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Father of a teen
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<blockquote data-quote="Bullgrit" data-source="post: 6241902" data-attributes="member: 31216"><p>About a month ago, my son was upset because of how a friend had treated him. The friend said something insulting to him, picking on him, and laughed. I don't remember what the statement was, but his other friends present at the time either laughed or made no reaction. The situation upset my son.</p><p></p><p>When my son told me this, I explained that boys in middle school often experiment with things like types of humor. They hear someone on TV or in a movie cracked on someone, and it's funny at that time, in that situation, directed at that target. A boy will try to mimic that type of humor with his friends. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Usually the boy later realizes it wasn't funny, and was hurtful. But he doesn't know how to fix it, so he'll just drop it and hope all goes back to okay. The other boys present also don't know how to respond to something like that. So they might initially laugh, but then they'll just ignore it and go on with life.</p><p></p><p>I told him that his friend probably now realizes that his comment was mean, and he probably won't do it again to anyone. But if he does say something like that to you again, just respond with, "I thought we were friends." That'll show him that it's not something to say to someone you like.</p><p></p><p>A week or so later I asked my son if anything else happened with that friend. He said the friend made no more similar insults to anyone, and they were fine with each other. But one of his other friends did come to my son and apologized for what the other boy had said, and for laughing at it himself. I told my son to remember the feeling, because he may someday make a similar humor mistake, and he should remember how apologizing makes it better.</p><p></p><p>That same group of boys were invited by my son for his birthday sleep over this weekend. So the everyone seems to be friends, still.</p><p></p><p>I remember "experimenting" with personalities when I was a teen. It makes me grimace thinking back on all the times. Everything I tried outside my natural personality turned out so bad. Even as an adult, acting outside myself, unnaturally, turns out bad.</p><p></p><p>Bullgrit</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bullgrit, post: 6241902, member: 31216"] About a month ago, my son was upset because of how a friend had treated him. The friend said something insulting to him, picking on him, and laughed. I don't remember what the statement was, but his other friends present at the time either laughed or made no reaction. The situation upset my son. When my son told me this, I explained that boys in middle school often experiment with things like types of humor. They hear someone on TV or in a movie cracked on someone, and it's funny at that time, in that situation, directed at that target. A boy will try to mimic that type of humor with his friends. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Usually the boy later realizes it wasn't funny, and was hurtful. But he doesn't know how to fix it, so he'll just drop it and hope all goes back to okay. The other boys present also don't know how to respond to something like that. So they might initially laugh, but then they'll just ignore it and go on with life. I told him that his friend probably now realizes that his comment was mean, and he probably won't do it again to anyone. But if he does say something like that to you again, just respond with, "I thought we were friends." That'll show him that it's not something to say to someone you like. A week or so later I asked my son if anything else happened with that friend. He said the friend made no more similar insults to anyone, and they were fine with each other. But one of his other friends did come to my son and apologized for what the other boy had said, and for laughing at it himself. I told my son to remember the feeling, because he may someday make a similar humor mistake, and he should remember how apologizing makes it better. That same group of boys were invited by my son for his birthday sleep over this weekend. So the everyone seems to be friends, still. I remember "experimenting" with personalities when I was a teen. It makes me grimace thinking back on all the times. Everything I tried outside my natural personality turned out so bad. Even as an adult, acting outside myself, unnaturally, turns out bad. Bullgrit [/QUOTE]
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