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Ghourmand Vale (3.5 campaign)
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<blockquote data-quote="Richards" data-source="post: 8913484" data-attributes="member: 508"><p>To the Esteemed Bard, Holyrood Carp,</p><p></p><p>I hope you will not mind the sudden change in tone, but my next song is not broadcasting the positive virtues of one of my adventuring compatriots, but rather tearing down a vicious enemy. They say sarcasm can be a powerful weapon in the right hands, and I have full faith in your hands (and voice) in being able to bring down a downright cad through the power of your song.</p><p></p><p>The lyrics follow:</p><p></p><p style="margin-left: 20px"> Jasgund Singh...is a stuffy, old bore...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Tricked into marrying a whore...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Everybody laughed and mocked him so he turned around and socked 'em</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Jasgund Singh...likes to call himself a Lord...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> And he wants to be adored...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Wears a filthy, smelly turban; what he does is quite disturbin'</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Jasgund Singh...is a low-bred animal...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> A repulsive cannibal...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> And he eats the hearts of women; might as well, he sure can't win 'em</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Jasgund Singh...now this next part just might shock ya...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> He's not human, he's rakshasa...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> He's got a tiger head, that's rich; he can't tell which hand is which</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Jasgund Singh...is a tiger humanoid...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> And he's easily annoyed...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> He is always ill at ease, 'cause he's probably got fleas</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Jasgund Singh...trapped in a faraway land...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> He's got morons in his band...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> And he sends them out on missions but they vanish like magicians</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Jasgund Singh...is as stupid as they come...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> I'm not saying that he's dumb...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> But it couldn't get much clearer he can't locate the <em>Blood Mirror</em></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Jasgund Singh...trapped in his desert land...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Because that's where he's been banned...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Having him here'd be no favor, 'cause he's such a crappy neighbor</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Jasgund Singh...sits and sulks about each day...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> 'Cause he doesn't get his way... </p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> He's a whiny little wussy; a rakshasa's just a pussy</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Jasgund Singh...probably won't like this song...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> He won't listen very long...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> He'll hold his breath 'til he turns blue, wishing each word wasn't true</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> </p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Jasgund Singh...go ahead and throw a fit...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Get so mad that you could spit...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> But it won't make you feel better, you'll always be a bed-wetter</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Jasgund Singh...might as well just face the facts...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> No one buys your "tough guy" acts...</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> You'll always just be strange, for a tiger's stripes don't change</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> It looks like you've got the mange</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> You're stuck there, you got short-changed</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Your freedom you can't arrange</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> From your family you're estranged</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> And you'll never be exchanged</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> 'Cause your just so damned deranged!</p><p></p><p>I understand perfectly if you decide not to potentially incur the maniac's wrath - even if you opt not to ever use the song, I certainly had a good time writing it! In any case, best of luck with your continued performances.</p><p></p><p>With Fond Regards,</p><p></p><p>Alistair Mandelberen Pastlethwaite</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Richards, post: 8913484, member: 508"] To the Esteemed Bard, Holyrood Carp, I hope you will not mind the sudden change in tone, but my next song is not broadcasting the positive virtues of one of my adventuring compatriots, but rather tearing down a vicious enemy. They say sarcasm can be a powerful weapon in the right hands, and I have full faith in your hands (and voice) in being able to bring down a downright cad through the power of your song. The lyrics follow: [INDENT] Jasgund Singh...is a stuffy, old bore...[/INDENT] [INDENT] Tricked into marrying a whore...[/INDENT] [INDENT] Everybody laughed and mocked him so he turned around and socked 'em[/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT] Jasgund Singh...likes to call himself a Lord...[/INDENT] [INDENT] And he wants to be adored...[/INDENT] [INDENT] Wears a filthy, smelly turban; what he does is quite disturbin'[/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT] Jasgund Singh...is a low-bred animal...[/INDENT] [INDENT] A repulsive cannibal...[/INDENT] [INDENT] And he eats the hearts of women; might as well, he sure can't win 'em[/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT] Jasgund Singh...now this next part just might shock ya...[/INDENT] [INDENT] He's not human, he's rakshasa...[/INDENT] [INDENT] He's got a tiger head, that's rich; he can't tell which hand is which[/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT] Jasgund Singh...is a tiger humanoid...[/INDENT] [INDENT] And he's easily annoyed...[/INDENT] [INDENT] He is always ill at ease, 'cause he's probably got fleas[/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT] Jasgund Singh...trapped in a faraway land...[/INDENT] [INDENT] He's got morons in his band...[/INDENT] [INDENT] And he sends them out on missions but they vanish like magicians[/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT] Jasgund Singh...is as stupid as they come...[/INDENT] [INDENT] I'm not saying that he's dumb...[/INDENT] [INDENT] But it couldn't get much clearer he can't locate the [i]Blood Mirror[/i][/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT] Jasgund Singh...trapped in his desert land...[/INDENT] [INDENT] Because that's where he's been banned...[/INDENT] [INDENT] Having him here'd be no favor, 'cause he's such a crappy neighbor[/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT] Jasgund Singh...sits and sulks about each day...[/INDENT] [INDENT] 'Cause he doesn't get his way... [/INDENT] [INDENT] He's a whiny little wussy; a rakshasa's just a pussy[/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT] Jasgund Singh...probably won't like this song...[/INDENT] [INDENT] He won't listen very long...[/INDENT] [INDENT] He'll hold his breath 'til he turns blue, wishing each word wasn't true[/INDENT] [INDENT] [/INDENT] [INDENT] Jasgund Singh...go ahead and throw a fit...[/INDENT] [INDENT] Get so mad that you could spit...[/INDENT] [INDENT] But it won't make you feel better, you'll always be a bed-wetter[/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT] Jasgund Singh...might as well just face the facts...[/INDENT] [INDENT] No one buys your "tough guy" acts...[/INDENT] [INDENT] You'll always just be strange, for a tiger's stripes don't change[/INDENT] [INDENT] It looks like you've got the mange[/INDENT] [INDENT] You're stuck there, you got short-changed[/INDENT] [INDENT] Your freedom you can't arrange[/INDENT] [INDENT] From your family you're estranged[/INDENT] [INDENT] And you'll never be exchanged[/INDENT] [INDENT] 'Cause your just so damned deranged![/INDENT] I understand perfectly if you decide not to potentially incur the maniac's wrath - even if you opt not to ever use the song, I certainly had a good time writing it! In any case, best of luck with your continued performances. With Fond Regards, Alistair Mandelberen Pastlethwaite [/QUOTE]
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