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<blockquote data-quote="Macbeth" data-source="post: 1630757" data-attributes="member: 11259"><p>Well, I've had some time to think about my story, and I think I want to make some responses to the judges' comments, just so you can see where I'm coming from.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I knew I might piss people off with that one, but I thought it sounded good comming from the author, and they were the three most influental leaders that immediately came to mind.</p><p></p><p></p><p>The opinions of the Lizard pic varied quite a bit. I liked it, just because I think the lizards eyes are slightly... erie. I wanted to make a point of focusing on the lizard, no the man. Depending on who you listen to, it even worked.</p><p>It seems fairly unanimous that the phone pic was badly used, which is too bad. I think the story might have been stronger if this was not a nameless follower, but somebody who was mentioned earlier. I actually liked my use of the pic, and it was part of what inspired the story.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Hmmm, this part is a little harder. I really didn't want the flood to be too climactic, the narrator is crazy, but not nessecarily the most capable person. I'm not sure if he could pul of anything more complex then a few water mains. I agree that maybe the police weren't climatic enough. The narrator has been dodging the police for some time, so them finally getting him doesn't seem like that big a deal. Maybe if I made a bigger deal of him avoiding the police in the past...</p><p></p><p></p><p>Oddly enough, I wanted it to be rough. I wanted it to be a bit rambling, a bit insane. I didn't want perfect sentences and smooth pacing, I wanted things a little choppy and weird.</p><p>I think I may have more "Show, not tell" then you allow me. Really, the point of the story (or at least the intended point) is the narrator's dementia, not the events themselves. I think I showed the author's mental state, but showed the story. In my plan (not sure how well it comes across) it was okay to tell the story, since that was more backdrop to showing the narrator's mind.</p><p></p><p></p><p>My bad. I should have caught that. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I can see what you mean. First, I didn't want the story to be absolutely literal. Again, I was really trying to explore the narrator, not just show what happened to him. Second, in my mind i had made it clearer that he had got in trouble, that he had been arrested and gone to court, but that he always got off light, through technicalities and such. The Free Speech people still defended his rights, even if they hated him. But that's what was in my mind, not what made it onto the page.</p><p></p><p></p><p>And some of us grew up reading both...</p><p></p><p></p><p>Definately. The narrator was supposed to be uncomfortably insane. This was not a nice guy. Glad that it came across that I ment him to be an ass.</p><p></p><p>Thanks to the judges, and I can't wait for the next round.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Macbeth, post: 1630757, member: 11259"] Well, I've had some time to think about my story, and I think I want to make some responses to the judges' comments, just so you can see where I'm coming from. I knew I might piss people off with that one, but I thought it sounded good comming from the author, and they were the three most influental leaders that immediately came to mind. The opinions of the Lizard pic varied quite a bit. I liked it, just because I think the lizards eyes are slightly... erie. I wanted to make a point of focusing on the lizard, no the man. Depending on who you listen to, it even worked. It seems fairly unanimous that the phone pic was badly used, which is too bad. I think the story might have been stronger if this was not a nameless follower, but somebody who was mentioned earlier. I actually liked my use of the pic, and it was part of what inspired the story. Hmmm, this part is a little harder. I really didn't want the flood to be too climactic, the narrator is crazy, but not nessecarily the most capable person. I'm not sure if he could pul of anything more complex then a few water mains. I agree that maybe the police weren't climatic enough. The narrator has been dodging the police for some time, so them finally getting him doesn't seem like that big a deal. Maybe if I made a bigger deal of him avoiding the police in the past... Oddly enough, I wanted it to be rough. I wanted it to be a bit rambling, a bit insane. I didn't want perfect sentences and smooth pacing, I wanted things a little choppy and weird. I think I may have more "Show, not tell" then you allow me. Really, the point of the story (or at least the intended point) is the narrator's dementia, not the events themselves. I think I showed the author's mental state, but showed the story. In my plan (not sure how well it comes across) it was okay to tell the story, since that was more backdrop to showing the narrator's mind. My bad. I should have caught that. I can see what you mean. First, I didn't want the story to be absolutely literal. Again, I was really trying to explore the narrator, not just show what happened to him. Second, in my mind i had made it clearer that he had got in trouble, that he had been arrested and gone to court, but that he always got off light, through technicalities and such. The Free Speech people still defended his rights, even if they hated him. But that's what was in my mind, not what made it onto the page. And some of us grew up reading both... Definately. The narrator was supposed to be uncomfortably insane. This was not a nice guy. Glad that it came across that I ment him to be an ass. Thanks to the judges, and I can't wait for the next round. [/QUOTE]
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