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DM tips - what makes a good DM?
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<blockquote data-quote="aboyd" data-source="post: 4812666" data-attributes="member: 44797"><p>I think a co-DM is fine, if you're friends with that person or have worked out a nice arrangement where that DM will defer to you.</p><p></p><p>In other words, that DM needs to agree that while he/she might give you advice or look up rules for you while you play, he or she must <em>not</em> argue with you or otherwise undermine you during your own game. If you make a decision about the rules that the other DM dislikes, that DM must agree to basically shut up about it and support you.</p><p></p><p>I'm not suggesting that if you do something bone-headed, the other DM should say, "Yay, great idea!" He or she might say, "Um, have you read page 146? It talks about that. I could find the paragraph in question, if you like." But if you want to just move on, or if you read the paragraph and decide to ignore it, well, the other DM needs to support that.</p><p></p><p>If the other DM cannot support your decisions, then the other DM is acting as a toxic force against you. So yes, have a co-DM, but make it clear that you are the final decision maker. State beforehand that it is possible for you to decide something that the other DM won't agree with. That way the DM isn't going into it thinking, "We'll agree about everything, this will be easy." He or she should visualize you disagreeing, and should visualize backing down. If that person is OK with that, it would be a valuable thing to try.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="aboyd, post: 4812666, member: 44797"] I think a co-DM is fine, if you're friends with that person or have worked out a nice arrangement where that DM will defer to you. In other words, that DM needs to agree that while he/she might give you advice or look up rules for you while you play, he or she must [i]not[/i] argue with you or otherwise undermine you during your own game. If you make a decision about the rules that the other DM dislikes, that DM must agree to basically shut up about it and support you. I'm not suggesting that if you do something bone-headed, the other DM should say, "Yay, great idea!" He or she might say, "Um, have you read page 146? It talks about that. I could find the paragraph in question, if you like." But if you want to just move on, or if you read the paragraph and decide to ignore it, well, the other DM needs to support that. If the other DM cannot support your decisions, then the other DM is acting as a toxic force against you. So yes, have a co-DM, but make it clear that you are the final decision maker. State beforehand that it is possible for you to decide something that the other DM won't agree with. That way the DM isn't going into it thinking, "We'll agree about everything, this will be easy." He or she should visualize you disagreeing, and should visualize backing down. If that person is OK with that, it would be a valuable thing to try. [/QUOTE]
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