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CERAMIC DM March 2012
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<blockquote data-quote="steeldragons" data-source="post: 5850587" data-attributes="member: 92511"><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Round I: Match 2</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Rune's <em>Transition</em></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">vs.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Rodrigo Istalindir's </span><em><span style="font-size: 12px">The Hitchhiker</span></em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em>Wow. Just...Wow, to you both. This match gives us a spirit/vision quest for immortality and a sci-fi quest ending in an immortality, of a sort, of its own. Both of your creativity is evident. Both works you each should be proud of.</p><p></p><p>With that in mind, onto the judgement.</p><p></p><p>1) Writing Style & Skill: They are so different and yet both done so well. Transition's beats and breadth contained in such brevity was amazing. Tight, heavily stylistic but completely accessible. Hitchhiker's narrative was similarly tight, fully realized and had me on the edge of my seat. Both pieces had me eager to find out "what happens in the next line".</p><p></p><p>That said, the "Hafiz/Hamiz" debacle was an unfortunate mistake. Easily avoidable with the most cursory of editing. I am loathe to detract points for this as I have done this with characters, myself...one gets lost in the writing and something in the brain recalls the name incorrectly (or at least one's fingers do) in one's speeding into the next piece of the action. If it had been once, I could write it off as a typo...but the fact that it is repeated (right at the beginning/introduction of the character, no less) and then changed for the rest of the story, can't be ignored when it could have so easily been noted and corrected.</p><p></p><p>I am giving Rune an edge here.</p><p></p><p>2) Picture Use: <em>Hitchhiker's</em> use of the images is, again, solid. They each serve an integral part of the story that makes sense and yet couldn't be done some other way. The tool for working the pot and the use of the filigree as circuitry was, I thought, extremely creative but completely accessible viewing the photo. I found the "silver balls" image was a bit difficult to find. Was that supposed to be the power source they took form the ship? I wasn't sure. </p><p></p><p><em>Transition's</em> use of the photos was, I thought, equally creative and pulling us in, as one vision to the next makes each photo the actual character of the story. Something in me just loved "Auld Woldshanks" and the "Wormmammal" was both humorous but also poignant and, rather a bit creepy...but in a cool way. The idea of these silver balls being various "minds" in the ether was similarly evocative and, I thought intriguing. I also enjoyed, and I don't know if this was on purpose or not, the "creation of form"...of a sort...As the reader/shaman moves, from silver ball, to vegetative form, to "animal" form. The only inconsistency there was that, perhaps the human image should have been last to complete that imagery. Though, naturally, the argument can be made that the mortal human comes "beneath/before" the "immortal wormmammal". </p><p></p><p>But this placement of the hookah smoking shaman is no more or less disruptive to the tale than the use of the silver balls in Hitchhiker.</p><p></p><p>I am inclined to give no preference here. Both used the images to full effect. </p><p></p><p>3) Personal Enjoyment: There is really very little way to compare the two. The poetic rhythmic prose of the shaman's quest reads so very differently from the straight prose/narrative of Paz's quandry. Both were enjoyable in completely different ways. I do think, while a contained tight piece of its own, <em>Transition</em> still strikes me as poetry moreso than a story. There really is no "what happens next". Not that there has to be. Immortality achieved upon/taken to the grave.</p><p></p><p><em>Hitchhiker </em>leaves me with a "what happens next" that I am eager to find out, but don't feel I have to. The story has been told. The tale of Hamiz and Paz is complete. Immortality achieved in an unexpected way, following an unfortunate trip to the grave.</p><p></p><p>All in all, I would have like to have seen more "story" in <em>Transition</em>...a longer transition, if you would. The brevity is complete. But it seems more of a meditation or introspection or, as already stated, a poem. It just seems to fall short, for my enjoyment levels, of a story as opposed to the full telling of a tale that <em>Hitchhiker</em> presents.</p><p></p><p>As my fellow judges have already commented, this was a truly tough one. (And we're only at the second match!?!) I, too, would declare a tie if I could because they are such different types of pieces.</p><p></p><p>But I will cast my vote, also, for Rodrigo Istalindir.</p><p></p><p>Congratulations Rodrigo, it seems unanimous.</p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><strong>Winner for Round I: Match 2: Rodrigo Istalindir</strong></span></p><p></p><p>And Happy Andorran Constitution Day everyone! National holiday, here, insofar as this collection of a handful of villages and towns strewn throughout valleys and on the sides of mountains could be considered a "nation."</p><p>--SD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="steeldragons, post: 5850587, member: 92511"] [SIZE=3]Round I: Match 2 Rune's [I]Transition[/I] vs. Rodrigo Istalindir's [/SIZE][I][SIZE=3]The Hitchhiker[/SIZE] [/I]Wow. Just...Wow, to you both. This match gives us a spirit/vision quest for immortality and a sci-fi quest ending in an immortality, of a sort, of its own. Both of your creativity is evident. Both works you each should be proud of. With that in mind, onto the judgement. 1) Writing Style & Skill: They are so different and yet both done so well. Transition's beats and breadth contained in such brevity was amazing. Tight, heavily stylistic but completely accessible. Hitchhiker's narrative was similarly tight, fully realized and had me on the edge of my seat. Both pieces had me eager to find out "what happens in the next line". That said, the "Hafiz/Hamiz" debacle was an unfortunate mistake. Easily avoidable with the most cursory of editing. I am loathe to detract points for this as I have done this with characters, myself...one gets lost in the writing and something in the brain recalls the name incorrectly (or at least one's fingers do) in one's speeding into the next piece of the action. If it had been once, I could write it off as a typo...but the fact that it is repeated (right at the beginning/introduction of the character, no less) and then changed for the rest of the story, can't be ignored when it could have so easily been noted and corrected. I am giving Rune an edge here. 2) Picture Use: [I]Hitchhiker's[/I] use of the images is, again, solid. They each serve an integral part of the story that makes sense and yet couldn't be done some other way. The tool for working the pot and the use of the filigree as circuitry was, I thought, extremely creative but completely accessible viewing the photo. I found the "silver balls" image was a bit difficult to find. Was that supposed to be the power source they took form the ship? I wasn't sure. [I]Transition's[/I] use of the photos was, I thought, equally creative and pulling us in, as one vision to the next makes each photo the actual character of the story. Something in me just loved "Auld Woldshanks" and the "Wormmammal" was both humorous but also poignant and, rather a bit creepy...but in a cool way. The idea of these silver balls being various "minds" in the ether was similarly evocative and, I thought intriguing. I also enjoyed, and I don't know if this was on purpose or not, the "creation of form"...of a sort...As the reader/shaman moves, from silver ball, to vegetative form, to "animal" form. The only inconsistency there was that, perhaps the human image should have been last to complete that imagery. Though, naturally, the argument can be made that the mortal human comes "beneath/before" the "immortal wormmammal". But this placement of the hookah smoking shaman is no more or less disruptive to the tale than the use of the silver balls in Hitchhiker. I am inclined to give no preference here. Both used the images to full effect. 3) Personal Enjoyment: There is really very little way to compare the two. The poetic rhythmic prose of the shaman's quest reads so very differently from the straight prose/narrative of Paz's quandry. Both were enjoyable in completely different ways. I do think, while a contained tight piece of its own, [I]Transition[/I] still strikes me as poetry moreso than a story. There really is no "what happens next". Not that there has to be. Immortality achieved upon/taken to the grave. [I]Hitchhiker [/I]leaves me with a "what happens next" that I am eager to find out, but don't feel I have to. The story has been told. The tale of Hamiz and Paz is complete. Immortality achieved in an unexpected way, following an unfortunate trip to the grave. All in all, I would have like to have seen more "story" in [I]Transition[/I]...a longer transition, if you would. The brevity is complete. But it seems more of a meditation or introspection or, as already stated, a poem. It just seems to fall short, for my enjoyment levels, of a story as opposed to the full telling of a tale that [I]Hitchhiker[/I] presents. As my fellow judges have already commented, this was a truly tough one. (And we're only at the second match!?!) I, too, would declare a tie if I could because they are such different types of pieces. But I will cast my vote, also, for Rodrigo Istalindir. Congratulations Rodrigo, it seems unanimous. [SIZE=3][B]Winner for Round I: Match 2: Rodrigo Istalindir[/B][/SIZE] And Happy Andorran Constitution Day everyone! National holiday, here, insofar as this collection of a handful of villages and towns strewn throughout valleys and on the sides of mountains could be considered a "nation." --SD [/QUOTE]
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