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Cultsbane's bizarre D&D adventure: Zeitgeist - 5Eish
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<blockquote data-quote="Cultsbane" data-source="post: 9001487" data-attributes="member: 7037457"><p>Campaign time: 2 hours, 58 mins, 59 seconds </p><p></p><p></p><p>Everyone is watching out for the RHC spy who is a black cat in a funny hat. To make matters worse yesterday also featured a very horrific murder of a woman, her heart and kidney removed and placed into into her hands as her skin was removed and hanged up. </p><p></p><p>Rumors are circulating that Kelik is responsible for it because Danor is comprised of those men of science that would never kill someone so brutally and ritualistically, as the murder was crude and not precise </p><p></p><p>It is 7:30 AM and the train is leaving into the malice lands in 10 minutes. Celeste and Ennis are asking questions about the murder concerned that they as wealth and royalty might not be safe onboard the train, they suggest it is a demonic serial killer vampire. Danor dismisses the entire notion of vampires outright before we remind them that the feywild still exists and we've had incidents at the Holy Britannian Empire</p><p></p><p>Ennis gets handed her golden rifle as the train car leaves the frozen capital of Danor heading through the malice lands, which we have 4 hours to kill until we arrive. </p><p></p><p>Victoria moves to second class to find Bre. Bre is looking out the window and scratching at her scars. "How can I help you?" </p><p></p><p>Victoria mentions that she is unemployed now and is looking for work. Bre is wondering why an elfarian lady is so out in the open and calls her in closer to suggest protecting the wealthy Tiefling clients. They continue having conversations about the various people on the train</p><p></p><p>Bergeron heads to the lounge. Not really many people there that early as a lot of patients are back in cabins taking naps, he decides to do the same. Seeing Ennis busy with her studies Bergeron falls to sleep for a few hours</p><p></p><p>The train suddenly stops next to a marching band that plays patriotic songs as you begin crossing into the malice land. Moly explains that this is requirement to set the mood as the atmosphere & even creatures seems to mimic the feelings of the people onboard, so the passengers must always be made to be happy </p><p></p><p>Now time for the great hunting expedition. Multiple people show up to attend. The train is going to slow down for about half an hour to allow us a few shots after butt scooting across the train for a better shot</p><p></p><p>Ennis and Bergeron both plan on attending the competition walk on the top of the train. Ennis refuses to disgrace herself by butt scooting, seeing other people walking on the train, she goes to do the same and nearly falls off the train. </p><p></p><p>Bergeron getting a natural 20 barely saved her from falling off the train. Ennis gets lectured for her lack of care to basic safety protocols</p><p></p><p>The stylish man with the briefcase unchains it from his hand and now puts it on his leg. Grabbing his rifle and taking aim over the landscape seeing some sort of zebra the size of an elephant covered in horns, a parrot cheetah, and a giraffe with a lion's head. </p><p></p><p>This place has multiple environments. It makes absolutely no sense. Our target is a rhino with a Venus flytrap on its back as it is charging towards the train. Ennis fires off the first shot, getting a chunk out of it as it staggers back. Everyone starts taking multiple shots, the orc family the worst shots by far. The man with the briefcase does a perfect headshot through the eyes. Boone the gunslinger hits the other eye. The rhino goes down pretty quickly </p><p></p><p>At this point a loud banging goes over the train. Ennis gets hit in the head square with a frying pan, taking 4 points of damage. She looks down the car seeing some weird lunatic with a grey beard standing on top of the car with a box of kitchen appliances throwing them at us. This guy is throwing these kitchen supplies completely accurate by 12 cars</p><p></p><p>Moly screams to apprehend him immediately. That they'll deal with this giant superhobo with a frying pan (at least it isn't a hobo with a shotgun) and to not tell anyone about this incident </p><p></p><p>Joe makes a history check and gets a 21. He puts two and two together that the guy sounds suspiciously similar to that hobo he had a run in with the other day</p><p></p><p></p><p>People ask how Ennis is so good with a gun despite being from royalty, she mentions the HBE is stuck between multiple much larger nations who are always at war and so self defense training is required for everyone even royalty. </p><p></p><p>Victoria begins belittling Bergeron for going up there without protection. We make another series of rolls within the malice land magic properties and we all manage to successfully get through</p><p></p><p>Bergeron sees that Elanor is grabbing some very exquisite crab that she hasn't had before. The orc daughter runs up to a piano loudly playing it without knowing how it works and starts complaining that it is broken, Joe walks up to perform a piece on the piano. Playing it absolutely perfectly. Everyone starts clapping as the music starts mimicking a very upbeat song and celebrating begins. </p><p></p><p>The orc mother introduces herself to Joe, mentioning that they're next door neighbors and that her husband is one of the largest real estate agents in Ber. That her husband is far too stressful and paranoid about everything. They talk about vintage piano styles and how they're superior to the newer nihilistic themes. Joe plays another performance a version of the moonlight sonata </p><p></p><p>Ennis and Celeste start spreading the rumour that the hobo committed the murder last night. </p><p></p><p>The trains crosses into another tundra with multi color skies, indicating that they are about an hour out from Orithea. The only safe city in the malice land </p><p></p><p>The briefcase guy is in the lounge reading some newspapers. Victoria starts up a conversation complimenting his shooting skills. He says that he is surprised that he didn't see her up there, when Victoria says that she prefers close hand combat he shakes her hand talking about how she would love Drakr. Talking foundly about a lot of warlords & hero warriors in the Drake countryside but that they are a lot more relaxed culturally than Danor, but sadly he avoids staying because of dwarf obsessed fanaticism with the end of the world </p><p></p><p>The man pulls out his dagger, Victoria attempting flirting "you want to see my dagger", he quips back "I should be saying that to you, but I'm on a tight work schedule, maybe after I'm done I'll give you a closer look at my daggers. Which shouldn't be too hard as this is his final job before very early retirement" </p><p></p><p>We feel the train slowing down as we arrive in Orithea. The entire city is entirely composed of round structures, almost nothing is a straight edge. We arrive at a Danor district, getting told that we have free reign of the area until 7am when we leave tomorrow. We get recommend to visit the night market which has a large section of sorcerers and shows</p><p></p><p>Joe checks into the rumours about the hobo, finds out that no one has been able to find him, but he keeps appearing and disappearing. Joe talks to Molly, mentioning that he has seen the homeless man before. Moly says she has a hunch of where he might be and starts heading to the cargo cars. Joe follows her </p><p></p><p>The malice land check! Bergeron gets a natural 1 but thankfully he is in his hotel room during it. Bergeron notices that he is now a 2 dimensional creature, Ennis and Celeste suggest he has something to eat as he is looking pretty thin as Bergeron tries to speak but a literal comic speech bubble appears instead. What is this Rohan from JoJo bizarre adventure</p><p></p><p>Looks like Bergeron isn't touring the city and is forced to resides in the hotel room until he gains his shape again. Everything he touches turns into a cartoon. Ennis and Celeste want Kelik to turn them into a cartoon as well, but he refuses saying that they would get in too much trouble. He isn't wrong </p><p></p><p>So Ennis and Celeste head off to the night market. </p><p></p><p>Joe finds the giant hobo inside a box of religious artifacts. The man wakes up as the box top is removed, he gets up looking around that something is here. He climbs up one of the building and starts running across the rooftops. Joe begins to follow him as be heads into the night market </p><p></p><p>The night market has multiple stands. Many advertising fried foods, buttered cow tongue, pickled turtle soup, gumbo, and chicken butt on a stick. It is an interesting combination of Taiwanese and Louisiana cuisine. A puppet show is going on. The girls both head that way to the high tower where it is being hosted, it's a pretty good reenactment of a Ye island war where Danor and Risur navies both got whipped out by a rogue hurricane </p><p></p><p>The hobo charges Eleanor. He unfolds a piece of paper saying to Isabelle (not our Isabelle) "there once was a troll and a princess being kept away from the evil Danoran" as he begins telling her a story about being in love with her. At first we're like dawww but after we realize that this is actually creepy as Eleanor begins screaming that she is being assaulted and sprays him with mace. He darts back off saying that he'll free his princess soon by killing the evil (oh boy)</p><p></p><p>Joe tracks him back to the train cars. </p><p></p><p>From the play Ennis and Celeste can conclude that the people of the malice land aren't a fan of either Risur or Danor, after being founded during the crusades of Crisillyir. As we all know the crusades have been extremely successful as after launching multiple of them they managed to expand by a few miles, hundreds of thousands of lives for a few border villages </p><p></p><p>Victoria to go track off the briefcase man who has left in a cartage. As She is following him, she hears a demonic voice saying "bring me a soul" As she sees someone pointing a gun at a lady about to shoot. She manages to push him away the bullet barely gracing the young lady. The man is the gunslinger Boone </p><p></p><p>Victoria has to roll initiative as it looks like she just found out a serial killer. She strikes at him with her sword, as he points his finger at Victoria to set her on fire Before grabbing his pistol and firing 4 shots at Victoria hitting her twice for 22 damage </p><p></p><p>Victoria responds back with a branding smite, dealing the same amount of damage. He responds back by firing his other pistol 4 times, one hitting Victoria straight in the forehead (natural 20) dealing 28 damage. Victoria is barely still up (Paladin ftw) as he says gotta make the final 4 shots count. </p><p></p><p>Victoria uses her bloodied action. She rolls very high for a summoning and out comes LuLu the golden elephant who casts a protective shield over Victoria. He shoots at the elephant, hitting in 3 times. Thankfully though because the protective spell only takes 9 damage. </p><p></p><p>The elephant LuLu responds back with a bubble blast, dealing 13 damage. Victoria ignites her cape on fire as he gets intimidated running away. Lulu who can travel 150 ft blocks him off shooting the bubbles at him for more damage. Victoria launched her flying dancing sword at him as he is now panicking the sword goes through his throat as he falls dead </p><p></p><p>She just managed to single handedly stop a CR6 enemy. Victoria dumps him into the lake after beheading him and grabs his pistols </p><p></p><p>All the lamps across the city suddenly go out turning into water. The lake next to the lighthouse turns into a lake of fire before everything turns to normal</p><p></p><p>The next day the town is a buzz about this golden elephant bringing forth a lake of fire and bubbles. Though people are kinda used to this crazy noisy bizarre town (Morioh cho) </p><p></p><p>We board the train, again managing to get through the wild magic checks. As the next hunting adventure begins with now Victoria joining Bergeron, Molly says directly to Ennis to keep her butt down </p><p></p><p>Ennis takes a shot at a giant crocodile hitting it through the eyes with a natural 20. A horn from the train sounds as the train starts rapidly slowing down, screeching to a halt, everyone trying to brace. Up from the swamp a giant long neck appears, at least three of them, a bunch of people in hoods begin boarding the train as the heads crash into the carts grabbing people as everyone on the top makes wisdom saves. </p><p></p><p>It's a hydra!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Cultsbane, post: 9001487, member: 7037457"] Campaign time: 2 hours, 58 mins, 59 seconds Everyone is watching out for the RHC spy who is a black cat in a funny hat. To make matters worse yesterday also featured a very horrific murder of a woman, her heart and kidney removed and placed into into her hands as her skin was removed and hanged up. Rumors are circulating that Kelik is responsible for it because Danor is comprised of those men of science that would never kill someone so brutally and ritualistically, as the murder was crude and not precise It is 7:30 AM and the train is leaving into the malice lands in 10 minutes. Celeste and Ennis are asking questions about the murder concerned that they as wealth and royalty might not be safe onboard the train, they suggest it is a demonic serial killer vampire. Danor dismisses the entire notion of vampires outright before we remind them that the feywild still exists and we've had incidents at the Holy Britannian Empire Ennis gets handed her golden rifle as the train car leaves the frozen capital of Danor heading through the malice lands, which we have 4 hours to kill until we arrive. Victoria moves to second class to find Bre. Bre is looking out the window and scratching at her scars. "How can I help you?" Victoria mentions that she is unemployed now and is looking for work. Bre is wondering why an elfarian lady is so out in the open and calls her in closer to suggest protecting the wealthy Tiefling clients. They continue having conversations about the various people on the train Bergeron heads to the lounge. Not really many people there that early as a lot of patients are back in cabins taking naps, he decides to do the same. Seeing Ennis busy with her studies Bergeron falls to sleep for a few hours The train suddenly stops next to a marching band that plays patriotic songs as you begin crossing into the malice land. Moly explains that this is requirement to set the mood as the atmosphere & even creatures seems to mimic the feelings of the people onboard, so the passengers must always be made to be happy Now time for the great hunting expedition. Multiple people show up to attend. The train is going to slow down for about half an hour to allow us a few shots after butt scooting across the train for a better shot Ennis and Bergeron both plan on attending the competition walk on the top of the train. Ennis refuses to disgrace herself by butt scooting, seeing other people walking on the train, she goes to do the same and nearly falls off the train. Bergeron getting a natural 20 barely saved her from falling off the train. Ennis gets lectured for her lack of care to basic safety protocols The stylish man with the briefcase unchains it from his hand and now puts it on his leg. Grabbing his rifle and taking aim over the landscape seeing some sort of zebra the size of an elephant covered in horns, a parrot cheetah, and a giraffe with a lion's head. This place has multiple environments. It makes absolutely no sense. Our target is a rhino with a Venus flytrap on its back as it is charging towards the train. Ennis fires off the first shot, getting a chunk out of it as it staggers back. Everyone starts taking multiple shots, the orc family the worst shots by far. The man with the briefcase does a perfect headshot through the eyes. Boone the gunslinger hits the other eye. The rhino goes down pretty quickly At this point a loud banging goes over the train. Ennis gets hit in the head square with a frying pan, taking 4 points of damage. She looks down the car seeing some weird lunatic with a grey beard standing on top of the car with a box of kitchen appliances throwing them at us. This guy is throwing these kitchen supplies completely accurate by 12 cars Moly screams to apprehend him immediately. That they'll deal with this giant superhobo with a frying pan (at least it isn't a hobo with a shotgun) and to not tell anyone about this incident Joe makes a history check and gets a 21. He puts two and two together that the guy sounds suspiciously similar to that hobo he had a run in with the other day People ask how Ennis is so good with a gun despite being from royalty, she mentions the HBE is stuck between multiple much larger nations who are always at war and so self defense training is required for everyone even royalty. Victoria begins belittling Bergeron for going up there without protection. We make another series of rolls within the malice land magic properties and we all manage to successfully get through Bergeron sees that Elanor is grabbing some very exquisite crab that she hasn't had before. The orc daughter runs up to a piano loudly playing it without knowing how it works and starts complaining that it is broken, Joe walks up to perform a piece on the piano. Playing it absolutely perfectly. Everyone starts clapping as the music starts mimicking a very upbeat song and celebrating begins. The orc mother introduces herself to Joe, mentioning that they're next door neighbors and that her husband is one of the largest real estate agents in Ber. That her husband is far too stressful and paranoid about everything. They talk about vintage piano styles and how they're superior to the newer nihilistic themes. Joe plays another performance a version of the moonlight sonata Ennis and Celeste start spreading the rumour that the hobo committed the murder last night. The trains crosses into another tundra with multi color skies, indicating that they are about an hour out from Orithea. The only safe city in the malice land The briefcase guy is in the lounge reading some newspapers. Victoria starts up a conversation complimenting his shooting skills. He says that he is surprised that he didn't see her up there, when Victoria says that she prefers close hand combat he shakes her hand talking about how she would love Drakr. Talking foundly about a lot of warlords & hero warriors in the Drake countryside but that they are a lot more relaxed culturally than Danor, but sadly he avoids staying because of dwarf obsessed fanaticism with the end of the world The man pulls out his dagger, Victoria attempting flirting "you want to see my dagger", he quips back "I should be saying that to you, but I'm on a tight work schedule, maybe after I'm done I'll give you a closer look at my daggers. Which shouldn't be too hard as this is his final job before very early retirement" We feel the train slowing down as we arrive in Orithea. The entire city is entirely composed of round structures, almost nothing is a straight edge. We arrive at a Danor district, getting told that we have free reign of the area until 7am when we leave tomorrow. We get recommend to visit the night market which has a large section of sorcerers and shows Joe checks into the rumours about the hobo, finds out that no one has been able to find him, but he keeps appearing and disappearing. Joe talks to Molly, mentioning that he has seen the homeless man before. Moly says she has a hunch of where he might be and starts heading to the cargo cars. Joe follows her The malice land check! Bergeron gets a natural 1 but thankfully he is in his hotel room during it. Bergeron notices that he is now a 2 dimensional creature, Ennis and Celeste suggest he has something to eat as he is looking pretty thin as Bergeron tries to speak but a literal comic speech bubble appears instead. What is this Rohan from JoJo bizarre adventure Looks like Bergeron isn't touring the city and is forced to resides in the hotel room until he gains his shape again. Everything he touches turns into a cartoon. Ennis and Celeste want Kelik to turn them into a cartoon as well, but he refuses saying that they would get in too much trouble. He isn't wrong So Ennis and Celeste head off to the night market. Joe finds the giant hobo inside a box of religious artifacts. The man wakes up as the box top is removed, he gets up looking around that something is here. He climbs up one of the building and starts running across the rooftops. Joe begins to follow him as be heads into the night market The night market has multiple stands. Many advertising fried foods, buttered cow tongue, pickled turtle soup, gumbo, and chicken butt on a stick. It is an interesting combination of Taiwanese and Louisiana cuisine. A puppet show is going on. The girls both head that way to the high tower where it is being hosted, it's a pretty good reenactment of a Ye island war where Danor and Risur navies both got whipped out by a rogue hurricane The hobo charges Eleanor. He unfolds a piece of paper saying to Isabelle (not our Isabelle) "there once was a troll and a princess being kept away from the evil Danoran" as he begins telling her a story about being in love with her. At first we're like dawww but after we realize that this is actually creepy as Eleanor begins screaming that she is being assaulted and sprays him with mace. He darts back off saying that he'll free his princess soon by killing the evil (oh boy) Joe tracks him back to the train cars. From the play Ennis and Celeste can conclude that the people of the malice land aren't a fan of either Risur or Danor, after being founded during the crusades of Crisillyir. As we all know the crusades have been extremely successful as after launching multiple of them they managed to expand by a few miles, hundreds of thousands of lives for a few border villages Victoria to go track off the briefcase man who has left in a cartage. As She is following him, she hears a demonic voice saying "bring me a soul" As she sees someone pointing a gun at a lady about to shoot. She manages to push him away the bullet barely gracing the young lady. The man is the gunslinger Boone Victoria has to roll initiative as it looks like she just found out a serial killer. She strikes at him with her sword, as he points his finger at Victoria to set her on fire Before grabbing his pistol and firing 4 shots at Victoria hitting her twice for 22 damage Victoria responds back with a branding smite, dealing the same amount of damage. He responds back by firing his other pistol 4 times, one hitting Victoria straight in the forehead (natural 20) dealing 28 damage. Victoria is barely still up (Paladin ftw) as he says gotta make the final 4 shots count. Victoria uses her bloodied action. She rolls very high for a summoning and out comes LuLu the golden elephant who casts a protective shield over Victoria. He shoots at the elephant, hitting in 3 times. Thankfully though because the protective spell only takes 9 damage. The elephant LuLu responds back with a bubble blast, dealing 13 damage. Victoria ignites her cape on fire as he gets intimidated running away. Lulu who can travel 150 ft blocks him off shooting the bubbles at him for more damage. Victoria launched her flying dancing sword at him as he is now panicking the sword goes through his throat as he falls dead She just managed to single handedly stop a CR6 enemy. Victoria dumps him into the lake after beheading him and grabs his pistols All the lamps across the city suddenly go out turning into water. The lake next to the lighthouse turns into a lake of fire before everything turns to normal The next day the town is a buzz about this golden elephant bringing forth a lake of fire and bubbles. Though people are kinda used to this crazy noisy bizarre town (Morioh cho) We board the train, again managing to get through the wild magic checks. As the next hunting adventure begins with now Victoria joining Bergeron, Molly says directly to Ennis to keep her butt down Ennis takes a shot at a giant crocodile hitting it through the eyes with a natural 20. A horn from the train sounds as the train starts rapidly slowing down, screeching to a halt, everyone trying to brace. Up from the swamp a giant long neck appears, at least three of them, a bunch of people in hoods begin boarding the train as the heads crash into the carts grabbing people as everyone on the top makes wisdom saves. It's a hydra! [/QUOTE]
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