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Dear Mom - Mishap Adventures of a Mommy's Elf
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<blockquote data-quote="Lwaxy" data-source="post: 5909098" data-attributes="member: 53286"><p>"Are we there yet?" </p><p></p><p>Flip grimaced at Uthas' annoyed question. The orc had asked at least 5 times over the last half an hour or so, and the halfling was getting tired of it. From the moment they had seen the slightest hint of light up ahead, the barbarian had become increasingly impatient. "No," he replied again, searching the glassified ground for any traps. "I told you before, the light reflects from the mirror-like walls and we can't know how much further we need to go." </p><p></p><p>"Considering I was in our comfortable home a while ago and could not sleep in my comfortable bed – dry, warm and safe, I might add – any distance is too far."</p><p></p><p>"You could just wait here, of course, or go back," Nev snapped. The mage was tired and sweaty and cold, but most of all, he was annoyed at the half-orc. He had never seen Uthas so impatient and foul mooded, and it was rubbing off on him. It seemed to be the same with the prince, as far as he could tell, but his friend didn't talk, just grunted now and then, and that could mean a lot with Orlath. </p><p></p><p>Sneaking around the next bend, Flip sighed at the tunnel's slightly upward slope. It was the same glassy floor, the same challenge free environment. Normally he would have been happy about not finding anything dangerous. However, they were walking for quite some time in an unchanging, boring environment, and he was growing very tired of it, so much so that he was sometimes not sure if he had checked for traps or not. His mind was beginning to wander. Since they had torched a net of poisonous spiders way back, there had been little change except for the hint at some light ahead now. </p><p></p><p>"So, are we there yet?" </p><p></p><p>"I swear, if you ask that one more time I'll put a permanent silence spell on you," Nev hissed. </p><p></p><p>"When did you learn do cast permanency?" Orlath suddenly grumbled. It was the first thing he had said in hours. </p><p></p><p>Flip was about to turn around and snap at all of them when the strangeness of the situation wiggled into his consciousness. They never behaved to each other this way, even with the occasional conflicts and status related differences. Something odd was going on. And he wasn't a halfling if this would not have to do with the tunnel they were walking through. "You two said there was no magic in this tunnel, right?" he made sure he heard right. "And that it looks like this because it's been made by a fire elemental?"</p><p></p><p>"Yeah," Nev growled. "Are you going to start repeating your questions now, too?"</p><p></p><p>"Look, if you would just..." The thief caught himself and took a deep breath. "I mean, would there be anything else but magic to twist your mind and make you angry and gloomy?"</p><p></p><p>"Uthas' questions?" the prince offered. </p><p></p><p>"Hey, maybe you don't care to get out of here but I..."</p><p></p><p>"It was a serious question," Flip interrupted the bodyguard. "What all can affect your mind if it does not detect as magic?"</p><p></p><p>"There are some magic manipulations that won't detect, but if you are suggesting this is the case here, then forget it." Nev pointed to the glassy tunnel. "There is no way anything could be hidden here, or work for miles on end."</p><p></p><p>Scratching his head, Flip looked at the glassy walls and ground of the tunnel again. "What else could make a tunnel like this if not a fire elemental? Do fire elementals melt stone, even?"</p><p></p><p>"Nah, sand, mostly, that is where the glass comes from, and we are in a sandy area, after all. Move on, I want to get out of here." Orlath was running his fingers through his hair in a nervous gesture. </p><p></p><p>"But that's the thing, see, I don't think there is sand under all this..."</p><p></p><p>"Are we there yet?"</p><p>"Were we moving?" Flip hissed at his friend, unable to catch himself this time. "We are trying to find out what's wrong, you big oaf. At least I do!" </p><p></p><p>"What's wrong is that we don't get out," Uthas growled and took a step closer to Flip. </p><p></p><p>"The only thing I know able to melt stone like this and cause mental influence is the purple-green snailworm, but they do not live here and are rare to begin with," the prince mused, ignoring everyone else.</p><p></p><p>Flip took a step back from Uthas. "Why would those worms influence anyone?"</p><p></p><p>Orlath shrugged, seemingly bored with the topic already. "Oh, they live off negative emotions. They are psionic, you see." </p><p></p><p>"Ah yeah, and psionics wouldn't detect as magic, right?" Flip wondered why he had to think for those two supposedly intelligent elves so often. </p><p></p><p>"Right," the price agreed. After a few seconds he added "Oh, I see." </p><p></p><p>"And before you ask how come such a thing is here, we are talking of a hideout of the late Drac," Flip added, trying to stay calm. "Could we defeat such a creature?"</p><p></p><p>"Easily enough, as its strength is its weakness," Nev nodded. "What gets people in a bad mood makes them more likely to defeat the beast. If it even exists around here."</p><p></p><p>"Let's go, then. Because what is up ahead does not look like normal light to me. Do those things glow?"</p><p></p><p>Nev scratches his head and frowned at Flip. "Yeah, their antenna things do... oh, I see," he mumbled as well. </p><p></p><p>"Does this mean I get to smack something? Now?" Uthas frowning face seemed to get more intense. "I want to kill stuff." </p><p></p><p>"Yes," Flip said, pointing ahead. "That's what it means."</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>While the fearless 4 were still in the tunnels, night had fallen over the land. The orc and the elf weren't so much sneaking into the village than just casually walking into it. Before they were going to deal with the bandits here, they wanted to scout it out in the only way they knew – going to the tavern or inn.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, as small as the village was, it seemed to have two of those drinking establishments. The one further in town seemed a bit more seedy, but to their surprise had some semblance of order as they looked in through dirty windows, while the inn seemed a bit out of control – the first thing they saw was a patron, looking like a villager not a bandit, coming through the door flying and crashing at their feet. He mumbled something and ran. </p><p></p><p>Thalla scratched her head. "So, what now? Do we split up to check them out?"</p><p></p><p>"I think not. As we are already here and this looks to be more likely to be a place of trouble, we might as well start here." With that, Lhess stepped up and opened the door. </p><p></p><p>The first thing they noticed was the bored looking village whore sitting on the balcony looking into the common room from the upper floor, doing her nails. No one else threw a glance at them. A bunch of rough looking guys played dice or cards and cursed wildly, and someone else got himself some beer without asking the supposed innkeep. Said innkeep stood in a corner with a long face, with a lad who looked to be his son next to him. An aging serving woman wove nervously in and out of the crowded chairs, tables and benches, almost tripping over the leg of one of the supposed bandits. A few half drunk looking louts were popped up on the bar with half empty kegs. </p><p></p><p>The second thing they noticed was a titan of a man with wide shoulders in padded armor, carrying a massive mace. He sat all alone in the back of the room in a corner, drinking wine out of an ale keg while scowling at everyone. No one was close by, and no one dared to run a chance to bump into the guy. </p><p></p><p>"Maybe you shouldn't have come with an outfit shouting 'paladin to slay here,' " the orc suggested. </p><p></p><p>Lhess snorted in a dismissive manner. "I've taken on worse alone, and you don't look like you can't handle yourself, either," she said. </p><p></p><p>That was when the large guy in the corner noticed them. A few seconds later, the other patrons noticed where he was looking and followed his gaze. The room fell silent. "Uh oh," the innkeeper said and pulled his son into cover behind the bar. </p><p></p><p>"Hello, there," Lhess said with a pleasant smile. Only those who knew her well would have been able to detect the eager spark in her eyes. "Time to clean up here and and the nastiness. I, Lhess of the Moonwind, servant of the gods of benevolence, have come to restore this village to some semblance of order." </p><p></p><p>Thalla could not help to shake her head at the, to her, typical elf almighty talk. "And I, Thalla, just some orc from the road, have come along to smash some head because I'm in a very bad mood," she added. She was not sure why she said that, either, but something in the elf's voice pushed her along. </p><p></p><p>Several battle cries later, the whole room sans the workers and owners were coming at them. Two of the drunk louts from the bar used their bar stools as weapons. Lhess looked at the shouting avalanche and nodded to herself, seeing it all in slow motion. She also noticed the small guy in underwear coming out of one of the upper rooms – presumably the working place of another whore – trying to put on his pants while at the same time stringing his bow. In all that, she had time to pick her target. </p><p></p><p>For Thess, it was a simple decision of who stood closest, and that happened to be one of the poker players who now came at her with a short sword and a dagger. Thess lifted the spare longsword she had gotten from the elf seeing how she had been robbed and easily parried the attack. The sword was a bit too light for her taste and the balance was different but she still had no trouble to swing around and do her favorite deheadification move, as she called it. The head of the first casualty of the day fell a moment before the paladin felled an attacker who had tried to flank her. The orc felt great – she had had the first kill over an elf paladin! </p><p></p><p>Then a thundering roar came from the corner of the room and large guy broke his way through the crowd showing off a bastard sword. He cared little who he trampled down, friend or foe. With a swing of the sword to ready it for his attack, he cut into the shoulder of one of his fellows and did not even notice. </p><p></p><p>Lhess took a step back and sent a short prayer to the gods. This was just what she needed to turn this into a pandemonium. And the gods listened. Confusion spread over the faces of almost all of the shoved aside thugs, and their anger was redirected to the big guy. Lhess spun a confused looking, slim man with a mace around and kicked him into the way of her attacker, still seeing everything in slow motion. </p><p></p><p>And then the earth shook. It was not very pronounced and not from the battle, Lhess noticed. But several glasses and decorations dropped off the walls and hit random fighters, including a few who just burst through the doors behind them, obviously having noticed something was going on. A rat-like halfling who had his short sword posed to back stab her and had just been unsure where to try and pierce her armor suddenly had a large ham on the tip of his weapon. The thug who had had the mace came back in several versions of slimmer, having been sliced apart, and covered everyone with blood. </p><p></p><p>Thess took a bite out of the ham and ran the unfortunate new owner of the food through with her sword. At the same time she bashed another one's nose in with her free hand. "I love this," she laughed. </p><p></p><p>Lhess ducked under an attack from the large guy. Her nose wrinkled as she noticed the bad smell of the bandit. The invention of soap and other toilet utensils must have passed by him unnoticed. Maybe the reason why no one had been close to him was as much the smell as his size. Without realizing it, she used a spell all elf maidens of her upbringing learned as little kids. </p><p></p><p>An intense smell of jasmine, orchids and vanilla surrounded her opponent all of a sudden. As she blocked his sword with her holy shield, her foe attempted a battle cry and took in a large breath. A moment later, he started sneezing violently. The sword bounced down on Lhess' shield again and again with each sneeze. After a moment of confusion, the paladin used this welcome distraction to stab through the weak protection of his armpits and felled him. Thanks to the sneezing fit, he could not get up again and she now had little problem dispatching him. </p><p></p><p>An arrow deflected from her helmet, causing her to look for the archer. He had given up on his pants and fired random shots into the crowd. </p><p></p><p>The rest of the opponents slowly gathered their wits, noticing they were largely fighting each other and the furniture. And yet more thugs came in. It was time to think of some final solution to this battle. It dawned on her that this might not be so easy after all. </p><p></p><p>The final solution was on its way just then. Covered partly in slime from disposing off their snailworm victim, 4 well known adventurers ran down a secret door and fell out of a tree trunk just in the middle of the village. Nev sniffed the fresh night air and sighed. "Ah, I smell the ocean!"</p><p></p><p>"I still only smell snailworm," Uthas growled, still in a bad mood. "And we fell out of a fricking tree trunk. A tree trunk!"</p><p></p><p>"As long as we didn't fall out of a tree," Flip commented and tried to close the damaged door as best as he could. "Weird end location, though. Say, do you hear that?"</p><p></p><p>Uthas' face lit up. "Sure do. Sounds like a serious fight. And it comes from the building over there." He pointed to the other end of the village, where a crowd had gathered in front of the building, with some people wanting in and some people definitely trying to get out. "Maybe someone took the concept of a bar fight to some new extremes."</p><p></p><p>"Are we sure we want to be involved in..." the prince cautioned, but it was too late. Uthas was already drawing blank and rushed his still frustrated barbarian self to the place of battle. </p><p></p><p>The halfling sighed. "We don't really have a choice, do we?"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lwaxy, post: 5909098, member: 53286"] "Are we there yet?" Flip grimaced at Uthas' annoyed question. The orc had asked at least 5 times over the last half an hour or so, and the halfling was getting tired of it. From the moment they had seen the slightest hint of light up ahead, the barbarian had become increasingly impatient. "No," he replied again, searching the glassified ground for any traps. "I told you before, the light reflects from the mirror-like walls and we can't know how much further we need to go." "Considering I was in our comfortable home a while ago and could not sleep in my comfortable bed – dry, warm and safe, I might add – any distance is too far." "You could just wait here, of course, or go back," Nev snapped. The mage was tired and sweaty and cold, but most of all, he was annoyed at the half-orc. He had never seen Uthas so impatient and foul mooded, and it was rubbing off on him. It seemed to be the same with the prince, as far as he could tell, but his friend didn't talk, just grunted now and then, and that could mean a lot with Orlath. Sneaking around the next bend, Flip sighed at the tunnel's slightly upward slope. It was the same glassy floor, the same challenge free environment. Normally he would have been happy about not finding anything dangerous. However, they were walking for quite some time in an unchanging, boring environment, and he was growing very tired of it, so much so that he was sometimes not sure if he had checked for traps or not. His mind was beginning to wander. Since they had torched a net of poisonous spiders way back, there had been little change except for the hint at some light ahead now. "So, are we there yet?" "I swear, if you ask that one more time I'll put a permanent silence spell on you," Nev hissed. "When did you learn do cast permanency?" Orlath suddenly grumbled. It was the first thing he had said in hours. Flip was about to turn around and snap at all of them when the strangeness of the situation wiggled into his consciousness. They never behaved to each other this way, even with the occasional conflicts and status related differences. Something odd was going on. And he wasn't a halfling if this would not have to do with the tunnel they were walking through. "You two said there was no magic in this tunnel, right?" he made sure he heard right. "And that it looks like this because it's been made by a fire elemental?" "Yeah," Nev growled. "Are you going to start repeating your questions now, too?" "Look, if you would just..." The thief caught himself and took a deep breath. "I mean, would there be anything else but magic to twist your mind and make you angry and gloomy?" "Uthas' questions?" the prince offered. "Hey, maybe you don't care to get out of here but I..." "It was a serious question," Flip interrupted the bodyguard. "What all can affect your mind if it does not detect as magic?" "There are some magic manipulations that won't detect, but if you are suggesting this is the case here, then forget it." Nev pointed to the glassy tunnel. "There is no way anything could be hidden here, or work for miles on end." Scratching his head, Flip looked at the glassy walls and ground of the tunnel again. "What else could make a tunnel like this if not a fire elemental? Do fire elementals melt stone, even?" "Nah, sand, mostly, that is where the glass comes from, and we are in a sandy area, after all. Move on, I want to get out of here." Orlath was running his fingers through his hair in a nervous gesture. "But that's the thing, see, I don't think there is sand under all this..." "Are we there yet?" "Were we moving?" Flip hissed at his friend, unable to catch himself this time. "We are trying to find out what's wrong, you big oaf. At least I do!" "What's wrong is that we don't get out," Uthas growled and took a step closer to Flip. "The only thing I know able to melt stone like this and cause mental influence is the purple-green snailworm, but they do not live here and are rare to begin with," the prince mused, ignoring everyone else. Flip took a step back from Uthas. "Why would those worms influence anyone?" Orlath shrugged, seemingly bored with the topic already. "Oh, they live off negative emotions. They are psionic, you see." "Ah yeah, and psionics wouldn't detect as magic, right?" Flip wondered why he had to think for those two supposedly intelligent elves so often. "Right," the price agreed. After a few seconds he added "Oh, I see." "And before you ask how come such a thing is here, we are talking of a hideout of the late Drac," Flip added, trying to stay calm. "Could we defeat such a creature?" "Easily enough, as its strength is its weakness," Nev nodded. "What gets people in a bad mood makes them more likely to defeat the beast. If it even exists around here." "Let's go, then. Because what is up ahead does not look like normal light to me. Do those things glow?" Nev scratches his head and frowned at Flip. "Yeah, their antenna things do... oh, I see," he mumbled as well. "Does this mean I get to smack something? Now?" Uthas frowning face seemed to get more intense. "I want to kill stuff." "Yes," Flip said, pointing ahead. "That's what it means." While the fearless 4 were still in the tunnels, night had fallen over the land. The orc and the elf weren't so much sneaking into the village than just casually walking into it. Before they were going to deal with the bandits here, they wanted to scout it out in the only way they knew – going to the tavern or inn. Unfortunately, as small as the village was, it seemed to have two of those drinking establishments. The one further in town seemed a bit more seedy, but to their surprise had some semblance of order as they looked in through dirty windows, while the inn seemed a bit out of control – the first thing they saw was a patron, looking like a villager not a bandit, coming through the door flying and crashing at their feet. He mumbled something and ran. Thalla scratched her head. "So, what now? Do we split up to check them out?" "I think not. As we are already here and this looks to be more likely to be a place of trouble, we might as well start here." With that, Lhess stepped up and opened the door. The first thing they noticed was the bored looking village whore sitting on the balcony looking into the common room from the upper floor, doing her nails. No one else threw a glance at them. A bunch of rough looking guys played dice or cards and cursed wildly, and someone else got himself some beer without asking the supposed innkeep. Said innkeep stood in a corner with a long face, with a lad who looked to be his son next to him. An aging serving woman wove nervously in and out of the crowded chairs, tables and benches, almost tripping over the leg of one of the supposed bandits. A few half drunk looking louts were popped up on the bar with half empty kegs. The second thing they noticed was a titan of a man with wide shoulders in padded armor, carrying a massive mace. He sat all alone in the back of the room in a corner, drinking wine out of an ale keg while scowling at everyone. No one was close by, and no one dared to run a chance to bump into the guy. "Maybe you shouldn't have come with an outfit shouting 'paladin to slay here,' " the orc suggested. Lhess snorted in a dismissive manner. "I've taken on worse alone, and you don't look like you can't handle yourself, either," she said. That was when the large guy in the corner noticed them. A few seconds later, the other patrons noticed where he was looking and followed his gaze. The room fell silent. "Uh oh," the innkeeper said and pulled his son into cover behind the bar. "Hello, there," Lhess said with a pleasant smile. Only those who knew her well would have been able to detect the eager spark in her eyes. "Time to clean up here and and the nastiness. I, Lhess of the Moonwind, servant of the gods of benevolence, have come to restore this village to some semblance of order." Thalla could not help to shake her head at the, to her, typical elf almighty talk. "And I, Thalla, just some orc from the road, have come along to smash some head because I'm in a very bad mood," she added. She was not sure why she said that, either, but something in the elf's voice pushed her along. Several battle cries later, the whole room sans the workers and owners were coming at them. Two of the drunk louts from the bar used their bar stools as weapons. Lhess looked at the shouting avalanche and nodded to herself, seeing it all in slow motion. She also noticed the small guy in underwear coming out of one of the upper rooms – presumably the working place of another whore – trying to put on his pants while at the same time stringing his bow. In all that, she had time to pick her target. For Thess, it was a simple decision of who stood closest, and that happened to be one of the poker players who now came at her with a short sword and a dagger. Thess lifted the spare longsword she had gotten from the elf seeing how she had been robbed and easily parried the attack. The sword was a bit too light for her taste and the balance was different but she still had no trouble to swing around and do her favorite deheadification move, as she called it. The head of the first casualty of the day fell a moment before the paladin felled an attacker who had tried to flank her. The orc felt great – she had had the first kill over an elf paladin! Then a thundering roar came from the corner of the room and large guy broke his way through the crowd showing off a bastard sword. He cared little who he trampled down, friend or foe. With a swing of the sword to ready it for his attack, he cut into the shoulder of one of his fellows and did not even notice. Lhess took a step back and sent a short prayer to the gods. This was just what she needed to turn this into a pandemonium. And the gods listened. Confusion spread over the faces of almost all of the shoved aside thugs, and their anger was redirected to the big guy. Lhess spun a confused looking, slim man with a mace around and kicked him into the way of her attacker, still seeing everything in slow motion. And then the earth shook. It was not very pronounced and not from the battle, Lhess noticed. But several glasses and decorations dropped off the walls and hit random fighters, including a few who just burst through the doors behind them, obviously having noticed something was going on. A rat-like halfling who had his short sword posed to back stab her and had just been unsure where to try and pierce her armor suddenly had a large ham on the tip of his weapon. The thug who had had the mace came back in several versions of slimmer, having been sliced apart, and covered everyone with blood. Thess took a bite out of the ham and ran the unfortunate new owner of the food through with her sword. At the same time she bashed another one's nose in with her free hand. "I love this," she laughed. Lhess ducked under an attack from the large guy. Her nose wrinkled as she noticed the bad smell of the bandit. The invention of soap and other toilet utensils must have passed by him unnoticed. Maybe the reason why no one had been close to him was as much the smell as his size. Without realizing it, she used a spell all elf maidens of her upbringing learned as little kids. An intense smell of jasmine, orchids and vanilla surrounded her opponent all of a sudden. As she blocked his sword with her holy shield, her foe attempted a battle cry and took in a large breath. A moment later, he started sneezing violently. The sword bounced down on Lhess' shield again and again with each sneeze. After a moment of confusion, the paladin used this welcome distraction to stab through the weak protection of his armpits and felled him. Thanks to the sneezing fit, he could not get up again and she now had little problem dispatching him. An arrow deflected from her helmet, causing her to look for the archer. He had given up on his pants and fired random shots into the crowd. The rest of the opponents slowly gathered their wits, noticing they were largely fighting each other and the furniture. And yet more thugs came in. It was time to think of some final solution to this battle. It dawned on her that this might not be so easy after all. The final solution was on its way just then. Covered partly in slime from disposing off their snailworm victim, 4 well known adventurers ran down a secret door and fell out of a tree trunk just in the middle of the village. Nev sniffed the fresh night air and sighed. "Ah, I smell the ocean!" "I still only smell snailworm," Uthas growled, still in a bad mood. "And we fell out of a fricking tree trunk. A tree trunk!" "As long as we didn't fall out of a tree," Flip commented and tried to close the damaged door as best as he could. "Weird end location, though. Say, do you hear that?" Uthas' face lit up. "Sure do. Sounds like a serious fight. And it comes from the building over there." He pointed to the other end of the village, where a crowd had gathered in front of the building, with some people wanting in and some people definitely trying to get out. "Maybe someone took the concept of a bar fight to some new extremes." "Are we sure we want to be involved in..." the prince cautioned, but it was too late. Uthas was already drawing blank and rushed his still frustrated barbarian self to the place of battle. The halfling sighed. "We don't really have a choice, do we?" [/QUOTE]
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