Menu
News
All News
Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
Pathfinder
Starfinder
Warhammer
2d20 System
Year Zero Engine
Industry News
Reviews
Dragon Reflections
Columns
Weekly Digests
Weekly News Digest
Freebies, Sales & Bundles
RPG Print News
RPG Crowdfunding News
Game Content
ENterplanetary DimENsions
Mythological Figures
Opinion
Worlds of Design
Peregrine's Next
RPG Evolution
Other Columns
From the Freelancing Frontline
Monster ENcyclopedia
WotC/TSR Alumni Look Back
4 Hours w/RSD (Ryan Dancey)
The Road to 3E (Jonathan Tweet)
Greenwood's Realms (Ed Greenwood)
Drawmij's TSR (Jim Ward)
Community
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Resources
Wiki
Pages
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Downloads
Latest reviews
Search resources
EN Publishing
Store
EN5ider
Adventures in ZEITGEIST
Awfully Cheerful Engine
What's OLD is NEW
Judge Dredd & The Worlds Of 2000AD
War of the Burning Sky
Level Up: Advanced 5E
Events & Releases
Upcoming Events
Private Events
Featured Events
Socials!
Twitch
YouTube
Facebook (EN Publishing)
Facebook (EN World)
Twitter
Instagram
TikTok
Podcast
Features
Top 5 RPGs Compiled Charts 2004-Present
Adventure Game Industry Market Research Summary (RPGs) V1.0
Ryan Dancey: Acquiring TSR
Q&A With Gary Gygax
D&D Rules FAQs
TSR, WotC, & Paizo: A Comparative History
D&D Pronunciation Guide
Million Dollar TTRPG Kickstarters
Tabletop RPG Podcast Hall of Fame
Eric Noah's Unofficial D&D 3rd Edition News
D&D in the Mainstream
D&D & RPG History
About Morrus
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Community
General Tabletop Discussion
*Geek Talk & Media
Guy at my Wife's work nailed his Testicle to a House.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Vraille Darkfang" data-source="post: 3271288" data-attributes="member: 16989"><p>My wife works in the CAD Department, doing construction.</p><p></p><p>Guy at the job wasn't paying close attention with a Nail Gun & Impaled his Right Testicle to the Roof Framing.</p><p></p><p>It seems that in some of the areas they have to straddle the Frames and Nail as they go.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>The proper techinque is to begin just pass your knee at fire the Nail Gun AWAY from you as you go. Then, you can pull yourself forward & repeat.</p><p></p><p>Some guys find it easier to simply stretch out as far as they can reach & Fire Nails towards their body. Stopping, then scooching backwards. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Seems this guy was using method #2 & not paying close attention.</p><p></p><p>So the familiar:"Thump: Nail-Wood"; "Thump: Nail-Wood"; "Thump:Nail-Wood"; became...</p><p></p><p>"Thump: Nail-Wood"; "Thump: Nail-Wood"; "Whump: Nail-Denim-Wood"; "Thwack: Nail-Denim-Skin-Muscle-Skin-Denim-Wood"; "Thwack: Nail-Denim-Scrotum-Right Testicle-Scrotum-Denim-Wood".</p><p></p><p></p><p>This was followed by a "AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! HELP!!!! I Nailed by (Bleeps) to the roof!!!!!"</p><p></p><p>Thus follows a 911 call & 5 minutes waiting on an ambulance.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Did you many roofing nails have little backwards barbs on them, ensuring they remain impaled in the wood, and are thus nearly impossible to pull out?</p><p></p><p>I learned something new today.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Any way, the Peramedics had to cut the section of the roof he was impaled on away so they could lower him to the ground.</p><p></p><p>Then, in a Bob Via moment, they had to use a hacksaw, turned sidways into the wood, to cut the body of the nail off above the barbed part embedded in the wood.</p><p></p><p>Extraction of the steel spike from the Right Testicle was then possible.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Did you know the male testicle can survive being impaled with no lasting structural damage?</p><p></p><p>I learned something else new today.</p><p></p><p></p><p>The best part?</p><p></p><p>The Paramedic told the guy how lucky he was (The guy seemed to disagree).</p><p></p><p>Told him that if hadn't impaled his thigh first & thrown his aim off...</p><p></p><p>The Pressure Caused by the Wide Nail Head driving Flush into the Wood would have Ruptured his Impaled Testicle. (The EMT had seen it before).</p><p></p><p>I was a little surprised that the EMT had seen enough of these Nail Gun Testicle Impalments to be a good judge of severity.</p><p></p><p></p><p>So, the guy is going to be OK (Might walk a lil' funny for a few days).</p><p></p><p>A little Swelling. A few Stitches. Investing in Admantine Codpiece.</p><p></p><p>A-OK. (They gave him some pretty powerful pain meds).</p><p></p><p></p><p>So, to Sum up.</p><p></p><p>If using a Nail Gun, make sure you never aim anywhere remotely near your crotch.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Vraille Darkfang, post: 3271288, member: 16989"] My wife works in the CAD Department, doing construction. Guy at the job wasn't paying close attention with a Nail Gun & Impaled his Right Testicle to the Roof Framing. It seems that in some of the areas they have to straddle the Frames and Nail as they go. The proper techinque is to begin just pass your knee at fire the Nail Gun AWAY from you as you go. Then, you can pull yourself forward & repeat. Some guys find it easier to simply stretch out as far as they can reach & Fire Nails towards their body. Stopping, then scooching backwards. Seems this guy was using method #2 & not paying close attention. So the familiar:"Thump: Nail-Wood"; "Thump: Nail-Wood"; "Thump:Nail-Wood"; became... "Thump: Nail-Wood"; "Thump: Nail-Wood"; "Whump: Nail-Denim-Wood"; "Thwack: Nail-Denim-Skin-Muscle-Skin-Denim-Wood"; "Thwack: Nail-Denim-Scrotum-Right Testicle-Scrotum-Denim-Wood". This was followed by a "AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! HELP!!!! I Nailed by (Bleeps) to the roof!!!!!" Thus follows a 911 call & 5 minutes waiting on an ambulance. Did you many roofing nails have little backwards barbs on them, ensuring they remain impaled in the wood, and are thus nearly impossible to pull out? I learned something new today. Any way, the Peramedics had to cut the section of the roof he was impaled on away so they could lower him to the ground. Then, in a Bob Via moment, they had to use a hacksaw, turned sidways into the wood, to cut the body of the nail off above the barbed part embedded in the wood. Extraction of the steel spike from the Right Testicle was then possible. Did you know the male testicle can survive being impaled with no lasting structural damage? I learned something else new today. The best part? The Paramedic told the guy how lucky he was (The guy seemed to disagree). Told him that if hadn't impaled his thigh first & thrown his aim off... The Pressure Caused by the Wide Nail Head driving Flush into the Wood would have Ruptured his Impaled Testicle. (The EMT had seen it before). I was a little surprised that the EMT had seen enough of these Nail Gun Testicle Impalments to be a good judge of severity. So, the guy is going to be OK (Might walk a lil' funny for a few days). A little Swelling. A few Stitches. Investing in Admantine Codpiece. A-OK. (They gave him some pretty powerful pain meds). So, to Sum up. If using a Nail Gun, make sure you never aim anywhere remotely near your crotch. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Community
General Tabletop Discussion
*Geek Talk & Media
Guy at my Wife's work nailed his Testicle to a House.
Top