscious decision got me dinged was my use of the smoking picture "juvie." I really liked working it into the text off-handedly because it provided the first glimpse that the narrator was a really nasty piece of work who did evil on a whim -- and that what he says can't necessarily be trusted. I wanted people to wonder what he was talking about, click on the photo link, and say "What kind of a bastard would do that?" While the actual scene isn't a centerpiece of the story, the picture use provides an integral insight, so I figured it's a good use. Heck, it may even have been my favorite photo use in the story, so I was caught off guard when opinions about its use were divided. If it dragged me down, though, I'm okay with that; I think that untraditional picture linkages are probably a good thing, and that means taking some chances. The mask was the hardest photo to work into the story. My first pass through made it truly superfluous. In editing I tried to increase its importance and the fact that it left the narrator physically helpless. I think it ended up being decent, but it was [i]much[/i] better than the first version. :) Going under the theory that "an illustration that can be excised without affecting the story is a bad use of the photo," I think the sand castings on the beach is my weakest photo use. It's okay, I guess, and the pile of viscera makes a nice image -- but essential? Nah. Mythago also had an interesting point about my use of speaking verbs and modifiers. I'm doing some experimenting on how I write and how I differentiate vocal tones when I'm just typing on a computer. I think a lesson is that "less is sometimes more." Anyways, I'm glad that the cheerleader photo and "Snulap Kpog" made me think of Russia. I loved "The Master and the Margarita" by Mikhail Bulgakov, a story of the devil visiting Russia, and it was fun considering that theme. As always I learn by doing, and this was both useful and fun. [/QUOTE]
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